Breakin Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 I'm in my 20's, just got out of a 4 year relationship, dated the girl that I loved through college and more. We lived together this past year in California. She's in her first year of law school. I got a dream job in the east coast that I always wanted, we agreed it was best for us for me to go. We had the type of relationship others admire, and everyone that we would get married. I always wanted to marry her, and we had talked about it as well. We helped each other through many tough times, and no one loves her or knows her as well as me. But we are young, and this decision for me to leave and for us to be apart was one of the most difficult things I've had to make endure. We had a great 4 years, and I loved every moment of it. Since it has ended, at first it was very tough for her, but then I ruined it because the roles switched, and I became the needy, desperate guy that I never was. Now, we don't talk, even though I slip up and e-mail her after a late night out, or call her. But she is cold now, she's moved on. I should be happy for her. I feel like I've lost her, and the girl of my dreams is gone forever. It's been 3 months...and this is how I feel... i miss you so much the days are endless, useless even when it's sunny, my world is of darkness i haven't been happy since the days I was with you i never wanted to feel this pain thoughts of you can't escape my mind every day and night, it's just me tearing me up inside i lost my best friend, my lover, my happiness, and my dreams i pray to god, to heal, to feel light once again but it just seems so hopeless, so hopeless, what am I to do I go through the days, everything is just passing by longing for the past, the promises of love like a lie floating dreams and thoughts of you, a knife sinking into my heart where did we go wrong? did we even go wrong? i loved you like no other no one can love you as hard as I loved you but that was my fault, i loved too much, and it tore us apart i didn't realize love was a two way street, ended up just being a dead end for me in some way I want to hold on, because the pain is all that I have left of you when that is gone, then I've lost you, I never wanted it to end that way, that's why it can't be the end always said forever, i didn't lie, when I said i love you, it was unconditional the only thing keeping me going, the thought of being a better, stronger man I miss you, and I love you. Always part of me. Always on mind. But no matter how I feel, I am alone..., nothings going to bring you back, gone...as the days are passing by.
Exit Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 You are just letting the lonliness get to you. You both agreed it was the best thing. You weren't completely out of your mind when you decided that. You did it for a reason. Now that you did it you think you messed up.
desertsun09 Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 You lost her when you got on that plane and left her there. I don't mean to be harsh, but it was ultimately your decision to make and you can't go back now wishing things hadn't ended up like that, because you were the one to make the decision to leave a long term relationship like that. If you really loved her, you go back to the state she's in, hit her over the head with a club, and drag her back to the east coast with you like a caveman. If you want to be with her, man up and do something about it! If not, than stop wallowing and realize that you were the one that decided to leave.
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