lovebound Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 So I have seen this guy many times before at our community restaurant. We both live in the same community. I always thought he was cute but never thought he was interested so I never paid that much attention, and perhaps exchanged with him few words as we have common friends. Last week at the pool, he started being more attentive and showing interest, got me a drink, even asked me what I was doing later that nite and invited me to his apartment to eat and talk. He has a roomate who invited other people to their apartment, so it ended up being a whole bunch of people and we had no chance to just be one on one talk more privately. I left a couple of hours later and he walked me to my car. He apologized for the fact that he meant for both of us to be able to be alone but his roomate invited other people. So, when I left I asked him if he was in facebook. He said yes so I looked him up and send him an email with my number as he did not have his phone when he walked me to my car and asked him if he would like to do dinner date some other time, which he replied that he agreed, that we should. I ran into him a couple of days later at the restaurant. It was a bit late at nite. He said he was very tired, talked to him a bit, and then he left, he told me that he was sure that he would see me that weekend (his assumption), that he would text. Well, the weekend came again and he did not. I went to the pool with a friend of mine, and there he was with all his friends. This time there was a lot of people at the pool we both know, everyone was there. He was friendly and nice but did not act the same way or as attentive. He was not rude, but he did not approached me as much. Everyone was in the water including me, I tried to talk to him briefly, but we did not talk much, or hung around me that much, there was everyone there. My best friend and I briefly left for an hour to eat. When we returned, he had noticed we were gone but that was it. My friend and I then sat to get sun, he spent the whole time in the water, and did not specifically came out to talk to us. After a while, my friend and I got the conclusion that we should leave, after all it was late and said goodbye and left. All he said was a casual see you later. What gives? I was told by my friends boyfriend that he thought that he liked me in the past, of course I had not noticed, but now that I paid him attention, did I scare him off? What gives? one day he is hinting, and the next acting like any other guy friend? What happened here? I know for a fact he is not dating anyone, and he is single.
torranceshipman Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 Maybe he was looking for a little naughtiness the other night, but wasnt into the serious dating thing?
Author lovebound Posted June 21, 2009 Author Posted June 21, 2009 I guess I can see that by now its pretty clear he was not interested in moving towards a date, otherwise he would have already texted me or asked me out. He goes out a lot with his friends.What bothers me is that I did not give him any signals that one day that I was treating him any different other than being friendly like I always have, and he was the one making all the nice gestures. If he would have not said anything, I would have not brought it up either. I dont know him that well, I wanted to get to know him a bit more and my guy friends always said that he was nice, he seemed nice and funny. Oh well...how dissapointing.
mistieyed Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 there are so many other fish in the sea, don't let it get you down. seems like a bit of casual flirting and/or testing the waters to find out interest.....he could be shy, needed an ego boost, or was contemplating hanging out but his lack of response during your last pool visit would make me think he is not going to attempt to move forward....hope I am wrong, best of luck to you.
Author lovebound Posted June 21, 2009 Author Posted June 21, 2009 Well, I will probably most likely run into him again sooner or later, we live in the same community, and we all go to the same pools, gym, bars, etc. I guess I just act as usual, time will tell if he is just shy or not, but I think it is pretty clear that he could at least have texted me to come to the pool with everyone, if he wanted me there. However, some of my friends said that I scared him away when I followed up with the e-mail saying to get together again. They said I should play hard to get, smile at him and be nice, but keep my distance and see what he does? Any thoughts?
torranceshipman Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 The world has gone mad if your simple expression of interest - 'do you want to get together' email scared him away. That's just you being honest and telling him in a nice way that you're interested. That's what you should have done so don't feel bad. I've no idea why he didn't respond but from now on I guess you need to forget about him as a romantic interest and treat him as you would any other friend. Who knows. he might ask you out eventually but let hi pursue you now...
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