StillWondering Posted June 19, 2009 Posted June 19, 2009 Hey everyone! This is my first time posting, so please bear with me. On Tuesday I went out with a guy for drinks. We met very casually on a social networking site when I was looking up old friends. I thought he was someone else, then found out he wasn't who I thought he was. We made small talk though, and he asked me out for drinks. This was Saturday when he asked, he said he'd call the next day, which he did. I missed his call but left him a quick note saying I got his call, sorry I missed it. So Monday he calls me, and asks me if I'd like to go get a drink Tuesday or Wednesday. I wasn't sure what my plans for Wednesday were, so I picked Tuesday. We had a great great great time. A lot of laughing and what not. Even a hug. He asked me that night if I'd like to go golfing the next day. I was having such a great time, I said yes. He paid for everything the drinks and all. Had our plans set. So we went the next day golfing. He had mentioned to me what a turn on it was to have met a girl who golfs. It was a lot of fun as well. He then said he'd love to go again soon, but he's going back home for the weekend. So he asked for the following Wednesday. Yesterday he called, and wanted to know if I had fun, and wanted to confirm our next plans. There was also talk of a few other things we may like to do in the future. He said he'd hit me up later with an email. He never did, but no big deal on that part. Things happen. Then today he sent me a comment saying he might stay in tonight, or might go out, not sure, and asked what I was doing. I was vague. I didn't want to seem over eager. But I wanted to reply to be polite. So here we are both sitting online not really talking. Normally, he's very chatty with me, and stuff. See the tricky part is this... He mentioned to me that he enjoys being single. Also, before I agreed to go out for drinks, I did a once over on his profile, and he seems to have a few girls that he's seeing. Which is fine. But there's things make me get the impression that he's a bit of a player. He's got A LOT of chick friends. He shuffles his friends around a lot. Girls wearing hardly anything. I'm not looking to jump into anything serious. But I also don't want to get involved with a guy who sees a lot of girls. Any insight?
Butterflying Posted June 19, 2009 Posted June 19, 2009 There doesn't appear to be any problems with the guy from what you have written here. I wouldn't label him a player as long as he is up front about everything. He might be having a good time just meeting and spending time with a variety of women. No problem with that. However, if you are looking for a commited relationship, this definately is not the right guy for that. If you are looking for commitment, but would like to keep this guy as a "friend" in the meantime, that would be great too. Just make sure that you don't give him anything that you can't afford to lose. This means... Your boundaries as a friend should be clearly established. Don't do too many romantic things when you know this isn't a romantic relationship. Whatever you give, give it freely without expecting anything back in return.
Author StillWondering Posted June 19, 2009 Author Posted June 19, 2009 Thanks for the reply. His profile stated that he's not looking for a serious relationship, but 'we'll see if the right woman comes along'. Now I start off with casual dating, but I don't like to casual date a guy who has a pattern for sticking with that only. Does that make any sense? When I start dating someone, I look for signs that it could lead to more. We shared some very nice kisses. There is chemistry there without a doubt. I am wondering what I can look for, to know if there is a possibility for it to be further in the future.
girl68 Posted June 19, 2009 Posted June 19, 2009 Why not just take it slow? Do more activities with him and get to know him better. But if you are the jealous type this guy probably isn't the right guy for you as his "friends" might drive you mad. I don't think you should be "looking" for signs. It's too soon for that. Just enjoy the time you do have, don't look, don't expect just enjoy.
boogieboy Posted June 19, 2009 Posted June 19, 2009 Yeah usually you know when A guys interest in you goes forward, not backwards. So you should probably cut your losses now if your instincts are tingling, ykno?
Author StillWondering Posted June 19, 2009 Author Posted June 19, 2009 Why not just take it slow? Do more activities with him and get to know him better. But if you are the jealous type this guy probably isn't the right guy for you as his "friends" might drive you mad. I don't think you should be "looking" for signs. It's too soon for that. Just enjoy the time you do have, don't look, don't expect just enjoy. I'm not a jealous girl by any means. I'm confident in myself. I view myself as beautiful inside and out. I just don't like to move towards anything intimate (even kissing) if a guy is kissing five other girls, you know? So when he goes in for a kiss, how do I keep it from happening, without putting him off until I am more sure of if I want to continue anything more then platonic? Also when the time comes, how do I bring up the 'Are you dating many other girls' topic, especially knowing that he is. Eventually it will bother me, but I'd like to see where this goes. Yeah usually you know when A guys interest in you goes forward, not backwards. So you should probably cut your losses now if your instincts are tingling, ykno? Well I don't think he'd have made future plans, then call to confirm if there was little interest. I think he just has interest in many other girls. How does one compete with other girls?
boogieboy Posted June 19, 2009 Posted June 19, 2009 You cant compete with other girls, unless you arent bieng yourself. Just have trust that if he doesnt like the REAL you, its his loss.
Author StillWondering Posted June 19, 2009 Author Posted June 19, 2009 I am always myself. But I think most anyone will find ways to promote their best qualities when dating someone, especially dating someone who is casually dating. I wouldn't turn down a date from another man at this point either.
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