mortensorchid Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 I am wondering if I overreacted to this now, but I also wonder if I have some displaced emotions. I was supposed to have a date for my friend's birthday party. It was fancy dress, the theme was prom night. I got a prom dress for $10 from a thrift store and did my hair up all big. I was all excited. I asked someone if they would like to go with me, he said yes he likes to go to costume parties. He said he had something he had to do earlier that day, and he would call me around 8 pm. That call never came. I went to the party by myself at 10, took my cell phone, and the cell never rang the whole time I was there. This afternoon, he sends me a text message. He said "Hope you had a nice time - I didn't get free until later last night. Didn't have your number either!" Well, I was livid to get this. He didn't have my number?! He didn't have my landline number, but he had my cell and he could have called! I sent a text back "You had THIS number dumbass & didn't call or text until just now! Last time I bother with some inconsiderate ******* like you! Get bent!" No response. He's not brave enough to respond to me. I spent all afternoon crying that I put my eggs in that basket, I feel double stupid for even asking someone as inconsiderate as him to go to a party with me. Am I being irrational?
Sweetcheripie Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 A friend of my son's actual prom night - name Justin. 17 years old - the kids rented a limo, had dinner reservations a big group of them. They all met at my house to take pictures before etc. We kept waiting for one girl. She ended up texting one of the girls saying she was grounded and to tell Justin she was sorry. WTH? So the girls don't know what to do so they tell me - no one wants to tell Justin. I call the girl but she won't answer the phone. Finally get a hold of the Dad and he goes off on a rant that she never asked to go to the prom and blah blah blah. So Justin ends up without a date. When I tell him, he takes a deep breath, wipes away a little tear and then asks me if he should still go or go home. The other guys all rally and say to hell with it hop in the limo and lets have fun. He smiles and off they went. He went, he was embarrassed but my son and the girls told me later that he never showed that he was hurt or down. He held his head up high and had a great time. He never said anything bad about the girl, but he hasn't spoken to her again. Moral of the story: If a 17 year old boy can brush it off and realize it wasn't him and made the best of it - so can you! Forget the guy and move on!
jonm07 Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 Well, it really depends on why he didn't call. Sometimes guys leave out big details so you won't worry, that's probably not the case I know, but it could have been something very serious. Who knows.
neveragain2493 Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 I was with a guy once that I had a big friend history with, and we went on a date. We went perfectly together, and he said I was his 'main thing'. 3 days later, he went back to his crazy ex, and I had not a clue. These guys are losers and cowards. He won't text back because he knows you're angry, and he's too scared to face you. Let the loser go.
Citizen Erased Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 You're not being irrational, it's normal to be pretty pissed about something like this. Your text made me laugh, is that really what you sent to him, word for word? People like these always make me wonder what they would do if it was something important. Like meeting you in a church, you in a big white dress...if it was important, he should make the time. To be honest, him saying he would call you at around a certain time on the day you were meant to go is not acceptable. You make a solid plan and you stick to it.
Ronni_W Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 I sent a text back "You had THIS number dumbass & didn't call or text until just now! Last time I bother with some inconsiderate ******* like you! Get bent!" No response. He's not brave enough to respond to me. I wouldn't call it "irrational" as much as undignified and rude behaviour. I get that you were embarrassed and pissed off, but still. Not necessarily that he isn't "brave enough." Regardless of my "sin", if I got a text like that, I wouldn't want to have anything to do with the sender, either. At the end of the day, probably best for all concerned...does NOT sound like a match made in heaven.
Cora Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 Just one of the many reasons I did not attend prom. Prom is too overrated!
Lindarose84 Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 Ok mortensorchid, that has got to be the funniest text ever. Some guys really deserve to be told off about their BS. He texted you the next day to tell you he didn't have your number???? So what the hell number did he just use to text you? He was obviously able to contact you in some form whether it be by landline or cell phone. What an idiot. Good riddance. I don't think you overreacted. Being stood up has got to be one of the most gut-wrenching experiences in dating. I'm sure after that text he'll think twice about pulling such a lame move on some other unsuspecting woman.
boogieboy Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 You werent at all irrational. You pretty much told him what you should have which is "F*ck Off forever!" But Can I hazzard a guess that you didnt know this guy that well, so you didnt know he was going to be so unreliable?
loser101 Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 no, you weren't irrational. this is exactly something I would do - ALTHOUGH I leave swear words and abuse out. it is perfectly possible to send a cutting text message to someone and still sound 'respectful'. in fact, it's even worse
loser101 Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 I wouldn't call it "irrational" as much as undignified and rude behaviour. I get that you were embarrassed and pissed off, but still. Not necessarily that he isn't "brave enough." Regardless of my "sin", if I got a text like that, I wouldn't want to have anything to do with the sender, either. At the end of the day, probably best for all concerned...does NOT sound like a match made in heaven. while I don't agree with rudeness on principle, I think a man forfeits any rights for respect if he behaves like this. he is not only flakey but he has no balls: the biggest sin of all.
Eleventy Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 What a moron that guy is. "I didn't have your number." Seriously? This guy's something else, haha.
