Is it me or is it Him?

[MVOGT]

So my husband and I have been married for 4 years, we started dating when I was 16 and our relationship was on and off for a couple of years. He got engaged to someone else, things didn't workout between them and then in 2001 we started dating again about a year after that moved in together and that was the beginning of our lives together. He is a very jealous person, I don't have any guy friends of my own however all his friends are my friends. When I was working at another company about 3 years ago I had a very good relationship with a guy at work, he respected me (I even invited him to our wedding) we would get lunch together, he would bring me coffee in the morning. He would talk to me about his girlfriend relationships, I would talk to him about me and my husband. Since my husband is so insanely jealous I never told about the extent of my friendship with guy at work and I would delete his text messages from my phone and his number if he called me. My husband always said to me "what I don't know won't hurt me" so I figured "what he doesn't know wouldn't hurt him". I NEVER did anything physical with this guy AT ALL our relationship was strictly friends. Eventually my husband found out, he flipped out. And now 3 years later he still throws it in my face even though I do not talk to this guy anymore. And I feel like mine and my husbands realtionship is totally different.

 

The past couple of months have been really bad we keep arguing about everything and anything. One day on a Friday I didn't text him back right away and he didn't talk to me all weekend. The other night we were talking and I responded to him in a baby voice( i didn't do it intentionally) (for some reason traits from people that I hang out with or talk to tend to rub off on me) that one my girlfriends speaks in which he hates and he has not talked to me since. I apologized and he is still not talking to me. He thinks that I worry about our friends realtionship issues rather than ours but I don't get invovled with our friends issues I just listen and try to be supportive. He gets angry if laundry is not done, I was gaining weight and he was unhappy with the way I looked, he was aggravated that I never start anything sexual between us. I feel like I try my hardest to make him happy but nothing is ever good enough. I work full time, go to school part time (although I took this summer off from school for a break). I have started working out again which I like doing because it makes me feel good about myself and I have lost 9lbs. Yet my husband does not compliment me at all, he will make comments to my friends but never to me. I just am not sure what I can do at this point, I love him but he drains me and I walk on eggshells worrying if I am going to do or say something that is going to make him upset. Is it me or is it him?

[whichwayisup]

Seems you two have forgotten why you got married and aren't being a loving couple as husband and wife. Too routine, too settled, whatever.. Communication between you two really sucks (sorry) and each of you have your part in why the marriage isn't going well..

 

If you want your marriage to work, then get help - Get to marriage counselling..Learn to be open, honest and communicate, really listen to one another. He has to stop with the silent treatment as that's a form of abuse (atleast I think so) and it's a total control and intentional act to do that to someone..