ON MY OWN Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 We all know about the theory of women liking a "bad boy" type and nice guys finish last. Do men think they legitimately want a "nice" woman or do they prefer a little b$t$h mixed in there? Lets hear the truth about this. Dont hold back.
boogieboy Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 Ive never met a woman who was too nice to be attracted to. I dont think the womans equivalent of too nice works that way with guys.
Island Girl Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 I wish more guys would chime in here. One of my best friends is the nicest person you'd ever want to meet. She just beams goodness. I, while being a good person and nice (especially in later years) am a B*tch. My brother's friends call me the "Little Dictator" so that should give you a good handle on it. We are both attractive and I'd say we're even on that scale. My friend has dated and had boyfriends but always with long dry spells. She has remarked that I have always had a date if I wanted one and men stood in line to be my boyfriend. (I did always have back ups - but I attributed that to my decisions not the guys.) She thinks it is because of the b*tch aspect. I wonder. Guys?
Woggle Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 No self respecting man would ever be attracted to a b*tch. You will never get a man worth having who you are actually attracted to being one. It will always be lame doormats with no self respect lining up to date you. When you get yourself involved with a woman like this there is nonstop drama and no man with his head screwed on straight wants to deal with that everyday.
Island Girl Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 No self respecting man would ever be attracted to a b*tch. You will never get a man worth having who you are actually attracted to being one. It will always be lame doormats with no self respect lining up to date you. When you get yourself involved with a woman like this there is nonstop drama and no man with his head screwed on straight wants to deal with that everyday. Wrong Woggle. So wrong. My husband is no doormat -- but I do think that is why I married him and adore the crap out of him. Every other guy did turn into a doormat but him. And he still isn't. He has no problem being a strong man which I completely admire. He doesn't cave and agree to anything and everything as others have either. Maybe it has to do with who he was prior to meeting me?? So there are men out there who maintain being a man with a backbone. And they are perfect for us. :love:
Woggle Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 Wrong Woggle. So wrong. My husband is no doormat -- but I do think that is why I married him and adore the crap out of him. Every other guy did turn into a doormat but him. And he still isn't. He has no problem being a strong man which I completely admire. He doesn't cave and agree to anything and everything as others have either. Maybe it has to do with who he was prior to meeting me?? So there are men out there who maintain being a man with a backbone. And they are perfect for us. :love: If you are like you say you are eventually this marriage will eventually fail. No man with self respect will want to subject himself to being treated like garbage for a long period of time. Either he will cave and you will lose respect for him or you and him will constantly be at odds which might turn some women on but will make most men want some peace and quiet for once.
Island Girl Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 If you are like you say you are eventually this marriage will eventually fail. No man with self respect will want to subject himself to being treated like garbage for a long period of time. Either he will cave and you will lose respect for him or you and him will constantly be at odds which might turn some women on but will make most men want some peace and quiet for once. HOLD ON there Woggle. Who said I treat him like garbage?!! I do not. I have the utmost respect for him and would never treat him like garbage or a weak spineless whipping post. He is anything BUT. Do not put words in my mouth my friend.
Woggle Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 HOLD ON there Woggle. Who said I treat him like garbage?!! I do not. I have the utmost respect for him and would never treat him like garbage or a weak spineless whipping post. He is anything BUT. Do not put words in my mouth my friend. You described yourself as somebody who does not treat men well. Maybe you are different than how it read on screen but a woman such as what you described would not last long with a real man.
Island Girl Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 You described yourself as somebody who does not treat men well. Maybe you are different than how it read on screen but a woman such as what you described would not last long with a real man. Until him Woggle. Until him. And the difference is he IS a real man. He can stand alone just as easily as he can stand with me. He can walk away and would if I gave him reason to. Same on my side. Two very strong people together. For the record -- He is my KING in every sense of that word. And he treats me like a Queen. He just knows the difference between treating someone well and completely losing yourself, your spine, your opinion, your dignity, etc. And yes, I am different now (with him) than I was in my dating life but only because of him. I think it takes a real man to handle a strong woman - and therein lies the problem. Not many of them around in my day -- and even less it seems now... Any WAY -- back to the original topic. No more threadjacking
xXMarlboro_ManXx Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 We all know about the theory of women liking a "bad boy" type and nice guys finish last. Do men think they legitimately want a "nice" woman or do they prefer a little b$t$h mixed in there? Lets hear the truth about this. Dont hold back. I would never want a girl that was too bitchy. For me the nicer they are as a person the better. A girl that doesn't take **** from other guys is fine but when a girl talks trash about another girl to me it is a huge turnoff.
