loser101 Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 sorry, that was strong. some women buy into the sisterhood thing because they simply lack imagination
Trialbyfire Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 it is a pretty common fact in my opinion that people - whether men or women - usually view the opposite sex more leniently than their own. this has nothing to do with competition and everything has to do with understanding how your own gender thinks. ie men warning their female friends of other men, not because (or not ONLY because) they want to compete with other men and get into those female friends' pants but because they are aware of the darkness of the male psyche same for women: many of us see our own sex as reliant on men, use their sexuality as a weapon in the mistaken belief that they will be able to keep their man that way (lots of rubbish, he either likes you or he doesn't) and often rather boring (the reason why men don't stick around, even if you withhold sex). if you break away from the sisterhood, there will be a lot of women that won't like you for that. fact. that doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you, you just recognise the weaknesses in your gender and the manipulation that goes with that weakness. like it or not, these are facts. any woman that buys into the sisterhood only does so because she thinks would be lonely otherwise - ie not strong enough.That's a frightening attitude, to dislike and distrust enmasse, especially when it comes to your own gender. Like I said, the entire attitude lacks respect for women and is based on insecurity. You've yet to convince me otherwise. If anything, you've just qualified my theory.
loser101 Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 well I'm not surprised by your response. let me know when you are prepared to think about other people's views rather than just type up a response that you believe your society expects from you.
Trialbyfire Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 loser, you don't know me very well, if you believe that! Anyways, carry on with your attitude. I'm sure it's doing you a lot of good and making you very happy!
RunawayTrain Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 Well. I certainly would not want to date a bitch. However I think when describing the term bitch the actual definition may vary and one's own defintion is relative. There is nothing wrong with a woman who is strong minded and believes and stand up to her own morals and beliefs however I wouldn't want to date a woman who is outright cynical, condescending, anti-male, and constantly pissed off at the world.
shadowplay Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Actually, that post is less than excellent. It says a lot about the poster's lack of respect for women in general. I would opine that any woman who can't get along with other women has major issues and is actually not strong but insecure, since she views all women as competition, instead of as potential friends. I don't fully agree. I don't tend to befriend women anymore, and it's not because I view them as competition. It's because I was burned multiple times in the past by women whom I was friends with. In all cases, I was friends with a group of girls who ended up suddenly not talking to me and ignoring me without ever explaining to me why. Also, in all cases I was primarily friends with one girl in the group, at first she thought the other girls were being catty and she wouldn't go along with them, then she ended up betraying me as well because she didn't want the rest of the group to reject her. Fact is I've never had a female friend who was there for me, through thick and thin. They always ended up caving to what other people thought. And no, it wasn't my fault that this happened. I was always nice and didn't cause drama, maybe too nice. I think the fact that I was unassuming, quiet and attractive made me an easy target.
Author ON MY OWN Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 Well. I certainly would not want to date a bitch. However I think when describing the term bitch the actual definition may vary and one's own defintion is relative. There is nothing wrong with a woman who is strong minded and believes and stand up to her own morals and beliefs however I wouldn't want to date a woman who is outright cynical, condescending, anti-male, and constantly pissed off at the world. Ok, I am back on the dating scene, after me and my fiance broke up 3 months back. I am playing it differently now. I am nice, but not as sickening nice as I was before. I was always very nice, and sometimes I think ppl tend to take advantage of that. Dont get me wrong, I will stand up for myself if I need to. I have 2 men that I have been talking to and they seem to eat it up when I am not calling or they text and I dont get back always. They seem to want to chase or something. I am happy with myself and not mad at the world or anything, just an observation I have been making about the opposite sex lately. They seem to like that kind of stuff. The whole "nice" thing has not fully worked for me. To a point it has, but it always seems to bite me in the butt in the end. I am not changing who I am, however if thats what guys like that can definitely be arranged. Thanks:D 1
2sure Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 it is a pretty common fact in my opinion that people - LOSER - You didn't use any facts. lol. You have your own opinions which to me seem to be based on the insecurities felt by the young and immature of either gender. Your opinions are valid , they are based on your perceptions and experiences. lol. They aren't FACTS.
You'reasian Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Actually, that post is less than excellent. It says a lot about the poster's lack of respect for women in general. I would opine that any woman who can't get along with other women has major issues and is actually not strong but insecure, since she views all women as competition, instead of as potential friends. I like women who like men. I'd expect my post to be less than popular with feminist types - but more popular with strong, independent women who take care of themselves whether they prefer guys or girls as friends. Whether they get along with other women or not is their choice to determine and not someone elses to dictate 1
Trialbyfire Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 I like women who like men. I'd expect my post to be less than popular with feminist types - but more popular with strong, independent women who take care of themselves whether they prefer guys or girls as friends. Whether they get along with other women or not is their choice to determine and not someone elses to dictate Good attempt to manipulate and dodge but it doesn't fly with me. I've thrown down the b/s flag and it stays down.
