patcha Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 Ok. She asked me what I'd be up to, because she wanted us to get together. I tell her I have to work and gave her some days 2 weeks in advance when I'd be free. I haven't heard back from her in almost a week. It's getting close to those days, and I'm not sure if I want to hold those days for her any longer. I need some notice. What do you guys think? It's either I'm not going to hear from her at all (which is fine), but what do I do if she just contacts me only a few days prior to those dates that I told her I'll be free? It's important for me to have 2 weeks advance notice. So I can get some time off work as I work on call and sometimes around the clock.
collegekid491 Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 I feel your pain man, I'm always on call, but just make plans and let her know you are on call before hand? I've had some pretty sweet surprises when I return from getting called in... . Just call her. She might feel like she made the first response so its your turn. Ultimately its also the best way to know, better then making other plans and she calls you up shortly after and is upset cause you said you were leaving them for her :s
boogieboy Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 Its possible that she doesnt believe you, that she thinks the two weeks notice means youre not that into her and you need time to cancel. She is probably used to getting dates planned within a week. You def have to call, she is probably waiting for you to show that youre definitly interested. if she doesnt call you back, then you know she lost interest.
torranceshipman Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 If I asked out a guy and he turned me down then told me he had an opening in his diary 2 weeks from now...I wouldn't pursue it as I'd figure he wasn't so interested or being a bit arrogant or something. Which is clearly not the case with you! I'd make it clear to her that you're interested and want to see her and that the notice is needed only because of work - definitely do that else she might be keeping quiet because she thinks you've dissed her.
dressing up Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Ok. She asked me what I'd be up to, because she wanted us to get together. I tell her I have to work and gave her some days 2 weeks in advance when I'd be free. I haven't heard back from her in almost a week. It's getting close to those days, and I'm not sure if I want to hold those days for her any longer. I need some notice. What do you guys think? It's either I'm not going to hear from her at all (which is fine), but what do I do if she just contacts me only a few days prior to those dates that I told her I'll be free? It's important for me to have 2 weeks advance notice. So I can get some time off work as I work on call and sometimes around the clock. I think it's okay to contact her once. She might either feel like she made the first contact or that she thought you weren't interested so to give both yourselves a chance, there's no harm calling her. If she doesn't respond well, then you have your answer.
BobSacamento Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 OMG dude... where were you when they were handing out balls?
Jilly Bean Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 OMG dude... where were you when they were handing out balls? Patcha is FEMALE.
bean1 Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 If I was her, I would lose interest. Who wants to date someone when they have to line up a date 2 weeks in advance because of work? I understand your job is important to you but that's not the sort of thing that the average person is looking for in a partner. Nobody wants to feel like they have to be squeezed into a tiny slot in a timeframe. I work shift work so I know it is not easy but you have to see this from their view.
Author patcha Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 I guess we're not right for each other then. Should she pick a date, I'm probably going to cut the meet up short to an hour and excuse myself. I still would like to remain friends. Since I already gave her my word that I'd make time for whichever day she picks, I'll stand by it if she does pick a day. It's important for me to find someone who is confident in themselves enough to know that my life does not and will not revolve around theirs. I gave her around 3 days to pick from which I told her I would make time, because I really wanted to be with her. If she's offended that it's 2 weeks from now, then so be it. That's how I feel. I know I'm going to get flamed for that one. Yes and I'm female.
boogieboy Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 I guess we're not right for each other then. Should she pick a date, I'm probably going to cut the meet up short to an hour and excuse myself. I still would like to remain friends. Since I already gave her my word that I'd make time for whichever day she picks, I'll stand by it if she does pick a day. It's important for me to find someone who is confident in themselves enough to know that my life does not and will not revolve around theirs. I gave her around 3 days to pick from which I told her I would make time, because I really wanted to be with her. If she's offended that it's 2 weeks from now, then so be it. That's how I feel. I know I'm going to get flamed for that one. Yes and I'm female. You dont know that shes offended that its two weeks, you gotta call her first to find out. What did you need an excuse to quit? Dont give up so fast...where are your balls woman?
SoulSearch_CO Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 If I asked out a guy and he turned me down then told me he had an opening in his diary 2 weeks from now...I wouldn't pursue it as I'd figure he wasn't so interested or being a bit arrogant or something. Which is clearly not the case with you! I'd make it clear to her that you're interested and want to see her and that the notice is needed only because of work - definitely do that else she might be keeping quiet because she thinks you've dissed her. That would have been my thought had somebody given me the answer that you did. It was a "polite" brush-off. I guess we're not right for each other then. Should she pick a date, I'm probably going to cut the meet up short to an hour and excuse myself. I still would like to remain friends. Since I already gave her my word that I'd make time for whichever day she picks, I'll stand by it if she does pick a day. It's important for me to find someone who is confident in themselves enough to know that my life does not and will not revolve around theirs. I gave her around 3 days to pick from which I told her I would make time, because I really wanted to be with her. If she's offended that it's 2 weeks from now, then so be it. That's how I feel. I know I'm going to get flamed for that one. Yes and I'm female. It's not about lack of confidence. Being a woman yourself, surely you understand that women can read more into a response than what is really there. She may have thought you were trying to politely tell her you were only marginally interested. But yeah, I have these days 2 weeks down the road that I could *maybe* spare for you. In her shoes, I don't think I would have been outright INSULTED, but a little put-off, yeah. You have heard the pop-culture reference, surely, about people seeing if they can "pencil you in" on their calendar - meaning they are so busy and important and you rank far down the list, but they'll see if they can pull some strings just for you. It does sound arrogant. I'm not saying that's what you MEANT. I'm just saying how it SOUNDS. You dont know that shes offended that its two weeks, you gotta call her first to find out. What did you need an excuse to quit? Dont give up so fast...where are your balls woman? Yeah - I don't understand why you don't just call her? She asked you what days you'd have available, you told her which ones. It could have felt like a brush-off to her, so she's waiting to see if you really ARE interested in her. I don't see what's so wrong with you doing equal pursuing in this particular case.
Author patcha Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 Hm. I'm a girl and so should understand another girl more than this but probably not. We've only been on one date. Although I am interested, it's true. I am not that interested. I don't even know her that well yet. We just met and are still getting to know each other. I'm guessing we're both put off at this point. Wow. She talked about people who have emailed her on match.com, and that didn't really bother me. That's her business, and I even teased her about it, because I did think some were funny. lol. But I guess you guys have reached a consensus on this. I'll definitely keep them in mind for the next girl, when I counter an invite. I'm glad I now know why she hasn't responded, because I was very clueless about that when I posted. I remember my first crush and when I told her a day 3 weeks in advance, she was completely cool with it. She did call a week beforehand to see if we were still on, since we planned so far ahead. I'd prefer a girl like that, when it comes to scheduling dates. This one I'm going to let go.
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