Eleventy Posted June 20, 2009 Posted June 20, 2009 I am 22 years old and my girlfriend is 17. I'll be turning 23 before she turns 18. Our relationship is amazing, but I have worries about age of consent. She wants to move in with me, which I have no qualms with, but the age of consent is 18 here. I don't want to get in trouble for statutory rape or anything like that. If a 17 year-old is listed on file as being part of the residence, does an investigation automatically carry out or something? How do people "catch" couples who are having underage sex? Or is the problem more the fact that the parents could press charges? Even if they did, how would they prove such a thing? What is the best plan of action? Wait it out?
SoulSearch_CO Posted June 20, 2009 Posted June 20, 2009 It's more likely that parents would report it to the police and the police would investigate. But no - just from having a 17-year old in your household, you wouldn't be investigated. How is it proven? Usually the guy gets busted cause the girl can't shut up, or she gets pregnant. Plausible deniability, man.
Author Eleventy Posted June 20, 2009 Author Posted June 20, 2009 Given that she doesn't become pregnant or anything like that, and even if parents press charges for whatever reason, how would an investigation even work out? I just don't understand how underage sex is even caught. I mean if it happens behind closed doors, is safe, etc, then what's the problem?
SoulSearch_CO Posted June 20, 2009 Posted June 20, 2009 The cops would question her and you about it. If the parents could provide some kind of evidence that you two were intimate (emails, IMs, text-messages)...something concrete, then the District Attorney would attempt to prosecute. At that point, it's perjury to lie under oath in court, you know? But the DA would most likely not move on it if there wasn't something GOOD (like I said - pictures, messages...they don't want to waste tax-payer money and their time and effort). If either of you WERE pulled in to be questioned by the police, I'm going to tell you right here and now - get a lawyer, get a lawyer, get a lawyer. Refuse to speak without one. Chances are good that minus any evidence, and a lawyer at hand to help keep you from blurting out anything stupid, it wouldn't go anywhere.
Author Eleventy Posted June 20, 2009 Author Posted June 20, 2009 Ah ****. I mean we haven't had sex yet but she has sent me pictures and texts about wanting to do things, and we indulge in each other's fantasies for the time being textually (we live somewhat far apart right now but we still see each other -- just haven't had sex), which isn't against the law I believe (no matter how much we talk about sex or what we'd do, as long as we haven't done anything yet, we should be safe).
MusicChick24 Posted June 20, 2009 Posted June 20, 2009 Don't let her send you dirty pictures. They are illegal in most states and could either get you in trouble for her being under 18 or get her in trouble for sending dirty pictures. Someone just got caught her for a case like yours because of text picture exchange. Like everyone has said already. The biggest way to get caught is when someone tells, family, friends etc. And with pictures, IMs etc you are making it more dangerous for the both of you...oh and erasing them doesn't make them go away either. A trained expert can find anything anywhere if he wants.
EddieN Posted June 20, 2009 Posted June 20, 2009 You also have to remember that even though you two may trust each other now, if you guys break up on bad terms she could always tell her parents and get you screwed as a way to smite you. The risk is really great. When does she turn 18? If I was really into her then I would wait until then to get intimate, otherwise I could cut my loses and move on as quickly as possible.
Asami Posted June 20, 2009 Posted June 20, 2009 You also have to remember that even though you two may trust each other now, if you guys break up on bad terms she could always tell her parents and get you screwed as a way to smite you. The risk is really great. When does she turn 18? If I was really into her then I would wait until then to get intimate, otherwise I could cut my loses and move on as quickly as possible. very true I think you should just wait it out.
missdependant Posted June 20, 2009 Posted June 20, 2009 Are you talking about statutory rape here or the actual age of consent? Age of consent is 16 in most states. Statutory rape is usually considered between two people where one is 17 or younger and the other is over the age of 18. Some states have grace periods. In statutory rape, it can be identified by pregnancy, rape kits or other investigative measures. Usually parents will just opt for restraining orders against individuals they don't want their kid around. They'll take legal action once the restraining order has been served. Investigations aren't automatic. Something or someone has to prompt them. I'd suggest waiting until she's 18. It could backfire.
Sam Spade Posted June 20, 2009 Posted June 20, 2009 The statutory rape laws crack me up with their ridiculousness, but they mean it, so be careful. As for how it's "caught", it mostly depends on on how screwed up her parents are (or not), and on how much she's yapping about it (which you can pretty much assume that she will).
Jersey Shortie Posted June 20, 2009 Posted June 20, 2009 How is it proven? Usually the guy gets busted cause the girl can't shut up, or she gets pregnant. Plausible deniability, man. ...and on how much she's yapping about it (which you can pretty much assume that she will). I find these two statements rather consending and kind of screwed up. Why shouldn't she talk about her relationship with her boyfriend? If you want to keep it such a secret then don't date girls that are legally underage. Hate to tell you guys but you have choices as a man. So stop ragging on a girl who will RIGHTFULLY so, want to discuss her relationship with other people. AND you should be thanking your lucky stars that there is a girl out there that WANTS to talk about the relationship and acknowledge the man in her life. OP, wait until she is 18. It's not like its that far away.
