Cora Posted June 20, 2009 Posted June 20, 2009 I can't believe I broke down and did something I said I was not going to do. It was a weak moment on my part. I haven't heard from the guy I have been talking about on here since Sunday which is when I saw him. I really wanted to have a talk with him about the way things were and how I did not want to just meet up with him for sex which is basically what this was turning into. Now it looks as if he has lost all interest in seeing me at all and even talking to me anymore. After we see each other he usually does not contact me....I'm always usually the one initiating with him first. Once I initiate that first conversation after a date he usually initiates from then on. I'm not sure why he does this. Anyway, he came online Thursday and stayed on for about five minutes like he was almost waiting around for me to say something. I did not and I wanted him to say something first this time if he was going to at all. Today he comes online again but I was invisible and then he signs right back off again. I'm not sure what the hell he is doing. When I left his place Sunday he said I'll talk to you later on Yahoo. Well he hasn't. Today I foolishly send him a text just saying "hey how are you? Hope you have a good weekend." I guess I got my answer because he never responded. He has never not responded before so I'm guessing for some reason he no longer wants to see me anyway.....whether it be for sex or an actual date. I don't know why I even care really. I know he treated me like shyt but damn I wanted the last say. I'm not sure what happened because he really seemed to enjoy himself on Sunday and it ended great....goodbye kiss and everything. It wasn't suppose to end like this. I wanted to be more in control but instead I was weak and texted him. Ughh I feel so damn stupid!
DarkestDreams Posted June 20, 2009 Posted June 20, 2009 Oh, Cora..what am I going to do with you? I know that feeling, when you want to have the last word and it's just not happening. His lack of reply should be the last drop, honestly! Don't contact him anymore, I'm begging you! You know that saying "When you find yourself in a hole, the first thing you need to do is stop digging"?...Remove all traces of him from yahoo/msn/phone/your life and start NC. This is done, you HAVE to move on! I know it hurts, but it'll pass, that much I can promise you, my dear.
dreamergrl Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 Cora! I agree with DD. Do not contact anymore. He will get the hint. Take it from a girl who does the same thing you do!
mortensorchid Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 Don't contact him anymore, Cora. He's just not as interested as you are. And you'll get over it someday even though it doesn't feel like you will right now, but you will. Promise.
rachel m Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 BTDT. Burned the bridge and never looked back. I'm starting to think you've got yourself entangled with a carbon-copy of that guy I mentioned in your other thread! Step 1 : block and delete. Nope. No ifs and buts. Once you're over this dweeb, you will never regret having lost his number. Step 2 : pat yourself on the back for recognizing a bad situation and having the strenght to end it. Step 3 : hit the town with the girls. Sure, Step 4 is nursing a hangover while dealing with pangs of regrets and what ifs, but no worries because Step 5, tell yourself that will pass. And the anxiety and unnecessary stress this man is causing you will soon be over.
loveslife Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 Oh Cora, please don't beat yourself up about this. He's the one who should feel embarrassed, not you. I know how it feels to want to have the last word. I have been there many times. After a while it won't matter. Tell yourself, okay, okay, he can have the last word. ALLOW him to have the last word. Feel good about being the bigger one. It's okay. I promise. One day you will know for certain that it's all be his loss.
Author Cora Posted June 21, 2009 Author Posted June 21, 2009 Thanks guys! I guess the reason why I feel so bad is because I held off with the contact for so long(6 days is good for me)....I was doing so good until I slipped up today. In the back of my mind I knew he would be contacting me eventually because he usually always would. This time he did not and he didn't even respond when I sent him a text....another first. I guess it's just all the disappointment from realizing it's REALLY over this time...THE END! I find myself thinking back on what happened that could of caused him not to want to talk to me anymore? I know it doesn't matter. I'm just like that. When something goes wrong I feel as if I have to figure it out whether it does any good or not. Why do I even care about a jerk? I don't get it. But yeah it is frustrating that I didn't get my say. Oh well I know...gotta be the bigger person. Thanks again!
Lucky_One Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 Now, after 6 days, if he HAD texted you back within, say, an hour, would you forgive him for not contacting you? And what are you going to do if he contacts you on Tuesday or Wednesday? Answer him?
dreamergrl Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 Now, after 6 days, if he HAD texted you back within, say, an hour, would you forgive him for not contacting you? And what are you going to do if he contacts you on Tuesday or Wednesday? Answer him? Ooo OOoo I know the answer! *Raises Hand* "No" Again, I'm speaking from recent experience! Cora, it's not worth it, it really isn't. Pull away now! Remember when I was going through this before my sabbatical?? Next thing I know I'm getting the guy flaunting his 'over night girlfriend' that he is madly in love with shoved in my face? I'm just saying, it's not worth the aching feeling!
