SWETPEA Posted June 19, 2009 Posted June 19, 2009 Hello everyone i'm kinda new to this..I'm going to tell you my story. I have been with my bf for about 7 years.i really love him to death; he is a good man.he just hasn't asked me to be his wife. i understand that we both are not financially set but who is before they get married. He first told me that he has to finish school and get his degree and than we can talk more about marraige. He has had his degree for about 3 to 4 years now. now he tells me he wants to buy a house before he ask me to marry him. I even had told him that we could be engaged and be married in a couple of years after the engagement. I feel like i have failled in my relationship....that he feels that i'm not the right person for him...thats the way i feel some times...Everytime our anniversaries comes around i think he is going to pop the question but i just get disapointed at the end.... Please any advice will do
Ruby Slippers Posted June 19, 2009 Posted June 19, 2009 It is highly likely he doesn't want to get married. Ever. Will you be happy staying with him as his girlfriend and not getting married? If yes, cool, let it be. He might actually marry you someday. (One of my best friends got married 2 years ago to her on-and-off boyfriend of the 10 years prior, and they have a 1-year-old child.) If you're not content to wait for a day that may never come, move on.
BobSacamento Posted June 19, 2009 Posted June 19, 2009 Your wasting good years on this clown. If you want him to pop the question force him don't wait around year after year. These are your prime years. Clock's ticking lady.
norajane Posted June 19, 2009 Posted June 19, 2009 now he tells me he wants to buy a house before he ask me to marry him. And why wouldn't he want to buy a house WITH you after you're married? Why is it important that he do so before? It's not. It's just another excuse to put you off. It doesn't sound like he is ready or interested in marriage. Have you ever talked to him about his thoughts on marriage in general? Does he make disparaging remarks about his parents' marriage or other people's marriages? Does he ever talk about concerns about divorce? Does he want children? You may just have to set a timetable in your head beyond which point you won't stay with him anymore if he isn't any closer to marriage. And when that time comes, let him know that you do want marriage as part of your life goals and that his goals don't seem to match yours so you have to move on. And then move on.
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