hrtbrk hotel tenant Posted June 20, 2009 Posted June 20, 2009 my ex gurl broke up with me two weeks ago and now i think she is seeing someone else. I know she is talking to him b/c i secretly know her passwrd for ur phone records. Come to find out she went over his house the next nite after we broke up. This was a guy that when we were together she would periodically keep in contact. I told her about talking to him b/c i knew that he liked her. Looking back in her phone records she would still call him. I assume b/c she was interested. Y else would she not respect my request not to stay in contact with him. I know i shouldnt be lookin at her records but i incenses me how u just did that to me. She said she doesnt feel the same way about me as I do for me(she is not in love with me-we lack emotional connection). There has always been a lack of trust in the relationship esp at the beginning b/c she was separated and would be with me then go to ur "husband" it was all so confusing and whirlwindy but i loved her too much to step aside. By the way the reason she got a divorce is b/c she cheated on her husband. I guess it is a reoccuring theme for her. I think she searches for something and when she doesnt find it she lashes out and is untrustworthy. I am in love with her but she has hurt me bad i do want to be with her but not if she aint in love with me. Is there anyway to get her back?? plus i need to trust her again. I am tryin to NC thing but unfortunately she goes the same gym as me so it may be hard. Maybe i should change my time to go??? What should i do HELP ME I AM BLEEDING INSIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ronni_W Posted June 20, 2009 Posted June 20, 2009 hht, I'm sorry that you're hurting. Yes, it would be good for your own heart if you changed your gym time so that you minimize the chances of running into her there. It sounds as if she may well have connected with the other guy before or immediately after breaking up with you. As you say, this seems to be her MO -- running away from her own demons, I would suspect. Well, trying to run away from them...one cannot run forever. (Karma will catch up with her; it doesn't miss anybody ) She said she doesnt feel the same way about me as I do for me(she is not in love with me-we lack emotional connection) .... i do want to be with her but not if she aint in love with me. Is there anyway to get her back?? plus i need to trust her again. She already told you that she is not in love with you, which means that you do NOT want her back, according to what you wrote. You don't have to work on rebuilding trust with her because she is not around anymore. Besides, you are well aware that, at present, she is not trustworthy...trusting somebody, or trying/wanting to trust somebody, who has consistently demonstrated that they cannot be trusted is self-sabotaging behaviour. She does not feel the same way about you, she is not in love with you. There's nothing to go back to! It's not there. Even if she said she wanted to get back with you, there is STILL nothing positive there for you. No love and no trust -- according to what you wrote, you do NOT want to go back under these circumstances. I know it still sucks, though. Sending hugs and healing.
boogieboy Posted June 20, 2009 Posted June 20, 2009 Theres no way for you to get back with her. Once a woman loses her love for you, its gone forever. Not only that, but this woman sounds like the type that has an emotional black hole that can never be filled. Something that attracts her to you changes after a while, and in 5 months shes bored with you and looking for something else. She will be doing that to the new guy too, but theres nothing you can do. Forget about her, change your time at the gym, and dont let her contact you.
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