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Im lost - and just want someone else to make a decision for me

mikkyr

By mikkyr
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

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SoulSearch_CO Established Member

SoulSearch_CO

Posted
Posted
Why cant he look past his past and be grateful that something good has landed in his lap?

Heh. I asked this question so many times and could never come up with a good answer. :( If you ever find one, let me know - it still haunts me and we've been separated for 16 months, divorced for 10.

boogieboy Established Member

boogieboy

Posted
Posted

Originally Posted by mikkyr

Why cant he look past his past and be grateful that something good has landed in his lap?

Heh. I asked this question so many times and could never come up with a good answer. :( If you ever find one, let me know -

 

I know the answer.

 

#1) he was never in love with you, he just fed you the lines you wanted to hear. Thus the cheating....

 

#2) to properly appreciate what he has in his lap, he needed to be divorced already and given time to get his mind together before jumping into another relationship. Sounds to me like hes grateful to you for being his long term rebound.

Dexter Morgan Established Member

Dexter Morgan

Posted
Posted

And please refrain from the ‘leave the cheating bastard’ comments – They are not helpful as we all know that it is much easier said than done.

 

well, you wanted "someone else to make a decision for" you.....so if this isn't something you want to hear, the only decision is to stay with him and put up with it if you think you can change him.

 

 

If I didn’t love him and believe that somewhere under all this crap is a good man I would have left him long time ago.

 

so what "decision" is it you are looking for us to make for you?

Dexter Morgan Established Member

Dexter Morgan

Posted
Posted

Why are so many shrinks of the opinion that relationships can be stronger after infidellity?.

 

because shrinks are full of s##t

SoulSearch_CO Established Member

SoulSearch_CO

Posted
Posted
I know the answer.

 

#1) he was never in love with you, he just fed you the lines you wanted to hear. Thus the cheating....

 

#2) to properly appreciate what he has in his lap, he needed to be divorced already and given time to get his mind together before jumping into another relationship. Sounds to me like hes grateful to you for being his long term rebound.

Boogie, I'm going to have to disagree with you. It's not so simple as YOU think it is. ;) Until you've actually been in the situation, try not to judge.

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