jerseygirl80 Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 I am new here, actually been reading for a few weeks before I decided to make the step to join in! My Alcoholic boyfriend came home about 5 weeks ago, drunk (we lived together), stated that he didnt love me anymore, all of our problems were my fault, and that he was leaving. He grabbed a few things, and walked out of the door, and out of my life. I have never been so heartbroken in my life, and I am trying everything I possibly can to get through the excruciating pain. This is the man that had told me we were going to get married, have children, and have a long future together. I am just so depressed, and I cannot seem to pull myself out of this rut. He was a cheater, liar, and everything in between, but I just dont understand how I wasn't enough for him. I know I need to take this time to focus on myself, but it is just so hard. He hasnt reached out to me at all lately, and for this I know I should be glad, but it makes me think that I was insignificant in his life, and that he could care less about me now that he has used me and walked away. I wish I could go to sleep and wake up 2 months from now, with all of the pain and what ifs gone. I need some encouragement.
on edge Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 Wow. That sounds really intense. At this point, you need to find things to occupy your time. Start working out, get a dog, play World of Warcraft (actually, don't do that!). The way that you describe your ex is very unflattering. Alcoholic, cheater, liar, and somewhat abusive. Honestly, it sounds to me like you are much better off. I know that it is hard to see that now, but you are. There are a lot of people in the world that will treat you with the respect and care that you deserve. And in the words of Leona Lewis, "It'll all get better in time."
Author jerseygirl80 Posted June 17, 2009 Author Posted June 17, 2009 I know that I am better off. I just wish that he knew that. Sometimes it helps to hear others say it. I don't know why I need the validation, but if he would just give me an apology and admit to his wrongdoings, I think that I could move on faster. I may be waiting forever for that apology to happen.
on edge Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 It is perfectly normal to want validation. For what it's worth, I am sorry that you had to endure all of that. And if he ever gets into a 12-step program like AA, you will get your apology (I believe that it is the 3rd or 4th step).
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