KikiW Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 I probably wouldn't have been brave enough to have sent that kind of text, but I certainly applaud you - you told him you have no patience for someone who doesn't have the decency to follow through with a commitment. Had there been a real emergency and he truly didn't have access to a way to contact you, the gentlemanly thing to do would have been to send flowers and an apology, and a real explanation. Good for you! As for the poster's story about Justin - I think I would have been ROYALLY pissed at the girl's parents, too! I didn't ask my mother if I could go to the prom, I just DID. People ask their parents if they can go to the prom? Now, if my group of friends were planning on a trip down the shore afterwards I certainly would have asked permission to go to that, but not the PROM. This girl's parents punished her date just as much as her. Totally crappy IMO.
Jilly Bean Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 I think what he probably meant was that wherever he was, he didn't have your number WITH HIM. But, after you blasted him in the text, I'm not sure why you would ever expect to hear from him again. You never gave him a chance to explain, but slammed the door shut. Nailed it, too. Regardless, I thought you were too busy with massive partying lately to deal with dating and returning guys calls?
Trialbyfire Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 I would be pissed off, regardless if it was a friend or a real date who stood me up. What an inconsiderate bozo. Not only that, his first text to you the next morning wasn't an apology. Apparently, there are people who were born and raised in a barn!
loveslife Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 If he was someplace without your number he should have made an effort to get it. Leaving someone hanging like that is rude. It's weird that he didn't get your number until the next day? Why didn't he call late? And why just a text with a sort of apology? If he wanted to make sure you were still "on the hook" he should have called and offered a real explanation. He should have called when he got home the night before. What IS it with text messages!! I read someplace that people who are emotionally unavailable conduct relationships through text messages. I believe it. Sounds like his word and other people's feelings aren't that important to him. Good thing you found out early. That said, I find calling people names isn't in my best interest. I agree with whoever said there are polite ways to do that which can be a whole lot more effective and harsh. Hmmmm maybe something like, Oh, right. I forgot you were suppose to come. Thanks for the text. Hahahaha Or even something simple like, no worries, had a great time. (And then you never talk to him again.)
EddieN Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 Yeah, you're being irrational. This sort of crap happens all the time. Can't tell you how many times I set something up with a girl only for her not to call/show up, just to make up a lame excuse for it later. I didn't cry all day over it, though. Hell, I usually forgot about her within a day. I'm not saying it isn't a sucky thing to do to someone - it is, but you don't respond like you did. Essentially, what I'm saying is - get over it. You're not the first person this has happened to.
loveslife Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 loveslife: Wow, those are indeed much harsher Why thank you hahah. For me, it always feel much better later on to have been uber-polite in the face of rudeness rather than losing it. I think it goes along the same lines as, don't make someone a priority if they're only making you an option.
zilverenvlinder Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 That's so ****ty. You did not overreact. You did the right thing.
Bermudagirl Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 I would be very pissed if I were stood up on prom night! You have a right to be highly upset!!
WineCountry Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 I probably wouldn't have been brave enough to have sent that kind of text, but I certainly applaud you - you told him you have no patience for someone who doesn't have the decency to follow through with a commitment. Had there been a real emergency and he truly didn't have access to a way to contact you, the gentlemanly thing to do would have been to send flowers and an apology, and a real explanation. Good for you! As for the poster's story about Justin - I think I would have been ROYALLY pissed at the girl's parents, too! I didn't ask my mother if I could go to the prom, I just DID. People ask their parents if they can go to the prom? Now, if my group of friends were planning on a trip down the shore afterwards I certainly would have asked permission to go to that, but not the PROM. This girl's parents punished her date just as much as her. Totally crappy IMO. Are you SERIOUS???? I would NEVER..NEVER have assumed that I could go to my prom, or take it upon myself to just go without asking my parents first! It does not matter that its a 'prom'. It's the fact that I would be leaving the house to go out to an event, REGARDLESS of WHAT event it was. And for THAT, I needed permission. But then, Im 43 years old and grew up with old school parents who actually PARENTED their children. Now adays youngsters do whatever the hell they want to do. They think THEY are the adults. I dont have kids. But if I did, I WISH..WISH my kid would just ASSUME that he could step foot out of my house and just go out to some event without discussing it with me simply because it was his PROM. Yah..ok.
Author mortensorchid Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 Well, this experience showed me why I didn't go to the prom the first time around. Prom is for jocks and mean girls anyway. Now it's fun just to dress up and pretend you're actually going. That night, incidentally, I ended up going out to my watering hole / office and showing up in my full white dress with the halter top, showing off my sweater meat, big haired with a tiara on, and these awesome fake sleeve tattoos I had from Halloween that made me look really, really psycho. Stay home and look this crazy and not share it with anyone?!? HA! Also saw the man I love more than anything but would never tell him that night. He got to stare at my boobs and gave me a wink when I walked in the door. I wish this had happened on my real prom night. Instead I think I just stayed in and watched movies.
Trialbyfire Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Hey, not all proms are created equally! They can be fun, as you've just experienced.
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