hate to love her

[hrtbrk hotel tenant]

I just wanna tell you my story: I met my ex and work in 2006. She was separated at the time. She is beautiful and me being shy after a couple of months I finally mustered up the courage to get her number. I was soooo inexperienced with women(only 2 gurlfriends my entire life i am 32) so I was stumbling when trying to interact with her on the phone. For instance i asked her if she was a freak(wtf?? was I thinkn??). Anyway we still talked at work and we got close. But one day we got into our first argument about how I feel. At that time I wasnt comfortable with openness and was relunctant to say that I cared for her which i did. Two days later she flies off to see another guy. All the while she texts me that she doesnt want to be with him but when she gets back she says they're together. It was constantly situations like this that left me unsure about us. I didnt know if I could trust her with my feelings cuz she might leave or worse abuse it. I end up being jealous a lot of the time would drink to drown my emotions(neg coping habit). We would be good in spurts:make up to break up. That would go on for almost 3yrs. I think we both were immature in dealing with relationship issues that aroses. Recently she suddenly broke up with me(again) and says that she is not in love with me b/c we didnt create that foundation;that emotional connection in the beginning. She is now constantly talking to a guy on the phone and went over his apt the DAY AFTER WE BROKE UP. It was the same guy that she has slept around the time we first met but still has kept in contact with him against my request not to. I check her phone records daily just to see if they talk...no suprise they do(shyt one night he called at 130 in the morning and the talked for and hour and a half). I am soo jealous and hurt and upset. I guess cuz she is not in love with me she can transition so smoothly but i still think it is wrong to be seeing someone so soon after (not to mention the NEXT DAY). i am in love with her and i think a lot of the problems in the past stemmed from mistrust. We have had comm. problems and was trying to work on them. I am more upset of the fact that she is interested in someone else obviously and we lied to me(but she doesnt know i check ur phone records). I want to be with her but not the way she was. i am a good man and i want to be a good man for her. NC is killin me and yesterday she agreed to have NC. I hate that i am n love with and it is not reciprocal.

[Excellent]

Dude, stay away from her. In fact, run! Stop looking at her records, this woman is toxic. From what i read she is a notorious cheater, with not regards to your feelings. She couldn't care less about you, she has already proven that.

 

Vanish from her life, and stay busy with other things to keep your mind off her. Obsessing with her will only hurt you more, and it will drive you nuts to hurt and at the same time see that she is i lala-land and is happy with what she's doing without caring for you.

 

Total and utter NC is the only way to go, that woman will never learn. As days, weeks and months progress, you will start to question what you ever saw in her.