br0kinhart Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 So I have been a avid "loveshacker" for the past month because my heart was torn out of my body and my life felt incomplete and in shambles. (quick recap: Im 24yr old she is 29 yr old we were in a 2 1/2yr relationship, my first time in "love" thought we would marry, kids, blah blah blah) I have been battling false hope since day 1 because "she still loves me" "our paths will cross again" "booked a vacation together for next month and never cancelled" and its made me into a complete mess. Today I met with HER after 1 month of being apart... Shes already "dating" someone and had sex last Saturday. OMG I feel like I want to throw up. I really needed to blog a bit because Im at work and I want to die. Now, the funny thing is that I thought I was going to feel EVEN WORSE!!! But I dont! I actually feel alot better then i did in the first week! And thats pretty awesome! I think I was waiting for her to do that to me so I can have some "closer" sorry for the ranting but here we go! SINCE SHE DUMPED ME I HAVE PUT THIS WOMAN ON A PEDISTAL AND FELT I WILL NEVER FIND SOMEONE LIKE HER.... I REALLY DONT KNOW IF I WILL... IM ALONE... SCARED... DEPRESSED...AND LIFE SEEMS VERY INCOMPLETE. BUT....everyone says hang in there have hope everything will work out.... and thats true but not neccessarily the way I want it.... I need someone to talk to.... HELP ME OUT LOVESHACK! I appologize for rambling.
Exit Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 I feel your pain. I am experiencing the breakup right now and some day I will probably have to experience the news that she is sleeping with someone else. I know it can't be easy but at least you made a positive out of it and used it as a way to try to move on. If it has only been a month for you there is still healing to be done. You are not "behind schedule" in any way. Being together 2.5 years will take some time to get over it. I am suffering over 1.5 years so I'm sure 2.5 isn't any better. It really sounds to me like you should stop contact at this point, unless you are strong enough to continue hearing about her exploits, and if it actually pisses you off and helps you move on. But otherwise talking to her is just opening old wounds and it might be time to try letting go for good. Join a gym, improve yourself and eliminate some stress. Exercise improves mood. Don't even set your sights on trying to find someone else like her. Find someone better.
LisaUk Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 Hi, I think you are doing fantastically well, my break up happened 3 months ago when my fiance and partner of 18 years left me without explanation or attempt to work things out, 10 months before our wedding, so I know a bit about how you feel. I think the fact that you have been able to see your ex for what she is shows remarkable strength. I would be a reck if I found out my ex was with someone alraedy. For her to move on so quickly, shows a total lack of respect for anything you shared and to tell you, shows no respect for your feelings at all. I would go no contact with her now, unless you think you can handle hearing about her new guy. However, by being in contact you give her the impression you are still there for her should this new relationship not work out, like a back up. By going no contact it will show how much respect you have for yourself and also it may show up the imprefections in her new life. If you stay around she still has you, if you see what I mean. I think given the speed that she has started seeing someone else, I know you probably won't be able to see this now, but you have had a narrow escape. She really isn't worth it. Look after yourself, take your time, take one day at a time, think no further ahead than that. Try and do things you enjoy, see friends, watch TV, whatever you like, keep busy, keep healthy and you will know when the time is right to move on. Take care, thinking of you and remember you are not alone.
Author br0kinhart Posted June 18, 2009 Author Posted June 18, 2009 Thank you Lisa, Im sorry that you have gone through these trials and tribulations with your ex. I feel your pain although your situation out-weighs mine greatly. But life goes on and what does not kill us makes us stronger... To further this maniacal break-up heres a little update: About 15 minutes after I posted this thread, my ex emails me at work.... She apologized for lying to me! She said that she went on a date on Saturday and wound up only "kissing" her date which was awkward enough and not officially sleep with him. Now her explanation for this was because I told her that "I wish I could hate you, because it may make things easier on me" so she "lied" to try and make that happen. Now Im just disappointed that this is what we amounted to... I have had so much faith in this relationship and never shared anything like this with anyone else on earth. I hope I can move on one day and find happiness again. Thank you for your support it is most appreciated!
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