MissHollywood Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 I would never want a girl that was too bitchy. For me the nicer they are as a person the better. A girl that doesn't take **** from other guys is fine but when a girl talks trash about another girl to me it is a huge turnoff. As what Marlboro Man said, I think it should be summed up as assertive but not bitchy, nice but not a doormat.
collegekid491 Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 I don't think a females biological cycle allows them to be nice 100% of the time lol. I think most guys don't want a b!tch or a pushover, falling somewhere in between is perfect. I recognize the fact sometimes a girl has to be a b!tch in certain situations, but if they are the majority of the time they are just abusing it, same with pushover's.
carhill Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 Well, I'll just say it's a positive experience to come home and catch a break from dealing with all the ahole men in the world. What man wants to face an overbearing wife when he gets home? A thick-skinned (either genetically or sociologically) being he must be. Thanks, but no
Ariadne Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 We all know about the theory of women liking a "bad boy" type and nice guys finish last. Do men think they legitimately want a "nice" woman or do they prefer a little b$t$h mixed in there? Lets hear the truth about this. Dont hold back. Men say that they don't want bitches, and they don't. They want a nice girl.. But they always, inevitably, end up falling for the bitch (for lack of a better word). What they want is to have good good sex with her (exciting), and then she can be a bitch with everyone else but him (she loves him). It doesn't work that way.. The bitch is going to be a bitch to everybody, especially them.
Isolde Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 I think it takes a real man to handle a strong woman - and therein lies the problem. Not many of them around in my day -- and even less it seems now... I absolutely agree with this. This doesn't have anything to do with being "bxtchy," you can be a strong woman and be generally conventionally "nice," hence, a strong man is always the best match for a strong woman. This being said, though, there's a difference between being gracious and polite and overdoing the nice aspect around all men. For example, there's no need to be overly nice to guys that are flirting with you that you don't like. And there's no need to put on a smiley mask and hide your true self. Those two examples are things that could turn guys off, that have nothing to do with actually being a good person.
Isolde Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 One more thing: as a woman, I'm attracted to guys that radiate goodness, as long as there's some depth in there as well to keep him interesting. I don't understand attraction to the bad boy, hence, I don't understand why men would want the bad girl. FWIW, my mom before her marriage was nice... way nicer than I've ever been even... and she was MUCH sought after, way more than I've ever been.
Ariadne Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 anything to do with being "bxtchy," a strong woman... generally conventionally "nice," Being a bitch has nothing to do with being strong, it's the opposite actually. (A mark of desperation and being out of control) But people like to translate bitch to strong.
Sweetcheripie Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 I think it changes with age. The girls my teenage son and his friends like are definitely the bitches. Makes me want to pull my hair out. My son's girlfriend happens to be the Queen Bee Bitch and he is SO head over heels. But the men I know prefer a nice woman. Nice - not meaning push over - but genuinely kind and compassionate wins over the selfish and catty.
Eleventy Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 I would say it's a function of confidence. Bitchy women tend to be very forward and aggressive with what they want. They like to have some degree of control. Confidence is attractive in either sex, but sometimes being incompatible here is a bad thing. If you're not as confident as the girl is, you'll likely end up putting too much blame on yourself, or she may walk all over you because you are not setting any boundaries up for yourself while worrying too much about hers. Now, being strong and aggressive with your boundaries and desires doesn't mean you are cruel, but the traits tend to be correlated. Once a bitchy person meets another person with strong confidence, the "bitch" factor may wane a bit because the dude actually has a spine and won't tolerate being walked on. This is confidence on his part and is, again, attractive, hence the better behavior on the girl's part. Two people who lack confidence may be good for each other because they can both learn to establish a boundary set while still respecting each other's. It's also a way for both of them to build confidence together without one trying to overtake the other. In other words, it's best to be compatible. Strong people need strong people.
