jqb05443 Posted June 20, 2009 Posted June 20, 2009 I was with my bf for 3.5 years. I am 30 he is 33. When we first met he had his own house and had alot going for him. He ended up selling his house and moving back home with his parents 2 years ago as he wanted to buy a house in NY and not live in NJ. And he is still home. I really thought he was the one I was going to marry. Long story short 2 months ago out of nowhere he broke up with me. He went through a very bad depression last year (which he kind of blames me for) that lasted for 6 months. He was out of work for about 2 months during that time. During his depression where he didn't want to leave his house and cried everyday I was there for him. He told me that if I stuck by his side until he made it thru his depression he would work on us. Around Jan when he was finally ok (for 4 months), I started throwing hints about marriage. I would tell him if he didn't propose by the end of this year I would leave him. Around March he lost his job and 2 weeks before that he lost $40,000 in one of those ponzi schemes. He has a small tax practice and he was actually enjoying not working at his full time job as he always hated it and talked about leaving it to focus on his tax practice full time during tax season and starting his own finanical planning business. He was content with collecting unemployment as he has no bills and has alot of money saved. The week tax season ended he broke up with me. I got mad one day because i felt he wasn't listening to me when I was talking on the phone, I hung up on him and text him that i didn't feel like we were in a relationship anymore. I was just being immature. I didn't really mean that. Well to my surprise he text me back and told me he felt the same way and the next day he broke up with me saying that he knows that I wanted marriage and he couldn't give that to me and he was confused and felt like the spark was gone. After the break up we were NC for one week until I broke. We spoke occasionally and hung out a few times. The times we hung out were great until I would get emotional and bring us up. I went away a week ago and before I left I gave him a card with all my feeling inside telling him I wanted to get back together and work on things. He told me he needed to think about it while I was away. I ended up calling him when I got home and he was acting very distant and cold. Basically today he told me that he can't be with me and pretty much doesnt want to be friends anymore. I feel like I just got broken up with all over again. I am so hurt and a mess as I was there for him through soooo much. My friends say that he is probably feeling bad about himself losing his job, money, being 33 and living at home and now being in no position to move out. But the times that I have talked to him and seen him, he seems happy. He loves to play poker and he has been going to AC every week during the week for a few days to play poker as he gets comped since we broke up. He has told me that he enjoys being able to do what he wants and not worry about work or having to answer to anyone. I have no choice now but to start NC as I have been a failure at it since we broke up. But I have no choice to start as of tomorow. The day he broke up with me I deleted him off of FB and I have never checked it since. So I am proud of myself about that. I know I have to let go and I am in so much pain I don't know how I am going to move on. I was thinking of having his phone number blocked so I don't jump when I get a call or text and get disappointed when its not him and when I don't get anything I won't cry myself to sleep. But what if he changes his mind and can't contact me and I will never know? Any suggestions on this? Thanks for letting me get it all out and sorry for it being so long.
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