bluewolf17 Posted June 18, 2009 Posted June 18, 2009 I have "gotten back" with an ex before, but it was those situations where you are only apart for a day or two, and nothing really changes, and you end up breaking up anyways. What does a good reconciliation look like? I have never really had one..My story is in the coping section under "ex wants to see me". Basically my ex and I ended in Feb. I broke up with him while mad, a few days later I came back pouring my heart out that I was wrong, and he didn't want me back. I spent 2 weeks trying EVERYTHING to get him back. He would call and see me, but didn't want to be together. I went NC for 3 weeks, then he brooke it, wanted to see me again. We spent another 4 weeks going on dates and having good times, but when I finally asked if he wanted to get back together, he said "not right now"..so I was heart broken, went back to NC. Three weeks later (again!) he started texting me...little things at first, "hope your doing well" then asking me questions, then last week, he said he wanted to get together. We have now talked on the phone, he invited me to a family BBQ, he asked me to bring him soup and medicine on Monday when he was sick. Yesterday we hung out and had a really fun time. He text's and sends me private facebook messages. Neither of us have dated since eachother. My question is, after those bouts of NC, I feel like I have my emotions in check. I see what some of our issues where in the R, and I really would like another shot, but I am also okay now with being patient, and seeing what happens. He always seems excited to see me, and we are flirtatious when we get together (nothing physical, not even kissing since the break up). Since we have been back in contact over a week now, we have spoken everyday. We haven't talked about the R, and honestly, I am happy about that. I wanted to see if we still have that "spark" and for me at least, we do. I think he sees it too. I don't know if we are just "testing the waters" or not. I don't know where this is headed. In the past, when I would talk about it, I would tend to get REALLY EMOTIONAL, and end up upset, crying, and then going NC. He told me my NC really confused him. This time around, I want to do things right. I think we have a shot, but am not sure where to go from here, and what a good reconcilation involves.
CaliGuy Posted June 18, 2009 Posted June 18, 2009 Bluewolf, I have a few and none of them worked out. Why?! Mainly because neither of us grew, learned anything or changed. I would say that in order for a reconcilliation to take place there needs to be growth and change in addition to starting BRAND NEW. If you are going to go back out with your ex, make sure there has been progress. Make sure you start it like a new relationship and don't get too invested right off the bat. I can tell you what a sure-fire failure looks like: Starting right back where you left off with no changes, no talks, no understanding. Oh yeah, word of advice: "Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?!" Just a thought....
Nuala83 Posted June 18, 2009 Posted June 18, 2009 Bluewolf, I have a few and none of them worked out. Why?! See below Oh yeah, word of advice: "Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?!" ....there's your answer I'm in fighting spirit today! Keep going girl it sounds like you're on the right track. Just play it safe and try not to get your hopes up too high just in case
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