Author Cora Posted June 21, 2009 Author Posted June 21, 2009 No, I don't think I will hear from him again. I was only hoping I would so I could say my piece. I don't know why it matters. Guess there really isn't any point now. I'm just sick of being played. It sucks and it hurts! I just don't want to deal with it anymore. I hate it that it seems to be normal these days for people to just not talk to you and disappear when they are not interested. I wish they could tell you to your face and be honest. But what am I saying? Why would I expect any less from this guy? It just sucks. Sorry I'm taking it so hard guys....I know how foolish it sounds. I'm just being a baby about it.
alphamale Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 I wanted to be more in control but instead I was weak and texted him. Ughh I feel so damn stupid! so what? its a dumb text and means nothing in the grand scheme of life. there are other fish in teh sea... all things must be put into perspective Cora I wish they could tell you to your face and be honest. no one wants to hear the truth
Author Cora Posted June 21, 2009 Author Posted June 21, 2009 Whatever the case may be I just need to get over it. Don't know why it's so damn hard for me. I can't even sleep tonight....I'm just hurt, confused, frustrated blah! I hate these feelings.
BlueEyedGirl Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 no one wants to hear the truth This is true. Like that line form "A few good men". "You want the truth?" "Yes" "You can't handle the truth!" Truth is usually way harsher than what you think. Delete his number so you don't get tempted to text again. Block and delete from your IM too. That's what I do. And that text is nothing so don't stress. You should see some nasty and angry texts I have sent to various jerks
rachel m Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 I hate it that it seems to be normal these days for people to just not talk to you and disappear when they are not interested. I wish they could tell you to your face and be honest. But what am I saying? Why would I expect any less from this guy? It just sucks. Sorry I'm taking it so hard guys....I know how foolish it sounds. I'm just being a baby about it. Don't beat yourself up Cora. It's normal to take it hard and to feel hurt after the end of any relationship. He treated you so poorly that your head is probably spinning. Re: what you said about it seeing normal these days for people to just disappear. The trick is to find ways to weed guys out before getting attached to them. The best way I found is to be upfront about what I want and how I feel. I'm far from being psycho, so why would I worry about scaring men away? The guys who didn't want something serious did scare away but that has left me free to meet someone who wants the same things I do.
moman Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 Whatever the case may be I just need to get over it. Don't know why it's so damn hard for me. I can't even sleep tonight....I'm just hurt, confused, frustrated blah! I hate these feelings. Unless I have you confused with someone else, he's your "first" man. That's why it's so difficult to get over, we are conditioned to believe in these fairy tale endings and that other people are always honest but it's not the case. And it's not your fault that he's the way he is....it's emotions, dear. I'm sure you're a real sweetheart so just drop this guy like the waste he is, get your self-pride back and you'll soon find someone else. You will win if you don't let him affect you. Win!
Lindarose84 Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 Aww Cora, I wish you had remained strong and not contacted this guy! You were doing so well going as long as 6 days and then...bam. That's ok though. We all have our moments of weakness. But seriously, you need to learn from this. Take the pain you're feeling now, and store it. Because when he contacts you again (and I promise you- he will with some lame excuse as to why he hasn't contacted you or returned your text like his dog ate his phone or some sh&t), you need to take the pain out of storage and remember why it is that he is not good for you! You need to associate him and his voice with feelings of hurt, resentfulness, and anger. It works- trust me. It pains me to see women in such positions of weakness- almost like victims. It's just the way we're wired, ya know? But you can evolve past that. You do that through your actions. It's your actions that dicate how a man is supposed to treat you. You need to move on from this jerk with the pattern of behavior he is exhibiting towards you. If, at this point, he contacts you and you respond or go to him, he will know that it is ok to walk all over you because you let him get away with it. STOP THAT. While it sucks not to get your last say in, in this situation you need to forget about doing that because you're still weak with this guy. Any contact you have with him (whether it be to yell at him or whatever) he will use it as an opportunity to throw fake lines your way to butter you up. And you'll fall for it. You need time to heal. To get over this guy. Maybe after a month or so of NC, if you feel like you want to get your last word in then you can do it. But not now. Block him on yahoo/aim. De-friend him on FB. Erase/Block his number on your phone. NOW. You need zero contact with him to be able to move on with your life. It'll be tough especially since he was your first. But you're strong enough to move past this all and get YOUR LIFE back. The sooner the better.
Author Cora Posted June 21, 2009 Author Posted June 21, 2009 Thanks all! I will be okay....it's just hard. For the past few days he has been popping on to Yahoo messenger and then popping righ back off. I'm not sure why he is playing these games and being such a coward by not talking to me? I don't speak to him when he comes online. He couldn't even answer my text from yesterday. Anyway, today I have since deleted him from messenger and my phone. I can't take this anymore. I hope he had a good time and if his main goal was to hurt me then he succeeded. Yes, the truth hurts but it hurts a lot more to be lied to and ignored. Oh well, I knew the risks going into it and I knew this could very well happen but I chose to go along with it anyway. I told myself I wasn't going to get too caught up with him and overly attached but somewhere along the way it just happened and I felt I was no longer in control. I haven't dated very many guys but out of the few I have there was only one who was honest and told me straight up to my face that "this just wasn't going to work out and I will never see you as anymore than just a friend ever." Thos words cut deeply and I was hurt but I will always have so much respect for him. That was over a year ago and we still keep in touch every now and then. I just wish more guys could be like him and say what they feel. Jeeze...I get way too emotional over these things!
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