t0ri Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 I am missing my ex really badly right now. Not so much romantically, but I miss our friendship. I just want to be able to talk to him, have a normal friendly conversation, and not mention anything about he and I's failed relationship. Why does he want nothing to do with me? I don't understand how after 2 and a half years of dating, he never wants to hear or see from me again. I seriously don't get it. And I absolutely will never understand how he found it within himself to be the meanest, most coldhearted person to me. I never would've imagined him acting how he did when he broke up with me and afterward. I just miss HIM. He doesn't miss me at all? We have been NC for 2 months now, and broken up for 4 although we began to reconcile for 1 of those months. I looked at his myspace today and his mood was crappy and his status said he needs to change things up. I had an instant desire to ask him if he's alright, but I of course would never break NC. I miss being there for him and just having him there to talk with anytime. Honestly, it's super hard for me to believe he misses none of me whatsoever, but it's probably true. I want to cry Anyway, hope you all are having a better day than I am.
iBelieve In Symmetry Posted June 18, 2009 Posted June 18, 2009 I am going through this as well. It's so hard. You have to do something for me, though. Don't go on his MySpace. This is absolutely suicide in my case, since I'm 100% sure she has things on there that would absolutely kill me. So, I deleted my MySpace and told myself not to go on hers anyways to even look at her mood. And besides, I found this pointless since I'm not going to talk to her, what's the point of looking at her mood or picture? To tell her she looks nice, tell her I'm glad she's happy, or ask her why she feels bad if she does? No, since I'm in NC. There's no point in looking at those things, all it's going to do is stir up thoughts. NC is completely eliminating them from your life. As if they poofed, disappeared. If you're not talking to them it still doesn't seem like a success if you're on their MySpace checking out what they're doing. Focus completely on YOUR life. I don't look on her MySpace, blog, nothing anymore. I told her once if she wanted to contact me she knew where to reach me (email and phone... BUT I know she's not going to contact me, which is why I told her that). There's always that side of you that's hoping they want to talk to you. And there's this anxiety that doesn't leave if you know they CAN'T contact you even if they wanted. And lucky me, I'm 98% sure my ex doesn't want to contact me. So, to release my anxieties, I told her she knows how to contact me (again, knowing she wouldn't). Whenever I feel anxious to see what she's doing, how she's doing, whatever. I simply check my email. But that's as much as I allow myself to do. And since there's never an email from her on there, I just sign off and go do something else. Know what's weird, though? There's a side of me that hopes there's an email or a missed call/voicemail telling me it's her and wants to talk (since I deleted her number and don't have it memorized). But there's a side of me that I think it's bigger that doesn't want her to contact me, and feels relieved when I see no unread email or missed call. I've come up with this conclusion because everytime I check my email and the inbox is loading, I feel anxious that there'll be an email from her. What would it say? What would I reply? And whenever there's a missed call, I'm anxious while checking who it was from. And when I see there's no new email or see that the missed call is simply from my mom, all I feel it "Phew!" because I don't have to worry about what to expect, what to say, or going back to square one. But anyways, being done with checking their MS, FB, blog, etc. overall is actually very freeing.
Adi Posted June 18, 2009 Posted June 18, 2009 I am going thougt all that pain at the moment, it seems too be getting worse, since i looked at her facebook page and e-mails at first i thought great i no the truth, now i feel hurt let down and have so many questions. Bad times Adi
mm4184 Posted June 19, 2009 Posted June 19, 2009 I feel the same way. After almost 3 years of being my best friend, the guy I told everything to, and shared everything with. It's just nothing now. No contact. He hates me and listened to my ex-friends that I supposedly don't want them hanging out with him (they work together) but I just said that I want them to respect and have a little sensitivity towards me and don't want to hear about my ex and they blew it out of proportion and said I was being territorial and that I made rules that are ridiculous when I didn't. I want to fix it, but I can't. I don't want to seem like I care, even if I do. I just want us to be okay but I guess I can look at it like a blessing that I won't know anything about him since I lost those friends and they won't be telling me anything anymore. But at the same time I'm jealous and can't understand how they can be around each other and not think of me. What if he was talking to a girl, they just won't even tell me since we stopped being friends! It just hurts. I know the feeling of wanting to reach out and ask if he's ok. See what he's up to and confide in him because he's all you knew for years. Now it's all gone and there's nothing between you guys. If you find out how to get past that hurt, let me know because it's been awhile for me and it still upsets me. Not as bad as the beginning of the breakup but it's still there... Good luck and know that you're not alone.
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