Superdude87 Posted June 18, 2009 Posted June 18, 2009 Hey everyone. The last 3 weeks or so have been pretty bad between me and my (now) ex-girlfriend. About a month ago she started texting her ex again, I caught her lying about going out with friends, she admitted to seeing him, and for a week or two I TRIED to work things out (even though she became very distant) until I finally found she physically cheated on me. At that point I ended it. This was about 2 weeks ago. Since then, we've talked a bit, and one night she called me to tell me she "said goodbye to her ex for good" and "told him NO she wasn't get back together with him". The next day after this conversation, we hung out and he was STILL texting her, trying to get her back. Me and her have been together for nearly 7 months and this is the first time they had been consistently talking. I guess she wasn't really over him! So I told her if I would even considering working on things, she'd need to cut him off completely. She seemed confused about what she wanted, if she wanted to just be single and have time to think, etc...I already swallowed my pride by even considering a second chance, now she started pushing ME away. Not cool. So I ended it again and initiated "no contact". It's been 5 days. Yes, I miss her. But she CHEATED on me and lied about it. Not exactly the kind of person I want to be with, so I know it's for the better. The thing is, up until then she was an amazing GF...the best I've had, honestly. It was a real shocker to say the least. I won't be the one crawling back, but if she does down the road, do you think it could work? I want to give her time and space, as well as take time for myself to recover and clear my head. I feel like I could forgive her, but I KNOW better than that, ya know? It's hard when you are the one put in the position. Usually I'd say no 2nd chances but I love this girl to death.
Leveller Posted June 18, 2009 Posted June 18, 2009 I'm in the reverse position and I too have had all the confusion thing. I had been sleeping with her behind her boyfriends back in an attempt to reconcile. She wanted this to continue, to 'have her cake and eat it' so to speak, until I went NC a month ago. My advice stay NC. If she comes knocking on your door so be it but don't play this game, you would be feeding her ego and you will lose you self respect in the process.
lizzy_09 Posted June 18, 2009 Posted June 18, 2009 About a month ago she started texting her ex again, How long ago has was she been with her ex when she got involved with you? I know I wouldn't get involved with someone when I just recently broke up. It would be like comparing your former to your later. One has to heal herself first before moving to the next chapter of her life or you'll end up using the later as a scapegoat for bad experiences of your former BF.
Author Superdude87 Posted June 18, 2009 Author Posted June 18, 2009 How long ago has was she been with her ex when she got involved with you? I know I wouldn't get involved with someone when I just recently broke up. It would be like comparing your former to your later. One has to heal herself first before moving to the next chapter of her life or you'll end up using the later as a scapegoat for bad experiences of your former BF. They dated for almost 3 years, but it was on/off again. She said all together they spent about 2 years on (in 2 or 3 "sections") and 1 year off. She dumped him because there was too much pain, he treated her bad, was selfish, and she didn't see any future there. She told me a week ago that she might just need to be single and figure stuff out. She said even if me and her were done for good, she wouldn't get back with him so I dont even know if she's going straight back to him right now or what. I should be just moving on and never talk to her again. She cheated and lied, end of story. I guess it's normal to still have feelings but something tells me she can straighten out and the trust can be rebuilt. I dont know why but SOMETHING about her makes me believe it.
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