unikv13tgirl Posted June 20, 2009 Posted June 20, 2009 Sorry for a very long story. It's best to know our history. I met my current boyfriend about 10 years ago in middle school. We had a class together and was introduced by a friend we both know. Basically, we crushed on each other but in the end we didn't date. I thought to myself, we're still young. Later I received a bad news from pop. He had told me that we're moving to another town, which is about a hour and a half drive away. Our family moved and i have no contact with him but instead i still talked to my girlfriends. About 4 years later, I got my license and a car. I drove back down to my hometown, where I moved from, and visit one of my girlfriend that i still keep in touch. Suppose she still talked to him because they're friends. I actually get to talk to him again about some many years. We went out to chit chat and since that day, we talked more and more. We end up together dating about 3 months, long distance. It wasn't working out, but we still stay friends and talk to here and there. Again another five years have passed by, we're still good friends. At the time he's been dating this girl for almost three years and I recently broke up with the ex boyfriend. Seriously, I have thought that him and I couldn't happen again. I happened to be back at my hometown several times within six months. I called him out to hang out and all. Everytime we get a chance to hang out, there's are others around. One day I have called him out to hang out with me and my friends, its like we end up with alone time. We were at a really nice hill where there is a very beautiful night city view. The night was cold and raining (more of showering), he got out of the car first with an umbrella opened and walk to my side and i got out under the umbrella. He is a real gentlemen. With him holding the umbrella for the both of us, we walked down this long stairways and just stood at the bottom of it and talked. Sure there was a lot of flirting going on between the both of us but i can't do anything about it. It's the girlfriend. He had told me that their relationship was going down hill. I tried to be a friend and give him advices to help them out..... We stood out there for about an hour and it was getting really cold, so we decided to get back in the car. We sat in there continuing to chat. I just feel this vibe that he was still into me so i have to asked and he was. Basically we talked about us and simply started again with a kiss that night. It's like a perfect night, a kiss with a spark. He broke up with his gf the next day and since then we start talking again. Okay, to the real problem. So we just been dating again for about a month and a half. Yes, still a long distance relationship. But we managed to see each other at least once or twice a week. We are just crazy about each other. It feels like we picked up where we left off. As of right now, we are truly in love with each other. Our feelings are strong and serious. We both feels that we are the one for each other. This is what i called love. I don't know how this subject came up but we talked about our future already. Like getting married, where we gonna live, having kids, etc.. and just tonight i was upset about this little thing and i told him about it because it was bothering me. It just hit him in the head, although we love each other, he thinks its getting stronger and serious. He then told me that he don't want this to be taken too far and cause more arguements. he's not afraid of committing in a relationship, he's just not ready for it as of now. So i'm here to seek for advices. What should the both of us do? i don't want the feelings to change. but of course slow it down. We can't be apart. We want this terribly. I've been thinking and can't really come up with anything. Please help me.
Thornton Posted June 20, 2009 Posted June 20, 2009 I'm guessing you and your bf are about 25-ish? Not exactly too young to be talking about a committed relationship. He sounds a little commitment-shy to me. You've dated him three times now, and he still isn't sure if he wants to be serious with you? I know you've only been back together for a month and a half, but you're not exactly asking him for a wedding ring, you're just treating him like a serious bf, and it seems he can't handle that. What was the little thing you told him about, that hit him in the head and made him back off your relationship? He was pretty into it when you were discussing marriage and kids, but then suddenly you tell him something that bothers you and he backs off? Reading your post, it jumps out at me that you say "We can't be apart. We want this terribly" but the fact is he's not showing you he wants anything, in fact he's told you he isn't ready to commit to you and have a serious relationship. I think all you can do in this situation is back off somewhat and allow him to come to you.
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