Sam Spade Posted June 20, 2009 Posted June 20, 2009 Whatever. Nobody, except - implicitly - the law , is denying the importance of talking about the relationship :rolleyes:. The problem is that he may get prosecuted (and in some states, such as GA - with absurd severity) if she lets the word out, no matter the circumstances and no matter how much in love they are. In talking about the relationship, I bet she doesn't want to send her boyfriend to jail. Therefore, it's a problem.
vertical Posted June 20, 2009 Posted June 20, 2009 In my state it doesnt even matter if you have concrete evidence. If the girl or the parents suggest that the guy is doing something then the benifit of the doubt goes to the girl or parents and the guy (or girl in some cases) has no chance of not getting put behind bars. It is a careful process man. Being patient is the key in this situation. If you want this to work, just wait it out.
WineCountry Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 Yes, go ahead and screw underage girls. I just filed for two warrants against two seperate guys for just that in the past month. One couple was boyfriend/girlfriend. The parents found out and gave the girl grief, and also told her it was wrong for older guys to be with younger girls. (which I agree with). So, even though she didnt want to, she came in and gave me a statement about their relationship (sex, etc). So, guess what? I have to go through with it, got a warrant for the guy. This guy was 19, and the girl just turned 15. And they had been together for two years. The next guy was a 28 year old creep, who would tell girls he was 17 years old so he could get in their pants. He looked young. He banged two girls, one age 14, one age 13. Well, one girl told her school counselor, both girls parents found out..both girls came in and gave me statements. Dude was arrested and is now awaiting his court date. I have ANOTHER case i'm investigating this month. Guy is like 25 years old, and his girlfriend is 16 with a 6 month old kid by him. Our age of consent here is 16. However, her kid is 6 months old, which proves he was banging her when she was underage. DCF got involved because of issues with the baby..and NOW ive got to investigate the PARENTS relationship too, as she was underage. Bottom line is, there are plenty of chicks who ARE of age. WHY do some guys need to mess with these young girls?? Do you men want some 20 year old college guy screwing your 14 year old daughter? It doesnt matter HOW skankish teengage girls can be these days, the laws says these kids arent grown enough yet to give consent to sex. Ignore that if you want. Also, where I live a conviction for stat rape will mean you will forever have to register as a sex offender. It doesnt matter if you only get probation or something, which likely the first case would probably be no more than that. If you get found guilty, no matter how light of a slap on the wrist they give you, you will be labeled as a sex offender. If letting Mr. Happy have fun means THAT much to you, have at it.
Author Eleventy Posted June 21, 2009 Author Posted June 21, 2009 Sorry I should be more specific. The age of consent here is 16, and in her state it is 17. However, we are both looking to move soon to an area where the legal age happens to be 18. Can I get in trouble for pictures sent when we were in the "legal" states? Does oral sex count as sex under consent rules? Are most cases only discovered because something goes wrong and the parents/girlfriend says something? I have no problem with waiting. I just want to be able to understand here so I can explain this to my girlfriend correctly if it becomes an issue.
EddieN Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 Yes, go ahead and screw underage girls. I just filed for two warrants against two seperate guys for just that in the past month. One couple was boyfriend/girlfriend. The parents found out and gave the girl grief, and also told her it was wrong for older guys to be with younger girls. (which I agree with). So, even though she didnt want to, she came in and gave me a statement about their relationship (sex, etc). So, guess what? I have to go through with it, got a warrant for the guy. This guy was 19, and the girl just turned 15. And they had been together for two years. The next guy was a 28 year old creep, who would tell girls he was 17 years old so he could get in their pants. He looked young. He banged two girls, one age 14, one age 13. Well, one girl told her school counselor, both girls parents found out..both girls came in and gave me statements. Dude was arrested and is now awaiting his court date. I have ANOTHER case i'm investigating this month. Guy is like 25 years old, and his girlfriend is 16 with a 6 month old kid by him. Our age of consent here is 16. However, her kid is 6 months old, which proves he was banging her when she was underage. DCF got involved because of issues with the baby..and NOW ive got to investigate the PARENTS relationship too, as she was underage. Bottom line is, there are plenty of chicks who ARE of age. WHY do some guys need to mess with these young girls?? Do you men want some 20 year old college guy screwing your 14 year old daughter? It doesnt matter HOW skankish teengage girls can be these days, the laws says these kids arent grown enough yet to give consent to sex. Ignore that if you want. Also, where I live a conviction for stat rape will mean you will forever have to register as a sex offender. It doesnt matter if you only get probation or something, which likely the first case would probably be no more than that. If you get found guilty, no matter how light of a slap on the wrist they give you, you will be labeled as a sex offender. If letting Mr. Happy have fun means THAT much to you, have at it. I feel bad for the first guy, but that IS a big age difference. I just turned 20 and I could never see myself dating a 15 year old, let alone a 17 year old even, which is still legal. Still though, I doubt he's a bad guy...not bad enough to get whatever punishment he gets at least. The other two cases are what the stat. rape laws are meant for, though. My 17 year old cousin took me to a graduation party today. It was really awkward since it was a bunch of high school seniors and then me, a junior in college. The adults were giving me funny looks, and a few of the girls there were getting pretty flirty with me. Even though it's technically legal, it still was a really really weird position for me.
