alg24 Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 Hi- If the OW texted messaged the BS about the affair. Mentioning it was lasting for over a year, OW got herpes from husband, and apologized (Even though a apologize would never fix the damage). How would the BS handle this? The marriage for the past months were more a roommate type situation (2 young children) The BS knew husband was having affair before and told him to stop (Phone calls disappeared instantly) (He continued by purchasing a new phone) When the BS got these text messages the husband was leaving in a week for a couple months... Will the BS mention to the husband that the OW said everything? If she hasn't said it now will she say it eventually?
EnigmasMuse Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 Is this question about you? Or is it someone you know? hard to say what the OW or BS should or will do.
Author alg24 Posted June 22, 2009 Author Posted June 22, 2009 Someone I know. Please no nasty replies
Dexter Morgan Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 as an xBS, I'd be thankful for the information(although you said in this situation the BS knew about the affair), but would question their integrity by only NOW coming forward after being jilted. and curious...no nasty replies? if this isn't about you, why would you care? Or is the OW a friend of yours? looking to see how an OW friend would be responded to by a BS? Or is your friend a BS and you are simply curious how she should respond to an OW?
2sure Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 Yes, the wife will "mention" to her H that his OW has contacted her. And by the way - all MM/MW justify affairs by saying the marriage isnt working. And if the wife knew about the continued affair (lol) you really think he would be hiding his new cell phone? The fact that the MM is leaving town for a few months is no doubt behind the OW's contact with the wife. The H will tell the wife that HE dumped or otherwise rejected OW and that she is being spiteful , hence the texts.
EnigmasMuse Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 Someone I know. Please no nasty replies "How would the BS handle this?" I can't say how they would handle it, no one really knows for sure but the BS. But as a EX BS myself, I guess I would be appreciate the info and then try to move on.
Owl Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 OK, please be honest with others here...this has nothing to do with "a friend". http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t191095/ With that out in the open, I'm curious...what is it you're really asking here? Are you asking what the BS will do with the information? What are you hoping to gain by sending this information to the BS, or have you already done so and are simply wondering what's going on between BS and WS since then? I'm not sure I really understand the question you're asking.
Author alg24 Posted June 22, 2009 Author Posted June 22, 2009 When I said no nasty replies I meant in a way I didn't want to hear anything nasty... Off the topic of the question... Sorry! Yes this post is due to being curious. How would the BS response to the husband? Will she mention what the OW said? The BS already responsed to the OW (My friend) by saying thank-you for the honesty, I haven't been sleeping with my husband for over 6 months, I can never forgive you, etc.
whichwayisup Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 So this MM gave you herpes? Which mean his wife probably knows or has it already. Or is it that you have it and need to warn her that her H could give it to her? You've posted two different senario's in 2 sections..
Author alg24 Posted June 22, 2009 Author Posted June 22, 2009 I apologize for the lie I just didn't want to get attacked for anything nasty. I just wanted information on how the BS would handle a situation. Iam truly sorry for everyones pain. You didn't deserve it really... Anyway, lets just end this topic I brought up. Again, I am truly sorry.
whichwayisup Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 If the BS and her husband are being honest with eachother, then yes, she will tell her H everything and not hide anything. Also, I wouldn't believe your 'friend' when the BS tells her that she hasn't been having any sex with her H for 6 months. And, I wouldn't expect forgiveness from the BS, she doesn't have to forgive the OW. I'm not sue what is going on with the different posts, but my advice actually is,to just IGNORE the MM and leave his wife alone. Just focus on your own life and heal. Let them deal with things their own way.
Owl Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 There's no easy way for anyone to know for sure how the BS would work this with the WS. This would depend a great deal on the personalities of the people involved, and the overall situation. Is this his first affair? Is he actively trying to reconcile his marriage? Is he lying to her about wanting to do so? Far too many variables to know. My suggestion to you would be to let it go. There's no value in trying to figure out what's going on in their relationship anymore, unless you're looking for a way to resume the affair. If so, there's not much I can do to help you. If not, then you need to change your focus on helping YOURSELF deal with your side of the situation...help yourself recover, and let their side of things go. Does that make sense to you?
Author alg24 Posted June 22, 2009 Author Posted June 22, 2009 Of course... And again thank you. I really value and respect your responses. I am moving on... The MM keeps contact- misses, loves, etc. All lies of course. But I just wanted to know what the BS said. Clearly she hasn't mentioned to the H about the contact with OW because the H keeps contacting the OW...
Dexter Morgan Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 Yes this post is due to being curious. How would the BS response to the husband? Will she mention what the OW said? The BS already responsed to the OW (My friend) by saying thank-you for the honesty, I haven't been sleeping with my husband for over 6 months, I can never forgive you, etc. So the OW is your friend. Well, then I guess the BS said their peace, said she won't forgive your friend for screwing her husband. So your "friend" needs to leave it at that and now leave the BS alone.
whichwayisup Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 Just continue to ignore his contact attempts. If possible, change YOUR number, both personal and cell. Block him from your email, IM, facebook too if you have that.
Owl Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 WWIU is right (as usual!). Take active measures to BLOCK MM from contacting you any more. It's up to YOU to do the right thing here, just as much as it is on anyone else. If you want to heal, if you want the affair to end...then YOU NEED TO WORK TO END IT.
Trimmer Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 I just wanted information on how the BS would handle a situation. Neither you - nor we - can predict how this woman will handle or respond to a given situation. It's important to point out that "the BS" is not a trained animal, a computer program, or an abstract concept. The wife of your MM is a living, breathing, unpredictable human being. So asking "will she do this, will she do that?" But I just wanted to know what the BS said. You never will, and if you are really moving on, as you say you are, then you will eventually get to the point where it doesn't matter.
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