Soul Bear Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 Hey All, A little while since I last posted here. Just wanted to let you all know that things do get better!! For those of you that remember my story, I was a mess...borderline crazy...Thought I would NEVER get through this. Fiance of 4.5 years left me 2.5 months ago, and fell in love with another guy a month later. Well the last 3 weeks have just got better and better, easier and easier . So my advice is, and please, take it from me. DO NOT CONTACT YOUR EX FOR ANY REASON-This means no begging, no pleading, nor bargaining, no 'goodbye' emails.. that kind of stuff. It will only make things worse. Trust me-Im sure people here will tell you just how much of a pain in the arse I was.. KEEP A POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE- The more positive you are, the faster you will heal. Look fwd to YOUR NEW LIFE! You have no one to answer to anymore, you are free to do whatever you want, and I guarantee you will find someone who will blow your ex out the water and treat you the way you should be treated- the way you deserve. KEEP ACTIVE- Do push ups every day, exercise, set your self daily goals on a list and achieve them. The future is bright my friends, and nothing and no one can ever stop you or hold you down-except yourself. Live your life, and even if you dont feel happy, tell yourself you are happy and doing well. WE ARE WHAT WE THINK...WE ARE WHAT WE THINK Thankyou to everyone who helped on here, thankyou to everyone who put up with my crap, and thankyou to everyone who GAVE ME EXCELLENT ADVICE THAT I IGNORED- Dont ignore tha advice you receive on here, especially from, and a big thankyou to- CaliGuy, ArtCritic, LuckyOne, CarHill, BCCA, Nuala, Miguelrg, Nikki, Lora, Anxxdisaster, Exit, Boogey, Fabulouschk... sorry if I have forgotten anyone on this list, but know that I am forever greatful for EVERYTHING you have all done for me. I couldn't have done it without you guys and I can only hope one day that I get to meet at least some of you for that big pint I owe you. So guys, there is light at the end of the tunnel. In the words of Sir Winston Churchill- ''If your going through hell- keep on going'' I owe you guys big time, and I will kepp on keeping on, and help whoever I can. I learned the hard way, Please dont make the same mistakes I did. I may be stronger for it now, but Im telling you, It can quite possibly destroy you. Just listen to ALL the advice you have been given on here and LET GO OF HOPE. Hope is the killer for healing. Anywhoo, enough of my ramblings. Peace and Light guys, Peace and Light SoulBear
Author Soul Bear Posted June 22, 2009 Author Posted June 22, 2009 I would also like to add, please delete their phone no's, email addresses' and block them from your social networking sites. Even if your are working towards reconciliation, (which I am not) you will be doing yourself a favour. The sooner you heal, the sooner the next door will open. Dont be stuck in no mans land!!
Author Soul Bear Posted June 22, 2009 Author Posted June 22, 2009 Im better than ok...im doing really really well!!!! Thanks for everything Lora Another tip: Try not to rebound until you sorted out your issues. As good as rebound sex can be, I feel like It wouldnt have been productive to the healing process. Each to their own of course, thats just my personal belief.
lora22 Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 Good, that just put a huge smile on my face. I <3 beer , I'll totally look up "SoulBear" in the phonebook when I head to London, that's close-ish right
Author Soul Bear Posted June 22, 2009 Author Posted June 22, 2009 Thanks runner, sorry I left you off the list, you deserve a big thanks too!! Lora, you may very well be able to take me up on that offer. Im moving to London in a few weeks!! ahahaha I tried to PM you, but your not an Established member yet for some reason or another Be IN LOVE WITH LIFE, NOT YOUR EX!!!
runner Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 Thanks runner, sorry I left you off the list, you deserve a big thanks too!! Lora, you may very well be able to take me up on that offer. Im moving to London in a few weeks!! ahahaha I tried to PM you, but your not an Established member yet for some reason or another Be IN LOVE WITH LIFE, NOT YOUR EX!!! heh no worries mate keep up the sun, fancy a lady, guard your heart, live life to its fullest, and have another pint on me. not to plug celtic or l'pool, but 'when you walk through a storm hold your head up high - cos YNWA.
