LisaUk Posted June 19, 2009 Posted June 19, 2009 Afternoon all, I just had a bit of a vent in another thread and it set me thinking, who else would like to have a vent about their ex? How they treated you during the break up, how they made you feel, who needs to let out some anger? Do it here, post your story and we can all say how c*ap we think your ex is as well, perhaps it might make you feel a bit better to get it out?
Girlygal Posted June 19, 2009 Posted June 19, 2009 My ex is a complete and totaly F$ck head. i hate him. i wish he would just go away. at 16 i was pregnant. And THOUGHT i was in LOVE. HA BS. i was dumped and then not dumped and then dumped again. When my baby finally arrived he stuck around for 2 weeks, then goodbye see you later. He paid CS (if you call 100/month CS) and never called, never asked about the baby, nada. When my son was 5 and heading to school (i was married now) we petitioned to have his last name changed to my married name and my H wanted to adopt him. Do you know what the Fhead did? He showed up at court and said that unless i released him of his CS he wouldnt allow the name change. He hadnt seen my son in 5 years (WTF???) but i agreed readily and released him of all CS and even repaid him a few months of it. He told me that he never wanted to be a dad and that this had been hanging over him for years and that he was glad to finally be rid of it. Then he THANKED my H for relieveing him of his duties. Thought it was over, but nooooooo. He then moves in a BLOCK from my house and has been there since. He rides his bike around and stares at my kids and makes his presence known. I ignore him and my son has no idea who this guy is. My EX gave up his rights, walked away he WANTED to walk away i didnt force him. All he was concerend about was his lousy 100/month he had paid in CS. WHY DEAR GOD WHY??? I'd love to tell that bastard off, but i refuse to play into his game. I just pretend like he is just another random neighbor. And thats the way it will stay!
TaraMaiden Posted June 19, 2009 Posted June 19, 2009 I think a thread with such a negative context will just turn into 'Bitchery' and people do that enough when they initially post. There is already such pain, torment and despair in the posts of those who are wounded in their affections, that to duplicate those sentiments, perpetuate them and keep them alive, seems counter-productive. I daresday some will post, but it seems a shame to wallow in anger and resentment, when the only thing a person truly wishes, is to heal with as little pain as possible. But hey, that's just me.....
Ronni_W Posted June 19, 2009 Posted June 19, 2009 In general, I agree with Tara...AND I know the therapeutic value of giving voice/expression to our anger -- it is also energy in the body that needs to get unstuck. There are not "anger intensives" for nothing So maybe...vent away and as strongly as you can, with the aim of releasing/eliminating it once and for all, and the self-promise that you will not then allow yourself wallow, resent, blame, etc.? That is, there must be a healthy compromise somewhere -- we just need to locate where it is hiding
Author LisaUk Posted June 19, 2009 Author Posted June 19, 2009 Taramaiden, that wasn't my intention fo rthe thread, I know I need to get my anger out in order to release it. I can't release it in any other place, such as to friends or family. Firstly it is unfair on them to have to listen to it, secondly here no one knows you, you can say what you like without fear of reprisal. I didn't intend to suggest that we should all be horrible about each others exes, I meant sometimes it helps to know others agree that the way you have been treated was wrong. I know I have spent many lonley depressed times sitting thinking was it me? Could I have done this differently or that differently. I think to be able to express your anger if you need to is a good thing, keeping things bottled up only drives them deeper into your mind. Knowing you're not going crazy may help you move on, hearing what others have been through may also help you put your own break up into perspective.
hopesndreams Posted June 19, 2009 Posted June 19, 2009 I'm more angry at myself these days and not him. I'm finding it difficult to move on. I've read a few self-help books and they help to some degree but dang it...I'm scared of being alone! I hate feeling this way. Ever since I was 20, I have been with a man. First husband was an idiot and put up with his abuse for 13 years and was thrilled when I finally got away from him. My 2nd husband is a nice guy, attractive, great sense of humour, was always there for me and didn't think in a million years he would do the unthinkable and cheat on me and then just walk away leaving me with a teenage daughter and her baby, my grandson. For 10 years we were together and I raised his son with him, we raised 3 kids and while he went to college for a degree and wrote his 3 books, I encouraged him, supported him and took care of our family. Just when things could just be about us, he leaves. I'm disappointed in him, not angry. Disappointed in myself for feeling miserable and rejected.
Exit Posted June 19, 2009 Posted June 19, 2009 Strangely enough, after 2 months since the breakup, I still never really got mad at her. Like "hopesndreams" said, I have more to be mad at myself about. Anger is a dirty feeling and it only takes your energy and life force from you and gives it to this person who you're trying to ignore in the first place. They walked away from you but you can decide whether or not they take a piece of you with them. Hopefully you can find a way not to be angry. If you do feel anger, you do need to try to vent it once and for all. Anger is not healthy and does not heal. Anger can keep you bitter forever. Anger will turn you into a worse person instead of allowing you to improve for your next relationship. To borrow something from my favorite show LOST, count to 5, let the emotions flood over you, but once you count to 5 you let it go. It doesn't have to be 5 seconds, It can be 5 hours or 5 days. Certainly not 5 weeks I hope. But embrace this feeling you have, let it run its course. Write angry letters (do not send them), hit a punching bag, cry, scream, whatever you want to do. But when the period of time you allowed yourself is over, you take a deep breath, and you let it go.
Mike B. Posted June 19, 2009 Posted June 19, 2009 I strongly agree with Tara. I think you will only work against yourself with this sort of "venting." It is best to do your best to try to move on and come at peace with yourself.
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