Star Gazer Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Actually, that post is less than excellent. It says a lot about the poster's lack of respect for women in general. I would opine that any woman who can't get along with other women has major issues and is actually not strong but insecure, since she views all women as competition, instead of as potential friends. I totally agree. I find that women who can't get along with other women and lack female friends are the same women who nit pick every detail of a woman's appearance.
Island Girl Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Actually, that post is less than excellent. It says a lot about the poster's lack of respect for women in general. I would opine that any woman who can't get along with other women has major issues and is actually not strong but insecure, since she views all women as competition, instead of as potential friends. I agree TBF. However, as we all know we must pick and choose our friends. This is true of either sex though. I get along with women in general. And I would be friends with a lot of them. With age comes the ability to spot the drama queens, the sleaze balls, the back stabbers, etc. it is a pretty common fact in my opinion that people - whether men or women - usually view the opposite sex more leniently than their own. this has nothing to do with competition and everything has to do with understanding how your own gender thinks. Not fact at all. Your opinion yes. And wrong as far as my experience has shown. I have a pretty good understanding of how both genders think. And I am not easier on one than the other nor are any women I know. ie men warning their female friends of other men, not because (or not ONLY because) they want to compete with other men and get into those female friends' pants but because they are aware of the darkness of the male psyche Ooooo. There's darkness in the male psyche?!! Really. Okay, well, then I would venture to say the same could be said for women if we want to throw around generalizations and stereotypes instead of actual data. same for women: many of us see our own sex as reliant on men, use their sexuality as a weapon in the mistaken belief that they will be able to keep their man that way (lots of rubbish, he either likes you or he doesn't) and often rather boring (the reason why men don't stick around, even if you withhold sex). I am not in the same category of women that you see yourself in. There are misguided women to be sure. Those you have described here along with those from the other end of the spectrum who see themselves as powerless, weak, etc. and everything in between sweetie. if you break away from the sisterhood, there will be a lot of women that won't like you for that. fact. that doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you, you just recognise the weaknesses in your gender and the manipulation that goes with that weakness. What sisterhood? The sisterhood of the misguided? I am well like by women. But I am a strong woman to be sure. It is like a magnet actually and I am sought after by other women who seem to need a true sounding board and borrow my strength on a regular basis. like it or not, these are facts. Not at all actually. any woman that buys into the sisterhood only does so because she thinks would be lonely otherwise - ie not strong enough. This is laugh out loud funny. I wonder how many women you have known in your lifetime from various age groups. We all truly have more similarities than differences. That's a frightening attitude, to dislike and distrust enmasse, especially when it comes to your own gender. Like I said, the entire attitude lacks respect for women and is based on insecurity. You've yet to convince me otherwise. If anything, you've just qualified my theory. I know TBF. I would have to agree. Fact is I've never had a female friend who was there for me, through thick and thin. They are few and far between. But they are out there. In a lifetime you may discover only a few but you pick them up along the way. I have three. One I have known for over 20 years. One I have known for 12 years. And another I have known for 7 years. It is the same in either gender. It is difficult to find true friends that stick around and really are friends in every sense of the word. The examples you spoke of happened more in my younger years. I don't meet many of those people now. Most have matured past that point. LOSER - You didn't use any facts. lol. You have your own opinions which to me seem to be based on the insecurities felt by the young and immature of either gender. Your opinions are valid , they are based on your perceptions and experiences. lol. They aren't FACTS. Again, I have to agree 2sure. No facts and opinions based perhaps on limited experience...? That is the only reason I can see.
anne1707 Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 I totally agree. I find that women who can't get along with other women and lack female friends are the same women who nit pick every detail of a woman's appearance. This is such a generalisation. I get on better with men - whether inside or outside work. At work especially they are generally far less involved in game playing, less manipulative and more confident. But I do not make a habit of criticising women whether based on ability, intelligence, looks - no more than I would a man. On more than one occasion, I have approached a woman on the street to compliment her on her look.
clv0116 Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Okay, well, then I would venture to say the same could be said for women if we want to throw around generalizations and stereotypes instead of actual data. She(he?) actually said that, I think the point was that in general a person of the same gender will tend to have more insight than a person of the opposite gender when it comes to motives and the deep internal workings of another. I can't disagree.