lora22 Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 Lora, you may very well be able to take me up on that offer. Im moving to London in a few weeks!! ahahaha I tried to PM you, but your not an Established member yet for some reason or another Be IN LOVE WITH LIFE, NOT YOUR EX!!! Love the quote And I know...it's sooooo annoying about the PM thing!!! I think it hasn't been 30 days or something maybe?
andy2009 Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 Good to know that you are moving forward. Your post is encouraging for those are in same situation as we were. good luck
Art_Critic Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 Glad your doing better SB... A good bit of time it is the "what if's" and the "if only's" that tend to get us and when that happens we think we can change the outcome or change someone's decision to move on... I certainly have been where you were and like you I tried to alter my destiny by thinking "if only" they would do this or if I tried this then things would change.. Life doesn't work that way.. Good luck to you in your future...
Author Soul Bear Posted June 22, 2009 Author Posted June 22, 2009 And you my friend are sensational! dont let anyone bring you down. No one can stop me now, and nothing will ever hold me down! Keep fighting the good fight SoulBear P.S Thanks Art and Andy =)
bluewolf17 Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 Hi SB, Glad to hear you are doing so much better. I remember when you first came on this board..and you were just searching for answers and healing. I am glad you are starting to find it. I am assuming you are still in NC?
Author Soul Bear Posted June 22, 2009 Author Posted June 22, 2009 Hi Blue! Yeah, Still NC. Ever since that email 2 weeks ago telling me that she is 'in love and very serious' with someone new she met a month ago, I am very happy to be in NC, in fact, I wouldnt have it any other way!! ahahaha Never replied, cut her out, blocked her. Im done done done! Woohoooo!! This has made NC VERY easy to do I am dreading the day she gets in touch and asks to be friends! So yes, things have come a long way for me, and the power of being positive has opened many new doors too. Thanks to you as well, and sorry, I forgot to put you on my thank you list...so thankyou Blue! Soul
NopeNah Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 Good to hear,my man! Now I can put my "ouch" keys to rest! haha! Take care and keep on keepin' on!
Author Soul Bear Posted June 22, 2009 Author Posted June 22, 2009 aaaaah...another thank you in order for you too!! Thank you
drummerprince81 Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 I can't believe I didn't get a mention!!! Well done Soul Bear - keep it up.
Author Soul Bear Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 how embarrassing...sorry bro! Thank you too!!
xxSRMxx Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 This makes me smile, and im sure gives us all some hope during a really **** time! I am glad u are happy, keep it up :-)
Leveller Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Glad to hear your better my friend I was starting to worry.
Nuala83 Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Has it really been 2 weeks? Amazing! A month or so ago that would have been so tough for you but I guess her actions have now made it pretty easy. It'll be interesting if she does ever get back in contact. My god that I'd love to see!!! Nice one s!
fairycake Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Hi SB, really good advise you've posted there, I wish I'd read it when I first got dumped. I only contacted my ex a couple of times and I don't regret what I said to him but when he replied saying nice things it broke my walls and made me say things back (only that I cared and I missed him, not asking him back or anything) that I now regret. I wish I'd stopped talking to him sooner. Still I'll learn from it. Also as for giving up hope I'm not sure that's something you can force, it fades naturally as time goes on and you get nothing from them and banishing it all at the first painful stage may be too much.
Author Soul Bear Posted June 25, 2009 Author Posted June 25, 2009 Nuala, Leveller,SRM and FairyCake- Thanks for your posts... Things are still looking good! Sure, you have the odd moment here or there...especially after tequila...but apart from that, we ALL have the next thing to look fwd too....which gives me an idea for a new post! Fairy- your right, hope is not something we can squash- it has to be squashed for us...
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