jqb05443 Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 People what am i going to do with myself? I broke NC today after I swore to myself that I was going to stick to it. Lasted only 1.5 days..ughh. Any excuse I find I do it. People please tell me how NC is going for you..maybe I can build some courage. I guess its back to Day 1 for me tomorrow
Taucher Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 Ha! I cant give you any inspiration about how you can do NC successfully I am afraid, as I just texted my ex even though I knew it was bad and wrong, I just couldnt help myself. You're not alone. 5 days ago I got a text from my ex, 10 minutes after bumping into her in the street. I didnt reply until about 20 minutes ago. Now, I am worried that she is going to reply. What an idiot I am. T
guitarplayer1234 Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 It's an on and off battle for me, some days I'm fine then other days I just so badly want to call him or text him but I'm trying to remain strong. I'm on Day 22 of NC, I started it immediately the day after he broke up with me. I'm really hoping I don't cave anytime soon because I've come way too far to mess it up now. The thing that helps me to not to contact him is thinking about how badly I'm going to feel afterwards and I don't want to deal with that pain.
Author jqb05443 Posted June 21, 2009 Author Posted June 21, 2009 22 days?? Wow that's amazing. Ok I lasted actually 9 days when we first broke up and then I broke. after that it's been downhill for me. We have been broken up now 2 months and after our last text message exchange on friday when he told me that we both should move on i told myself that's it. i have nothing more to say but just walk away with the little dignity if any that i have left. and damn it i broke already today : (
trustydusty Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 I was on 3+ weeks of NC when i saw her at a show a week ago and she texted me. Since then we have met up, had days where 6-7 hrs of text messages were exchanged, and a few phone calls in between. She dumped me and I must admit I'm confused. Hang in their with the NC though, even a little contact can bring back some of the old hurt.
guitarplayer1234 Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 22 days?? Wow that's amazing. Ok I lasted actually 9 days when we first broke up and then I broke. after that it's been downhill for me. We have been broken up now 2 months and after our last text message exchange on friday when he told me that we both should move on i told myself that's it. i have nothing more to say but just walk away with the little dignity if any that i have left. and damn it i broke already today : ( I'm quite amazed at myself, I'm such an emotional person and I didn't think I would be able to hang in there. He actually sent me a text about 5 days after we broke up asking how I was doing and it took almost everything in me but I resisted the urge to not text back. I know its hard for you but I'm sure you'll be able to fight the urges to contact him too, it's definitely a journey but right now it's really the only thing we can do.
Cora Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 NC is tough! But no you are not a failure! I'm guilty of slipping up from time to time. It has just made me realize that NC really is better. Once I break it the pain starts all over again. I'm trying to be stronger. Just gotta take it day by day I guess.
waitingpatiently Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 I'm on day 58! Trust me it is NOT easy, but from what I hear it really is worth it. My motivation: even if i did talk to him I would NEVER want to get back with him, so what's the point?? I know I can and WILL do so much better with someone in the future who's actually worth my time. Just hang in there! I have to admit I am a WHOLE LOT HAPPIER than I was when I first started off. Of course there's gonna be those tempting days that come and go, but trust me when I say you CAN make it through them. If I can do it, you can do it! good luck!
BoatLord Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 It will get easier in time. I can't even remember the last contact I had that wasn't explicitly to do with our Son. She even texted me "Happy Father's Day" yesterday and I just looked at it and went" pffffff". Doesn't even faze me anymore. We ALL deserve better than what we were dealt. It takes a while to realize it, but once you do, it gets better every day!
boogieboy Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 Put it this way JQB. The trend is...From what is posted on this board, when people keep breaking NC in a situation like yours, they get a ridiculously rude awakening when the dumpee says "Stop calling me! We are DONE, how many times do I have to tell you." So you can call a few more times if this is what you need to hear .....
bluewolf17 Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 BB is right. Eventually, if you keep contacting them, they are going to tell you to knock it off. They might be nice at first, but it will get mean. I have contacted my ex, but I let him contact me. It's LC I guess. But I learned early that things didn't work out well when I contacted him. The conversation would be weird, or he would be rushed. It's better that you not start any contact. Let them call you up. If you want to hear from them at all...
NopeNah Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 I to got the "happy fathers day" text from the ex yesterday. I don't need that from her, thats what my daughter/friends are there for. Also got one from her son...that one hurt like hell!! Crazy chicks!(no offense ladies )
Nikki Sahagin Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 For me it was my ex that kept breaking NC. For me it was pretty easy, because I was so hurt and angry and afraid to reach out to him to feel more. Also I am pretty stubborn and proud, and I think that stops me from contacting him. Anyway I replies to his emails to me and it ended up holding me back at first, but its helped me so much more in the end. We discussed a lot and left the door open for friendship which made me feel it wasn't black and white, case closed, I will be your friend straight away OR we will never see/hear from each other again. Its just; what will be will be. Sometimes you need to break NC for closure, thats why it keeps niggling at you to break it.
RosyDay Posted July 7, 2009 Posted July 7, 2009 Get yourself some gold stars. Every day you go without contacting this person, give yourself a star. Or buy yourself two different colored stars, like silver and gold. Give yourself silver starts. If 7 days has passed and there is no contact, on the 7th day, give yourself a gold star. Good luck.
heatherb16 Posted July 7, 2009 Posted July 7, 2009 Tomorrow will be my 4th full day. The first day I felt very strong. Now I'm starting to feel weak. I'm starting to get the urge that I want him back. I know I need to stop thinking this and stop getting my hopes up, but it is so difficult. I'm still going to continue with it, though, because I know in the long-run it will be better for me. I know my ex is waiting thinking that I'm going to text and give in like I have every other time. I'm sure, by now, he is stunned. That is one thing that makes me giddy Also, whenever I feel like I want to slip up and text him, or I'm dreading my day, I go and text a friend, call them to hang out, or even type up my problem here. Good luck.
ms.stressed Posted July 7, 2009 Posted July 7, 2009 I lasted a full day. In fact I just called him before I got on this site. I have some cash that I owe him and told him that if I do not hear from him I will just assume he does not need it and go shopping. I hate my ex. I think of him as some one who took my innocence and smahsed it with a sledge hammer. Yet, here I am wondering what I ever did wrong. Breaking nc and crying over shattered dreams and broken promises. I really do believe that it will be better in time.
Tradami Posted July 7, 2009 Posted July 7, 2009 It's so hard to do. I'm on day 1. God what a place to start...it hurts so much. I feel fine one moment, strong, determined. And then I get so much urge to call her. It's the worst feeling. Loving someone and them not love you the same. Wanting someone to care about you and they dont. There's not much you can do but bear with it. Your heart is a muscle. And the only way you build muscle, is to first tear it.
BassAddict Posted July 7, 2009 Posted July 7, 2009 It's so hard to do. I'm on day 1. God what a place to start...it hurts so much. I feel fine one moment, strong, determined. And then I get so much urge to call her. It's the worst feeling. Loving someone and them not love you the same. Wanting someone to care about you and they dont. There's not much you can do but bear with it. Your heart is a muscle. And the only way you build muscle, is to first tear it. This is so true. My mother is comming from Washington to stay with me a few months to help me through all of the termoil. As everyone has said, if we dail, text'd, or see them. Back to square one. Why do we have feelings for the one without them?
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