Flamenco81 Posted June 20, 2009 Posted June 20, 2009 Hello everyone. I'm looking for a mostly female perspective on this, whoever any guys in a similar situation are welcome to comment. So I met this girl on a dating website about 2 months ago. We have gone out 5 times now. In those times things have been progressing to the point where now we say hello and goodbye with a kiss on the lips, I've started to hold her hand when we walk together and I try to have some casual physical contact and be closer. She seems pretty reserved and so we haven't done anything else, which to me is fine because I truly like her and really want things to work out. We see each other about twice a week maybe. I am usually the one that sends her a message or calls and she answers the next day or after a while. Some days, like today I don;t contact her at all, not because I don;t want to, but I guess since we are not in a serious thing yet I don;t want her to feel overwhelmed or that I am needy. I knew today she had plans so I wanted to give her space, but of course I am dying to talk to her. I am really starting to like her a lot. So now my question is. I know things are going slow and she is pretty serious and reserved, but I still really want to see what she thinks and make sure we are both looking for a good serious relationship. She does show interest and has never reacted negatively to my physical advances, although like I said we still haven't had any full on makeout session or anything beyond that physically except the hand holding and kisses. So I'll probably see her Sunday/Monday. When would be a good time to maybe make a comment about us or what she is looking for? I don;t want like I said to sound desperate or pressure her. But I just sort of want her to know how I really like her and I want to know that she is also looking for a serious commitment with me. What would be a good way to bring out the topic? When? What would be a good way to say it? Girls, when a guy lets you know how much he likes you, how do you want them to go about it?
Kamille Posted June 20, 2009 Posted June 20, 2009 If I'm into the guy, him just telling me he likes me with a flirtatious smile on his face sends shivers up and down my spine. And as to a full-on-kiss, do you know of any restaurant or bar that has a view? Preferably a view out on a somewhat secluded patio? Take her to that restaurant and then bring her out to check out the view. Lean in, kiss, tell her you've been thinking about this for awhile. Adapt to a situation that suits your style.
scaredtofallagain Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 In my current relationship, I'm kind of in the same boat you are. But he was the one to ask if I wanted to take the relationship to the next level. While it might seem a little high school to ask someone to be your girlfriend/boyfriend....it was also kind of sweet. She may be wondering the exact same things you are and may be too shy to say anything. I don't know if it's like this with other girls...but when it comes to liking a guy I'm hesitant to express those feelings as many of the opposite sex seem to been turned off by that. So she may very well be wondering how you feel but not quite sure if she should ask. If you think you're ready to have the talk then I think it would be the best to just sit down and talk with her about it. Tell her how you feel, tell her you'd like to take things to the next level and see what happens. She could be ready for it..or she could say she needs more time. You wont know until you ask. Girls like to know that a guy likes them. I've found it very rare that you guys like to express those feelings as often as us females do but when it happens it's great.
finejewel Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 Well, I would begin by saying, you have had fun in the last (however many weeks you've been dating) and that you want to make sure she has been enjoying herself as well. Then ask her her thoughts and feelings on pursuing something for the future. BE CAREFUL though, you may get an answer that you might not want to hear. If she says, there was a small connection, but it's begining to fizzle, you need to be prepared for this.....No begging, pleading, NOTHING. Just thank her for her honesty and do not set up another date. Also, you need to determine whether or not she is into affection. there are some women, believe it or not, that are just not wired to enjoy the giving or receiving affection. It you are the type of person who needs affection and who enjoys showing affection, this woman might not be the one for you. Either way, good luck and I hope all goes well
mistletoe Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 slow the steady wins the race:) my bf and i begun very slow as well, we knew we were serious into each other and were hoping that this all will turn out for good, though we both had doubts due to previous relationships(but hadn't mentioned it to one other about how we felt at first till later on) mm i can say, that i'm more of the shy and conservative type. i mainly didn't want to talk about how much we were progressing in the first few months because it wasn't much:( and i always thought we had all the time in the world left if we were meant to be together, there wasn't a need to rush. the funny thing time does is that the more u spend time with each other over the months, the more you will become comfortable and share your thoughts openly. you might still have your fears about sharing and questioning now because it is still the start of this relationship. you'll realize how easy it all just comes out of your mouth when you two are familiar with one another enough:) i advise you to take it slow:) and don't push things too fast or it might collapse with too much pressure because of what you're expecting and want things to be.
pandagirl Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 I agree with the above poster who says to take it slow. What's the rush? Just enjoy your time together and don't pressure the relationship!
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