Island Girl Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 She(he?) actually said that, I think the point was that in general a person of the same gender will tend to have more insight than a person of the opposite gender when it comes to motives and the deep internal workings of another. I can't disagree. You missed the point. *sigh*
Star Gazer Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 This is such a generalisation. I get on better with men - whether inside or outside work. At work especially they are generally far less involved in game playing, less manipulative and more confident. I agree with you there. I too get along better with men. However, getting along better with men, is different than being completely unable to have or maintain female friendships. See what I mean? But I do not make a habit of criticising women whether based on ability, intelligence, looks - no more than I would a man. That's what I mean though. Women who are unable to have/maintain female friendships are the women who DO make a point of picking other women apart. "Her eyes are too close together, and her nose is 1mm too wide at the bridge, and her hair should be one shade lighter, and I'm smarter and more interesting and have prettier fingernails than she does." I've literally heard and seen comments like this, even from women on this LS, from women who seem perplexed about why they're unable to make and keep female friends. On more than one occasion, I have approached a woman on the street to compliment her on her look. I do that too, and usually ask her where she got her outfit/bag/hair done.
loser101 Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 You missed the point. *sigh* No, you, TBF and 2sure missed the point of my post. All 3 of you had emotional responses rather than rational responses. You and TBF got personal. I don't mind since you don't know me but it demonstrates that neither of you think things through.
anne1707 Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Ok SG we do agree then. You have just reminded me that I need to go to Faith and look for a pair of shoes I admired....
clv0116 Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 You missed the point. *sigh* Did I? .... in my opinion that people ... usually view the opposite sex more leniently .... this has ... to do with ... understanding how your own gender thinks. I eliminated a lot of double negatives and roundabouts but I think the central thought is well expressed.
Island Girl Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 No, you, TBF and 2sure missed the point of my post. All 3 of you had emotional responses rather than rational responses. You and TBF got personal. I don't mind since you don't know me but it demonstrates that neither of you think things through. I know that I didn't miss your point. I got it entirely. I just know in my personal experience that you are wrong. I used to believe as you do decades ago when I too had little knowledge of the other women out there - mainly in their 30's, 40's, 50's and older. You generalizations about "women" are based on a smaller age group - I'd venture to say the 20's early 30's. That is not the majority of women at all but a very small margin of them. ** You stated that your assumptions were facts. I'll wait for that research data to be posted. If it appears I will gladly apologize and acknowledge that my own personal experience is an exception. ** As far as "getting personal", I am not the one here telling those that are not like minded only have a differing view because they are responding irrationally. And for the record loser, I am not responding out of emotion or what society expects me to say. As I have stated I am drawing from my personal experience and the experiences of women I know very well. It appears TBF and 2sure have similar experiences too.
Trialbyfire Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 I don't fully agree. I don't tend to befriend women anymore, and it's not because I view them as competition.I think you're being disingenuous about this. You're highly competitive. That's a fact. It's because I was burned multiple times in the past by women whom I was friends with. In all cases, I was friends with a group of girls who ended up suddenly not talking to me and ignoring me without ever explaining to me why. Also, in all cases I was primarily friends with one girl in the group, at first she thought the other girls were being catty and she wouldn't go along with them, then she ended up betraying me as well because she didn't want the rest of the group to reject her. Fact is I've never had a female friend who was there for me, through thick and thin. They always ended up caving to what other people thought. And no, it wasn't my fault that this happened. I was always nice and didn't cause drama, maybe too nice. I think the fact that I was unassuming, quiet and attractive made me an easy target.While I think it's sad that you had this experience, I also think that you're barking up the wrong tree as to why, in each and every case, you were specifically targeted. One thing's for certain. Being unassuming, quiet and attractive doesn't cause female friends to wander off. If anything, it's advantageous for many reasons.
Trialbyfire Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 No, you, TBF and 2sure missed the point of my post. All 3 of you had emotional responses rather than rational responses. You and TBF got personal. I don't mind since you don't know me but it demonstrates that neither of you think things through.No, I read them loud and clear and came to a rational decision. What's irrational is to blanket dislike either gender and worse yet, that you can only see the negatives in your own gender. Do some serious internal analysis and if you're not in denial, you'll find out why. Hint, start with your relationship with your mother.
Trialbyfire Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 Both genders bring both positives and negatives to the table. It's up to the individual to value it all and gauge by individual v. irrational blanket dislike based on assumptions, particularly of one's own gender. It appears that IG, SG and 2s, understand what I mean. There are positives with female friendships that men will never understand. Same goes with man on man friendships ( that sounds so wrong). Overall, if you solely fixate on the negatives of one gender, you're not being terribly realistic.
Isolde Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 While I think it's sad that you had this experience, I also think that you're barking up the wrong tree as to why, in each and every case, you were specifically targeted. One thing's for certain. Being unassuming, quiet and attractive doesn't cause female friends to wander off. If anything, it's advantageous for many reasons. I have to say TBF's right. Shadowplay, female friendships aren't that different from male. You get what you bring to the table, especially if we're talking about someone reasonably similar to you, with compatible values. Perhaps you just need to find those people. Or maybe people misinterpret signals you send out.
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