Clozer Posted June 20, 2009 Posted June 20, 2009 Hello All, Well this is my first post here hope someone can help me out. I am going to try and be descriptive as possible. A few months ago I met a girl flat out gorgeous. Come to find out sweet smart and all. We started talking just as friends and well we became friends over the next month. We know alot about each other past relationships faults and all. Myself in my younger days was a bit of a jump around girl to girl type girl she knows. Past few yrs I have settled down and been in some serious relationships nothing good. Her a wild one in high school then some really long relationships. One of hers ended 7 mo ago, i dont think she is fully over it. When i met her she was dating a guy who i thought not to be serious. After another mmonth her and i took our relationship to the next level (sex) she ended it with the other guy Idk if its was for me or like she said he wasnt right for her.Now he is stalking her... We talk no lie 3-4hrs a day on phone plus hang out 3-5 times a week. We have so much fun together, I think I love her.??? here is the problem that guy she was dating wont give up trying to get her back...on the other hand she also is not looking for a serious relationship now, we do have talks about having children together kinda weird i know. she also goes out on dates with other guys she is playing the feild i understand that but dont like it. We have a great deal of trust for one another. And are not sleeping with anyone else.We really talk about everything almost to much if u know what i mean..I even help her find things for her dates...I dont date anyone else even though she says its ok to, cause we are moving slow.weird thing is I do get jealous when she goes out with otheres it upsets her when i do get jealous.But when i get kinda upset i say ok im going on a date tonight she gets upset weird i know...I never do it though.So basically in a way i know she is in a rebound stage in her life..Hell we call each other best friends..we talk so dam mmuch we are. the past weeK ( its now been 3months from beginin to here)i have started to feel i love her.I have kinda hinted I want her to commit.She again tells me I m #1 in her life that i am the only one sexual in her life.But she wants to move slow.But still goes on dates or whatever u wanna call. she does call on her way and as soon as she leaves so she can see me. I just dont know if i can deal with this.I tried breaking off but that hurts me and i can tell it hurts her..so we usually talk it out as friends then go back to being partners...THis is stressing me out..Idk what to do tell her I love her? Break it off? or just keep goin the way it is? This girl does do alot for me to alot more than she should...but am i just hurting myself?
JohnyB005 Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 "Am I just hurting myself?" I guess if you allow her to play the field and date other guys, yes you are hurting yourself. If she goes to the field, you're potentially in a spot where you can get replaced, and hurt. I guess I'd tell her : "look, you're important to me, and I wanna be your boyfriend and I mean exclusively, no one else. " I don't think its jealous to ask that. And heck if its too weird for her maybe you should just stick to being friends nothing else. You seem to have a great connection tho, I mean with all the time you guys spend talking together. I'm sure you'll have plenty of opportunity to tell her you've got feelings for her, the situation stresses you, that you want her love and if there's no way for it to be clear that you'd better leave instead of getting really emotionally hurt. so that's what I'm thinking. I hope you find your own answer soon. Good luck. JohnyB
D-Lish Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 Honestly, I think you are setting yourself up to get hurt. It just doesn't sound right- she is sleeping with you, yet dating other men! I myself wouldn't tolerate such a situation. I guess you have to decide whether or not having this type of arrangement is okay with you. If you are looking for something more than casual dating, I think you have to stand up for yourself and end things.
stace79 Posted June 26, 2009 Posted June 26, 2009 Nothing personal, but as a girl, if I want to be with a guy, I know it. There is no playing the field, dating around, etc. I think she likes you enough to be a good friend, and perhaps figures if there's nothing else better around why not keep dating you? But when she meets someone she really likes she will drop you like a hot potato. I would move on and try to just be her friend. No more sleeping together either!
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