What happened to being faithful?

[wishfulTHINKING]

Cheating in all cases that I have ever witnessed has been a worthless crime. Atleast people who rob banks are running away with money, cash, and/or jewels, but cheating only winds up in one mistake. The mistake of breaking up and causing the heartache of not only the two/three involved, but the families, friends, and watchful outsiders dying to put in their two sense of heartful words. You know, it's funny to think back before my relationship with Jason (no, that is not his real name) when i promised myself that I would never be with a cheater, NEVER. I laughed at every single girl that went back after finding her man with another man/woman. Now, many of them were women, but I don't want to single out any type of relationship over the next. My story seemed to come out of a fairytale and I suppose I would like to share it. Maybe someone out there is crying right now because their significant other was just caught in a terrible act, and maybe my story might help them like others' stories helped me. So, for all those romantic readers out there, here's my side of the story, but please remember that this is not his.

 

I'm still in high school (senior), yes the wonderful years before college and LIFE hit you. I'm a very attractive girl with a laid back personality. I wear makeup and yet I workout daily; if i could hourly, I would. I'm intelligent but I also have a life. I guess that would be the best way of describing myself without giving you a bio of my life from birth. Oh! I also have a sense of humor; that's a very important quality.

 

Jason and I had been dating for ten months and we were pretty great. We didn't go on a ton of dates but we were always out at some party of some sort, but neither one of us strayed too far from the other at any party that we went to. Everyone thought that we were the perfect couple and how nothing could go wrong. Looking back, I laugh at the statement. If you don't remember anything from what I'm writing, remember this: NO RELATIONSHIP IS PERFECT! Sorry, but that's why authors write those wonderful little stories called fairytales. Just a stinker isn't it!

 

Ok, so the good part right? Well, Jason was in Cullman, Alabama at the time that I found out. I had been getting these crazy calls from the physco girls telling me how Jason had been cheating on me with these girls named Haley and Danielle (no, those names aren't real either). But ofcourse in my mind I was thinking that my precious Jason would never do that to me. He loved me and told me daily how much I meant to him and how we would be together forever.

 

So that day I was with my best friend Kelli (yes, that's a real name) and we were about to go shopping. Well this rumor had gone on before and I had confronted Jason about it and he said no that these were two quiet girls in his fourth block and they barely talked to him. Yeah right! But at that point in time I had believed what he said and kept living life the way I wanted to. I'm not the type of girlfriend who is so nosy that she has to live her life in her boyfriend's shoes. Sorry, I don't have time for all that nonsense. But back to the shopping day! I had texted Haley and told her about all these girls who had been calling me and how crazy this all was.

 

**Just to get the storyline straight, about a month before I texted Haley on this day, she had assured me that there was nothing going on between her and Jason, so I had no doubt in my mind.

 

So Haley's response to this text message was so you believe him. I was in shock to say the least. This girl has previously told me that the love of my life and her had nothing going on and now she was doubting that he was telling the truth. I was more than confused at this point, so I called her. Now, I'm not the mean chick that's going to cuss someone out or anything. I was very pleasant to her and all I wanted was the truth, was that too much to ask? So she finally told me the Jason and her had had sex THREE times! I almost dropped the phone at this moment ladies and gentlemen, but I held it together and asked her if I could meet her at her house tonight and figure something out. No, I was not going to kick her butt.

 

So later that night Kelli and I went over to her house, I had never seen this girl before but she was not cute.. AT ALL! So, I wanted her to prove it to me. Jason had been calling me all day trying to get intouch with me but ofcourse I wasn't going to pick up the phone because I wanted to find out everything that was going on. Well, Kelli and I get Haley to call Jason off of her phone. I was standing right beside her with him on speaker and this was the "good" part of the converstation:

 

Haley: "Why don't you just tell Ann (that's me) we had sex?"

Jason: "Oh my god! Hell no! I can't!"

 

Now, if that's not I'M GUILTY cry, then I don't know what is. I couldn't feel anything in my body and I'm pretty sure my heart stopped beating for too long for any normal human being to live. So I called him and the conversation wasn't too much of a much. Nothing that really needs explaining anyway. Later that night I found out there was one more girl that he had had sex with. I'll just call her Danielle even though that's not her real name and he took her virginity. That's one of the more pleasant things to know as the girlfriend, isn't it? :/

 

So we didn't talk for a full week. I cried and there was nothing anyone could do.. I was at time's mercy. So it was Friday, graduation, and I got a text from Jason. I had not texted him or called him at all during this time, and I'm so happy that I did not. The text said that he wanted to talk and I told him that the only way that I was going to talk to him was face to face. So he came over to my house.

