daileyburgboy Posted June 20, 2009 Posted June 20, 2009 I will make this as short as possibly but here goes. In early Jan. I was given the ultimatum by my ex. We had been together for 12 years. She in her 40's said she wasn't happy and tired of not feeling like she mattered and that she wanted me (late 30's) to leave. I was completely blindside. Well I did all the wrong things, unfortunaltely. About 7 weeks later and still together, she finally told me that there was another man. I left 20 minutes later and realized why she had been acting not herself and unhappy for about the last 6 month. She calls me 2 days later after I left/moved out, crying the blues and spilling her guts telling the normal, she loves me, we won't ever get past this, etc... We talk and email each other for a month or so. I went to her place twice to get additional things of mine during this time. She tells me that if I would have left like she asked me to for 2 or 3 days that we would have been alright. She never asked me to leave for that amount of time, just she wasn't happy and wanted me to leave. I finally decide enough is enough and goto No Contact I had actually stopped thinking of her and finally was sleeping. Well, Out of the blue 4 weeks later she emails me about a gravely ill family member who eventually passes away, along w/ asking me how I'm doing and my family and small talk, my sister and her daughter told her. We talk/email each other for the week, leading to her coming to my place when I get back into town from the funeral. When she leaves she is crying profusely. Any ideas why??? We go again about 5 weeks or so again with NC, till last Wedesday. She out of the blue emails me again. Telling me about a medical condition her daughter has that reappeared on Monday and asking about my Mother, and family along w/ me, and thanking me for the books. I sent her books via her daughter the week prior that I had gotten for her for Mothers day, but had never did anything w/ them. She ended the email w/ Working Hard? I have yet to email her back. Monday she tells her daughter, who doesn't agree at all w/ what her mom has done, that she love me, misses me and that she can't see her future without me in it. Along w/ me being her soul mate. She goes on to tell her daughter the new guy is nice and polite but that its not what she thought it would be and that she isn't happy. I tell her daughter our journey back together starts w/ her making a phone call to me. My question to the board is, should I answer the email or call her. Or see if she is playing me along. I feel the stressfull situations she's had to deal w/ had lead to this. I'm at a stand still as to what to do. Do I answer the email or call her. Or do I see what happens and see if she recontacts me after her stress has went down. She told her daughter that she just didn't know where or how to start, and how I would receive her. I unfortunately see all the things that I did wrong when she initially told me to leave now that I have been on the net finding out everything I can to get her back. Any advise and help will be greatly appreciated. God Bless
wuggle Posted June 20, 2009 Posted June 20, 2009 Yes IMO you should take the call. It may be that the recent stressful things that she has gone through have just made her realise that she still loves you ? Before the call you need to have a think and be honest with yourself, do YOU still love her ? can you see you forgiving her ? do you think she wants to get back together ? No matter what the decision, take the call and talk. If there is a chance to get back together and you both want it, go for it. If not you need to rememer that you loved her once and try to be as good a person as you can be and move on amicably together.
mark982 Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 she cheated on you,can you get passed that? she really don't sound like even she knows what she wants.
Author daileyburgboy Posted June 22, 2009 Author Posted June 22, 2009 Mark, I agree with you completely. I've always felt that she doesn't even know what she wants. I will add a little to maybe help get some more advise. She has told me that she realizes now that I really did love her. This was the last meeting we had about 5 weeks ago. At that time she basically said she just didn't want to answer any of the hard questions I would be asking. When she told her daughter all of these things last Monday, she said then that she was willing to answer those questions but she just didn't know where to start or how to go about it.
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