whichwayisup Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 1. Her profile is public. If I ever want to keep tabs on what's going on with her, deleting her will not stop me from doing so. So, basically you have no self control? You can block her so she can't see YOUR account. Or change your account so it's not visible to anyone but who's on your friends list. Sorry, but it sounds like you're making excuses as to why you won't delete her. I think you enjoy looking in on her and she looking in on you? 2. If I want to keep her from keeping tabs on me at any point, I can simply put her on limited profile Go all the way and delete her! What's the point of playing this game, she can only see limited parts of your fb? Either keep her or delete her.
Beeotch Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 We only went out for 2 months, and it was a nice dating situation from my view but she just today told me she didn't think it was going to work for us long term. I had kind of started to fall for her, so I'm bummed out. Not devastated or crushed, but bummed. Our conversation ended with her suggesting we could still hang out if I wanted, and my saying I probably won't talk to her for a while because I had started to develop feelings for her, but maybe in the future. I do feel really good about how I handled the break-up conversation, so all she sees in me is a decent guy who didn't freak out, didn't get mad, didn't start blubbering on the phone and didn't even ask WHY things weren't going to work out. I left with some dignity. So the dilemna is: what to do about our Facebook connection? She can see all my pics, status updates, postings, etc., and vice versa. I don't want that connection there because I want complete NC with her. But I don't want to seem petty, or more upset over things than I actually am. Any thoughts or suggestions? You feel how you feel...I think you are trying to make it seem as though it doesn't faze you and I understand but you could either 1) just not go on facebook 2)tell her that you are upset so you need to do this for a while and say hope she understands 3)not tell her anything and do it...she may not realize or when she does you tell her why. At the end of the day...you need to do what is going to help you...not what looks best to others or what won't hurt her feelings. It is not about pettiness...she did what she had to do although it hurt you...but she had to be real with herself and do it. So why shouldn't you do the same?She will get over it... It is amazing how we try so hard to protect these people's feelings sometimes not realizing that WAIT...they hurt us...so who gives a shyt about them feeling peeved about something like Facebook. I woke up and smelled the coffee in that regard lol.
Author asuman Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 I agree with you. My feelings on this are up and down and constantly evolving, at this point, just days after we "broke up". I feel like I'm going to be ok with remaining connected to her, and that I have the willpower to not constantly check up on her anyway. Deleting her would be useless in that regard because her profile is public and if I really wanted to I could check up on her even if we were defriended. I did however mark my profile as private and have blocked her from seeing my updates and photos. I don't want to be constantly present in her newsfeed, and I definitely would not want her to make comments on them as many of my other friends often do. Facebook is truly odd in how it's intruded on our normal social habits. But if you pay attention to the settings you can force it back down to having no net social effect. I haven't been remotely tempted to contact her, and that will stay true forever unless she contacts me. I bet a friend dinner earlier today that if I initiate contact, I take him to dinner. It just won't happen.
Author asuman Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 So, basically you have no self control? You can block her so she can't see YOUR account. Or change your account so it's not visible to anyone but who's on your friends list. Sorry, but it sounds like you're making excuses as to why you won't delete her. I think you enjoy looking in on her and she looking in on you? Go all the way and delete her! What's the point of playing this game, she can only see limited parts of your fb? Either keep her or delete her. I missed this post somehow. I guess I just don't see what the big deal is, at least right now. There are lots of people on my FB friends list with whom I don't have the slightest real connection. I have over 300 "friends" on there. Most people I don't consider close to me, I've put on my limited profile list. She's on it now too.
Beeotch Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 I missed this post somehow. I guess I just don't see what the big deal is, at least right now. There are lots of people on my FB friends list with whom I don't have the slightest real connection. I have over 300 "friends" on there. Most people I don't consider close to me, I've put on my limited profile list. She's on it now too. I am confused...YOU posted the thread asking about what you should do about her and Facebook...now you're saying you don't see the big deal. No one is going to make a thread about something that isnt a big deal to them...your posts come off as if you are in some emotional denial. You keep saying you don't care, you keep trying to reassure us that you are not that upset, you keep saying you don't want her to think you are that upset...no one does that unles they are in denial. In truth you wouldnt be here if it didnt bother you..... Also...you keep saying her profile is public so it won't matter because you could check up on her....ahhhhh....you obviously don't want tonot be her friend, you obviously care, you obviously want to check up on her and are doing a pooooor job of pretending to be nonchalant and rational. Anyway....once you get out of denial, then you will see.
Author asuman Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 It's not so much denial as it is the wide swings of my mood and my emotions. Sometimes I'm at peace with what happened. Other times I'm sad about it, or pissed about it. I'm sure the mood swings will continue for a while and I'll probably change my mind again too at some point. This only happened 3 days ago so cut me some friggin' slack, ballbuster. 1
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