annsumm Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 Hi, I met a guy online, we had two really nice dates and seemed to 'click'. Saw him a week ago and have chatted on instant messenger since. He asked when I was next free to meet up again for a third date, and I said I would be free on Monday night but was busy over the weekend. Following these very vague plans, I haven't heard a thing since. He usually calls to make plans but...nothing. It could be worth mentioning that I refused his sexual advances on the second date as I prefer to wait and get to know someone before taking things to that level and told him this since he actually asked why I was resisting him !! I suppose I am just asking for some input on what people think of the situation. I'm not heartbroken or anything like that but its frustrating when someone appears interested and then backs off suddenley. Thanks in advance x
Bejita463 Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 Hi, I met a guy online, we had two really nice dates and seemed to 'click'. Saw him a week ago and have chatted on instant messenger since. He asked when I was next free to meet up again for a third date, and I said I would be free on Monday night but was busy over the weekend. Following these very vague plans, I haven't heard a thing since. He usually calls to make plans but...nothing. It could be worth mentioning that I refused his sexual advances on the second date as I prefer to wait and get to know someone before taking things to that level and told him this since he actually asked why I was resisting him !! I suppose I am just asking for some input on what people think of the situation. I'm not heartbroken or anything like that but its frustrating when someone appears interested and then backs off suddenley. Thanks in advance x I bolded the parts that jumped out to me. From the brief description you gave, it does not appear to be particularly difficult to guess what his intentions were.
SoulSearch_CO Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 He wanted some nookie. You declined because you have self-respect. He is now ditching you because of it. NEXT!
Joyvke Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 He wanted some nookie. You declined because you have self-respect. He is now ditching you because of it. NEXT! This. Don't be surprised if he suddenly comes back, being all nice and all, untill you're ready to give in, and when you end up doing so he will vanish onto the next girl.
Author annsumm Posted June 22, 2009 Author Posted June 22, 2009 Ooooo the cheeky monkey, see I never thought that when he suggested third date, after I had refused it!! If he had not suggested another date, disappearing after the second one, I may have realised this.
patcha Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 I'm glad you resisted his advances, since you weren't ready. You stood firm. Good for you. Now on to the next guy!
Author annsumm Posted July 1, 2009 Author Posted July 1, 2009 Oh my, well he disappeared for a week with no contact either by phone or messenger. Then a week later popped up on messenger asking why I had been so quiet ! He said 'I was going to call but didn't know what you were thinking'??? and that he thought it was my turn to call him to arrange the Monday date because he always calls me. Then asked when he could see me again. I avoided the question, he said he would call, still hasn't called me. Is it me or is he playing head games? Am i just being kept hanging? He has got me in the position now whereby I am trying to figure out what is going on.
SoulSearch_CO Posted July 1, 2009 Posted July 1, 2009 Ha! Sounds like an excuse to me...the whole, "I thought it was your turn," etc. More than likely, someONE else came up that day, so he didn't bother with you because you weren't easy. Now he's hoping to try to tap that resource again to see if you're easier this time around. Ignore him. Seriously. I'd take him off my IM and I'd ignore his phone calls if he ever DOES grow the balls to call.
v g Posted July 1, 2009 Posted July 1, 2009 Oh my, well he disappeared for a week with no contact either by phone or messenger. Then a week later popped up on messenger asking why I had been so quiet ! He said 'I was going to call but didn't know what you were thinking'??? and that he thought it was my turn to call him to arrange the Monday date because he always calls me. Then asked when he could see me again. I avoided the question, he said he would call, still hasn't called me. Is it me or is he playing head games? Am i just being kept hanging? He has got me in the position now whereby I am trying to figure out what is going on. Um, NEXT!!! This sounds so familiar. A particularly fantastic line I got was, "I didn't call because I thought you needed alone time." Ha! Do yourself a favor and move on. Realize that this is his 'best behavior' at the beginning of your relationship. Imagine how he will be treating you when he's no longer on his 'best behavior." Doesn't sound like a good time to me. There are sooooooooooo many wonderful and thoughtful and kind men out there. Don't waste another moment on this loser.
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