Nikki Sahagin Posted June 18, 2009 Posted June 18, 2009 Hi everyone. Well me and my boyfriend of 2 years broke up about 2 months ago now. He ended it in an email just before my birthday and exams. We began as best friends and had a very passionate, intense, volatile relationship. We both had prior baggage and are both young (started going out at 17). We had our own issues which ultimately led to the downfall of our relationship but the intensity and passion I felt for him was also matched with something very tranquil and calm. I loved him, fancied him, was made about him, addicted to him, obsessed with him. It was a complete mixture of healthy and unhealthy componants. A rollecoaster ride. He felt like the other part of me; just as loving, messed up, crazy, damaged. I felt we could save each other. Anyway - it is hard for me to detatch from all that and be friends again, though I wish I could be 'big enough' to go back to that. I know many people that have. But I don't think I can. This person means the world to me and I love him and care for him but my emotions are a mixture; guilt about my own behaviour in the relationship, anger at his, love for the vulnerable parts of him, sexual desire to be with him, a childish voice that doesn't want to let go - so many emotions that I am struggling to make sense of. We were emailing to discuss what we didn't in person but it obviously opened up old wounds. I don't regret it because it helped in many ways. He wanted us to be friends, but I ended the emails to say maybe we could be one day, but for now it would be so hard when I want him in a very different way. Why then, do I feel guilty for rejecting his friendship, when he rejected our relationship? Though of course the reasons are justifiable in some way - I just felt if its love you should never give up.
Pyro Posted June 18, 2009 Posted June 18, 2009 First of all that it very immature to end a relationship over email. He should have talked to you in person, regardless of how difficult it would have been for him. Thats very disrespectful. No need to feel guilty. You shouldn't be friends with an ex if you still have those feelings. Why make yourself suffer just to please him.You are right though, maybe one day when all the feelings are gone and you still want to be friends, then go for it, but until then, steer clear of him and concentrate on yourself.
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