 

We sat down and we did not scream at eachother the entire time, I'm not that type of girl, but after about five minutes he started to cry. If I could remember that conversation, I would write about it, but all it was was a painful conversation between two people who just had their worlds turned upside down. If you can imagine a conversation like that, then you got it.

 

Instead of going out that night on graduation, he came and sat with me at the soccer fields. I don't know if you readers have thinking spots or not, but that one was mine. We talked until three in the morning about everything. We both realized that we were not perfect in the relationship and the communication between us could have been so much better.

 

I realized that I was too picky about everything. If it was benefical to life for the future, then I wasn't happy with it. In the beginning of the relationship I was so carefree and so full of life and over time I began to loose that. It was a grave loss on my part and could have lead to many of our fall outs. So now I have promised myself two things: to let the issue between us go until is occurs again and to be carefree forever.

 

Jason and I have already talked about his flaws so I going to be speaking for me, but just this once. He said that he wanted to more so apart of the crowd and that he began to listen to others instead of his own heart. Now he knows what he wants and what he is after. He claims that he had no feelings for those girls, and I believe that. He deleted all that the girls numbers out of his phone and gives me a last at the end of each month on who has texted him (he paid for that service) and I didn't ask him to do that.

 

After that night of talking until three in the morning, he left to go on his senior cruise. No, I know for a proven fact he didn't do anything with any of girls. But while he was on the cruise he sent ten roses to me for our ten months and bought me an ED HARDY shirt that he gave to me when he got back. Ever since then all we have done is laughed until we cried. It's been more than magical and we have gone on many more dates together and spent the much needed personal time together (no, we aren't having sex any time soon).

 

Now, please take to mind that this is a two month period after everything went down. The pain is still there and the fear will be there forever. Call me stupid for going back but something is telling me that I need to atleast give him one more shot. I throughly believe that love is a battlefield. Either you get shot down and never get back up/move on, or you keeping shooting until you hit the target. I only have two shots in my pistol, but I only have one left.

 

Do I think once a cheater always a cheater? I'll let you know in a couple of years.

 

**If you would like to leave any comments about how terrible or awesome my experience/decision was, go ahead

[TaraMaiden]

Once a cheater, always a cheater?

 

Yes.

 

It's a whole lot easier than having to deal with the real issues.

 

And on....

[mikeymcee]

totally agree

[Nikki Sahagin]

No not everyone that cheats once will cheat again.

 

Not eveyone that smokes a cigarette, will keep smoking, or has a beer will keep drinking etc etc.

 

But unless they really suffer for their crime, unless they 'do their time' they won't really have a need to change.

[notsure3]

I cheated on my ex husband and it tore our marriage up. I was one of those people that b/f i married I would always say "I'll never cheat on my husband".

Anyway, I am so ashamed I did that to him. I was very selfish and immature. Fast forward three years later, I will not and HAVE NOT cheated on another lover again. The hurt and anguish it causes are not worth it. Also, I am a more mature person now. I want a faithful relationship with little to no drama.

 

I wish you the best.

[ON MY OWN]

I do believe people do deserve a chance and there are some ppl who are legitimately sorry. It seems like your bf is definitely baring his soul to you to prove to you he is sorry. Imo I d have a bit of a trust issue but it could be regained but trust and loyalty are earned and he would definitely have to do alot to prove it to me. More often then not unfortunately ppl that have cheated do cheat again, I have witnessed this over the years first hand from a few of my bf's and men who had gf's that wanted me for the other women. One shot is definitely all I would allow, and I would make sure he is well aware that if he messes up there are no third chances period and is not open to discussion. If it is worth it to you even see a counselor a handful of times to get to the root of why he cheated.

 

I do agree if they do not suffer any consequences for their behavior they may repeat the act. Many cheat because there is something lacking in the relationship, have you addressed that??

 

The best of luck to you as I have not had any good outcomes from it on either side of the fence and it is very unfair to the other 2 ppl involved. For your sake sweetie I hope he is sincere and I will definitely say a prayer on that.

 

Just always remember to look out for number one. Be true to yourself. You have a lot to offer someone and they should definitely be deserving of you!!:bunny::bunny: