tink0730 Posted June 19, 2009 Posted June 19, 2009 My story in a nutshell: my best friends brother is my ex. We hooked up and moved to another state where my family lives. He became fast friends with my brother and they still both work in the same field. We were very passionate but had no serenity in our life. I ended up hurting my back and having 2 surgeries. During my recovery he pulled away and ended up leaving me for a girl at his work. They are still together. I ended up remarrying because I don't want to be alone. My husband is a great man and we have emotional serenity. It has been 4 years since the break up. My best friend passed away a year ago. Her kids and my kids grew up together and are still close. Currently, they are visiting and have visted their uncle as well while they were here. He called me last week and broke down. He told me made the biggest mistake of his life, he still loves me, and would I go out and meet him? I declined. I couldn't break away without my husband knowing. Now I feel so stupid. He has cut me off again. Won't talk to me. Probably for the best, but I feel like I missed out on him and I am regretting it. What do I do?
SweetyBear Posted June 19, 2009 Posted June 19, 2009 You're married, right? I think it's nothing to regret not allowing someone from your past to intrude on your present with your husband. I'm sure it's all for the best that the ex won't talk to you anymore. It's interesting that you almost suggest you would have met up with him if your husband would not have known or found out about it? Why do you think you would have liked to see him? Aren't you happy in your stable, secure relationship with your husband?
Author tink0730 Posted June 19, 2009 Author Posted June 19, 2009 Stable - yes, happy - most of the time, fulfilled - no. Miss the passion, miss the ex and the heat we had when we were together. Now, it is monotonous, but safe. I think if I could have gotten out of the house without my husband knowing, I would have gone. It was hard to resist running out the door to meet him after being told how much he misses me, how much he loves me, and how I am the only one who loves him completely in return. I knew he didn't want back in a relationship, just a booty call or just wanted to hear I still think about him Its the ups and downs I don't understand. Why call me 4 years after he left me? Why call me now when he's the one who cut off contact? Why is he messing with me? Now its back to him not acknowledging I am alive. How do I deal with the emotions and get back to my life?
SweetyBear Posted June 19, 2009 Posted June 19, 2009 I hear that you're torn, and that's an awful place to be. It sounds to me like the ex either realized his mistake in telling a married woman all that he did and asking her to meet him or he is toying with your emotions to see how you will respond. IMHO, a man does not contact a married woman and say what he did to you. A man should respect that you are married. You said your marriage lacks the passion of your previous relationship. Did you ever have that with your husband? Maybe think of ways to rekindle that passion with him and get out of a rut (if that's what your marriage is in) instead of thinking of another man? There is the possbility that the ex fella's feelings are legitimate, but honestly, hasn't he lost his chance?
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