nomoregummybears Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 I would say it's a function of confidence. Bitchy women tend to be very forward and aggressive with what they want. They like to have some degree of control. Confidence is attractive in either sex, but sometimes being incompatible here is a bad thing. If you're not as confident as the girl is, you'll likely end up putting too much blame on yourself, or she may walk all over you because you are not setting any boundaries up for yourself while worrying too much about hers. Now, being strong and aggressive with your boundaries and desires doesn't mean you are cruel, but the traits tend to be correlated. Once a bitchy person meets another person with strong confidence, the "bitch" factor may wane a bit because the dude actually has a spine and won't tolerate being walked on. This is confidence on his part and is, again, attractive, hence the better behavior on the girl's part. Two people who lack confidence may be good for each other because they can both learn to establish a boundary set while still respecting each other's. It's also a way for both of them to build confidence together without one trying to overtake the other. In other words, it's best to be compatible. Strong people need strong people. Completely agree. Sometimes, being a bitch is just side effect of being obnoxiously confident with yourself. When used in moderation and at the right times, bitchiness can be an asset to a girl's arsenal of attracting men. Guys who get involved with these kind of women just have to make sure they have the spine to handle it gracefully, which thereby displays confidence to the woman and attracts him to her.
GoodOnPaper Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 Two people who lack confidence may be good for each other because they can both learn to establish a boundary set while still respecting each other's. It's also a way for both of them to build confidence together without one trying to overtake the other. No. The nice guy/nice girl pairing looks good on paper, but if my marriage is a typical example, it's not a healthy thing. When both partners find it most natural to avoid issues and conflicts, the wrong kind of boundaries are set. About the OP, I consider the nice girl/good sex combination to be ideal, and I doubt that that's unusual. However, it's easy to assume that what you see on the surface is what you get in the bedroom, so just as in bad boy/nice guy theory, nice girl = boring and b$t$h = exciting. However, I think the dynamics play out a little differently because of who pursues and who is pursued. Conventional wisdom is that "nice guys" like myself have to overhaul their personality and lifestyles to integrate some "edge", but I don't think women need to take that approach. Personally, I don't find any b$t$h component in a woman attractive whatsoever. However, signs of interest and/or reciprocated attention are attractive -- "nice girls" just need to play those up a little.
Ariadne Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 it's easy to assume that what you see on the surface is what you get in the bedroom nice girl = boring and b$t$h = exciting Is more like the bitch triggers a response in men where they want to "tame her" or "dominate that bitch." Something like that.. And then they justify everything she does, as they've seen the good side of her, sometimes she's nice, she got upset at me, etc etc.
Trialbyfire Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 People with no boundaries, aren't nice people. They're just weak. As for bitch v. "nice girl", there's a bitch and softer side, in every woman. Action creates reaction.
Sam Spade Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 There is no such thing as a girl that is 'too nice', and it is certainly a very, very attractive quality. Conversely, there is nothing attractive in bitchy attitude.. Also, that sex with nice girls ain't good is a myth . (My gf is even nicer than the stereotypically 'nice', but she's beginning to wave her freak flag in my bedroom; sure, it took a couple of months, but that's not the point). Finally, that it takes a strong guy to handle a strong woman is a pretty shaky statement. At least it really depends on what is meant by 'strong'. I'm a pretty strong guy, yet I certainly don't want a woman that requires any "handling" what-so-ever. That would mean that she doesn't have my back. But of course she has to be strong in a sense of being able to deal with life crises. In that sense, some of the strongest women I've seen are the nicest, quietest ones that you wouldn't think much of but are truly a solid pillar for their family. Not to be confused, for example, with seemingly strong carrierist wacko type, that would cry like a rotten child the second she doesn't get what she thinks she deserves . Strenght is an inner character quality, not an attitude or an 'accessory'
Thornton Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 I don't think men necessarily like bitches. However, neither do they like doormats, or boring girls with no confidence and charisma. You can be a nice girl but still be a little bit naughty, nice enough to date but just naughty enough to keep his interest. By naughty I don't mean you should be bitchy or nasty; you should be nice but just a little flirtatious and sexy, let him look after you but still be assertive and independent, be a good girl but still be open minded and adventurous. That combination of vanilla with a streak of chocolate is what really gets men going in my experience.
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