Author Eleventy Posted June 21, 2009 Author Posted June 21, 2009 But like my relationship is not weird or anything. Yes, I've got like 5 years on her, but we connect better than anyone else I've been with, and I've dated plenty.
EddieN Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 But like my relationship is not weird or anything. Yes, I've got like 5 years on her, but we connect better than anyone else I've been with, and I've dated plenty. Not trying to put you down man, I'm just saying how I feel about younger girls. It's great that you can connect well with this girl, and now and then you'll meet someone who's mature for their age and a lot of people your own age who aren't so mature. Unfortunately, the law is the law, and by getting intimate with this before she turns 18, you're taking a risk, a rather big one. Oral sex definitely counts. Beyond that, I'm not sure what they consider to be sex.
MusicChick24 Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 But like my relationship is not weird or anything. Yes, I've got like 5 years on her, but we connect better than anyone else I've been with, and I've dated plenty. You didn't specify what state you were planning to move to so I don't know the rules but I would almost bet in most states more than likely age of consent aside sending any explicit images via IM, Email, Text whatever is illegal while she is under the age of 18. So...yeah. However, whoever is sending them pays the penalty in that case. So if you are both participating you both go to court. And right now in my state if you get charged with explicit images you must register as a Sex Offender...but it may not be the case where you are going.
xpaperxcutx Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 Save our tax dollars and just wait it out. It's not illegal to have to an underaged girl in your apartment, but anything sexual could get you in trouble. Does she need her parents' consent to move in with you? If that is the case, then you might as well just go straight to the parents than wait 3-4 months down the line when they try to bust your ass for sleeping with their daughter.
SoulSearch_CO Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 she has sent me pictures :lmao: You do realize, that's TECHNICALLY "kiddie porn," right? You could get in MAJOR trouble for having it. Students are getting in trouble for texting naked pics TO EACH OTHER. You think you won't get busted as an "of-age" with those pictures? *snort* Good luck. http://www.wkrg.com/alabama/article/students_in_trouble_for_naked_pictures/10922/ http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,363438,00.html http://www.khou.com/news/state/stories/khou081008_ar_porntext.f31234e3.html I'd say - given the pictures - it would be better if the two of you do NOT move in together. And I'd also recommend stopping saying anything sexual by text or email.
SoulSearch_CO Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 The age of consent here is 16, and in her state it is 17. However, we are both looking to move soon to an area where the legal age happens to be 18. Can I get in trouble for pictures sent when we were in the "legal" states? It does NOT matter. Child pornography laws are FEDERAL laws. Do NOT let her send you naked pictures and do NOT send her naked pictures in return.
Author Eleventy Posted June 21, 2009 Author Posted June 21, 2009 Those stories all pertain to like, middle schoolers and such. I'm talking 17 and 22 here. We're both of legal age in our respective states right now. Since when is this still "kiddy porn"? edit: What is the federal law cutoff here? Also it's not like I told her to send me anything. She just *did*. I can still get in trouble even if she is the one sending it? Does deletion matter? I should also clarify I haven't sent anything to her. The pictures are just of breasts, by the way. Does that still count as porn? I should also add that she has only sent one such picture.
Author Eleventy Posted June 21, 2009 Author Posted June 21, 2009 Also, I mean, so many people lose their virginity before they turn 18 anyway, and yet nobody seems to care. Are most people technically sex offenders then according to law?
SoulSearch_CO Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 edit: What is the federal law cutoff here? 18, for goodness' sake. You don't know that you're not allowed to possess pictures of naked people under the age of 18??? Are you kidding me? At the beginning of freaking every porn that I've seen that was made at least in the 90's (and some even earlier) they state that ALL actors/actresses are 18 or older. I hope you did delete the picture. And I'd deny that the thing EVER existed. And the question about whether or not it's considered "porn" would actually depend on how hard-assed your jurisdiction is (local PD, SO, or DA). I wouldn't even chance it! And it doesn't matter WHO sent it - if they can prove it was a minor's naked parts in the pic, you COULD get in trouble for POSSESSING it. Why the hell would you even want to risk that?? I wouldn't.
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