True2form Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 This time last summer I was with this girl but I treated her really badly and we broke up. I felt fine for about a week and then started regretting it. A month later, I pleaded my way back in and obviously hadn't learned a thing because three weeks later I freaked out and pushed her away again. I spent the next nine months regretting it every so often, even rehearsing what I could say to her to apologise every time I was in the shower. She's at uni but her best friend lives in the same town as me and became close to my housemates and in turn me, so of course I'd hear a lot about her. It hit hard when I found out she'd got with a new boyfriend right after me and had been with him ever since. I also found out she'd gotten really sick and had to leave university for one term. I was totally convinced she hated me so I was dreading seeing her at her best friend's birthday party. The party was a full day of drinking followed by a night out on the town. The second I saw her again...first of all she looked beautiful as ever and second of all I knew I'd either (in my drunken state by the end of the night) try and kiss her or end up spouting out the apology. She was very civil and normal and nice...like nothing had happened, which made me crave her more. By the end of the night, all of us were drunk (apart from her because of her health) and we were all having a great time but suddenly she had to depart. I cracked and told her I missed her so so much. She was really shocked and didn't know what to say and then out came the apology and I told her I knew what I'd done to her was wrong and stupid and I was a real prick and I missed her so much because she's the most amazing person I've ever met. She was crying...and I don't cry but I think I was inside. Anyway, for ages I was gutted because she still has this boyfriend...but then recently...I obviously don't know everything but he started making a lot of wrong moves and because she was back from uni, we were all hanging out as a big group at weekends either out on the town or at my flat. I conveniently forgot one night that if you tell a girl's best friend something it gets back to her in no time and I admitted that I loved her. Within the hour she confronted me about it and told me she didn't believe me...but it's true. I'm crazy about her I'm just an idiot. WHY did I let her go!? I've changed now and I just can't even fathom what I was thinking...she's amazing.... So here's the thing. She says that if I'd never pushed her away she never would have got with this guy, but he's shown her nothing but kindness and a good relationship until a couple of months ago just before the birthday party. She says she has really deep feelings for me that even she doesn't understand because I don't deserve it. If she just knew she could trust me to stay with her she would drop everything and be with me. I said there's no other way I can prove it to her than by waiting for her.... What else could I do? Help!
JohnnyBlaze Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but there probably isn't much you can do. You had a chance and blew it. You had a second chance and blew that, too. The fact that she even gave you as much of an opening as she did this third time around is a complete miracle. 99.9% of women I know wouldn't even consider talking to you after that, let alone give you a hint of another chance. From what I can see, all you can do right now is just hang back and be her friend for a while. Show her that you're a better person now; that you've changed. In time (months/years), she may decide to give you another chance. Note: the key word here is "may". It's a long shot, but it's better than none. Of course, if you haven't changed, you might want to work on that first. Otherwise, you'll only hurt her again.
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