devinmusicman Posted October 31, 2003 Posted October 31, 2003 Hi everyone, Some of you may remember me, I joined way back early last summer after the woman I love more than anything I can imagine dumped me without warning on June 2nd. I spent the summer in a state of limboish morning/depression/whatever. I honestly don't remember too much of it...the whole season was a blur. Well anyways, we are both university students and have been back at school now for about 3 months. At the very very beginning of the year, the ex and I agreed that it would be best if we didn't really talk for a number of reasons. And so, despite the fact that she is in several of my classes (we go to a music conservatory so the classes are SMALL), we have not talked, or even looked at each other during this whole time. In the beginning, this was devestating. The contrast between the love we shared on campus last year, to the cold reality that we couldn't even look at each other any more was overwhelming. So overwhelming that I signed up for counceling (definetly my smartest move since coming here). I would get anxiety attacks, and simply dread running into the ex somewhere...I even would avoid eating for fear of running into her at the dining hall. To make this long story (relatively) short, let me summarize by saying that I am doing better now. I still get very lonely/depressed sometimes without real warning, but on the whole college life is a little more bearable. However, the ex and I still are not talking or looking to/at each other. Frankly this is becoming very tiresome and almost childish it seems. But at the same time, I don't know if I'm ready to reestablish connection with her, for fear that I may undo the slow progress I've been making. Advice anyone? Devin
UCFKevin Posted October 31, 2003 Posted October 31, 2003 Do you feel like you NEED to talk to her? There's nothing wrong with never contacting her again, if it's over, it's over, sometimes there's nothing left to salvage. Don't feel so bad.
Author devinmusicman Posted October 31, 2003 Author Posted October 31, 2003 Kevin, Thanks for responding so soon. To answer your question, NO, I don't feel like I absolutly need to be her friend again. But this whole not talking/looking thing is growing tiresome and childish, as I said. I guess the question now becomes: are we acting like inmature junior high schoolers, or like two adults who simply can't talk to each other?
NEONINK Posted October 31, 2003 Posted October 31, 2003 When you don't know what to do or what the right thing is... Don't do anything. Listen to your internal chatterbox.
UCFKevin Posted November 1, 2003 Posted November 1, 2003 My parents got divorced and never talk to each other anymore. It happens. It's not childish. It's not exactly mature, but if there's no need to talk, then why force it? No worries.
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