broknhearted Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 OM might be going to night shift in a couple weeks. so, outta sight outta mind so to speak. i think that will help me get over him easier than having him right under my nose every day. i will only see him at shift change and i can even avoid that if i want to. i've tried the whole NC thing, its hard. i don't think i have the will yet to do that, i can not respond to a text, but when i see my phone ring and his number pops up, i cant help but answer. but this.... could be the answer. i mean, the sexual part of our affair is over i'm sure(even though he says it isnt), hell its been almost 6 months. but the emotional part is still there but probably only on my part as well. i think once he's on nights (if he takes it) my heart will start healing, at least i hope so. he told me he wasnt 100% sure he wanted to go to nights, i told him it was a good opportunity to move up in the company.
Author broknhearted Posted June 25, 2009 Author Posted June 25, 2009 ok, so quick update.... he has decided to stay on day shift!!! now he will probably flaunt his new little A right in front of me. which of course he already is by going to break with her. this is killing me! i want to go up to her, grab her by the shoulders and tell her not to be stupid like me!! and i want to go up to him and punch him right in the face! but dammit... i can't. now.... i have to sit by and watch him move in on another woman, this hurts so bad, i really thought we had a connection, maybe even love? i didn't realize how bad it would hurt seeing him with another woman but it did. he noticed i was upset and wouldn't leave me alone, kept asking me what was wrong, i tried to just brush him off. i don't even want to go to work tomorrow. i don't know what to tell him. i guess i can go in and just pretend nothing is wrong, but its eating at me so bad. please, any advice is welcome. i wish if he found someone else he would just leave me alone, no more flirting, no more texts or calls, thats what makes it hurt worse i think, just the fact he's leading me on. i guess i shouldn't expect any better. i tried going to bed, but just laid there thinking about all this.... so.... here i am at 10:30 pm, lol.
D-Lish Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 Why can't you recognize him for what he is? He's married and having affairs of convenience. He's actually adjusting his predatory behaviour according to the shifts he works! Why would you want to place yourself in a position of being the "insignifigant other?" What could you possibly aspire to become? The woman that "lands" him and gets to stay home while he creeps on other prospects? Give your head a vigorous shake.
Gamine Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 It sounds to me as if he is more in love with himself than anyone else. My husband asked his therapist why, in his opinion, do MM say all of the 'love' talk to the OW. The therapist responded quite frankly that a man will say whatever he needs to say to get what he wants. Plain and simple. So perhaps the way a man feels about a woman should be understood through his actions and not his words.
Author broknhearted Posted June 25, 2009 Author Posted June 25, 2009 Why can't you recognize him for what he is? He's married and having affairs of convenience. He's actually adjusting his predatory behaviour according to the shifts he works! Why would you want to place yourself in a position of being the "insignifigant other?" What could you possibly aspire to become? The woman that "lands" him and gets to stay home while he creeps on other prospects? Give your head a vigorous shake. *sigh* very good point. i'm really trying to let go of him. i feel defeated and its my own fault.
Author broknhearted Posted June 25, 2009 Author Posted June 25, 2009 It sounds to me as if he is more in love with himself than anyone else. My husband asked his therapist why, in his opinion, do MM say all of the 'love' talk to the OW. The therapist responded quite frankly that a man will say whatever he needs to say to get what he wants. Plain and simple. So perhaps the way a man feels about a woman should be understood through his actions and not his words. another good point. i guess for me it's hard to see him for what he really is, i cant explain it, maybe love blinds you to their actions? on a good note (i guess) at least i'm seeing it now. guess its just gonna take time to heal, i don't know. i know i don't want to be the 'insignificant other', bad enough i was the OW, i definitely don't want to be the other OW. thanks for your replies. i really need them now to help me through this period of cutting the cord. at least i know what i have to do.
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