donnamaybe Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 Of course divorced women are happier . They get, the kids, likely the house, and a decent chunk of the man's money, especially if they haven't earned a dollar during their lives. Yay, spiritual strenght! Hmmm... Funny that my BF fought for and won custody of his and his ex's son and raised him to be a fine young man. Kinda blows your theory. In MY divorce, I DID get custody because I brought our son to all his medical/dental appointments, attended all the school meetings, took him everywhere he needed to go; basically, I did all the parenting. Of COURSE the court is going to have me continue to raise my son. As for the OT of this thread, it's difficult to decide who needs who more. I think it's on a case by case basis, but I will say that women are now in a position where they feel they have something to prove by being able to "do it all," i.e. raise their children, keep a home, and have a career, and when they do it successfully, they are proud to let it be known. Hence, they may come across as not "needing men" as much as previously when most were stay at home moms and homemakers. Some men, on the other hand, often have this need to prove something to the rest of the men on the planet as to who has the "hottest" thang on their arm. Hence, they need a woman.
Stockalone Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 "Men need women more than women need men" I do need a woman. There are so many things that I can only get from a relationship and a loving partner and I was never able to achieve that level of happiness on my own. The tendency of dismissing women as unreasonable and finicky if they're single for a long time, stands in sharp contrast with the generally sympathetic portrayal of single men. You should meet my mother then. But in general, I agree with you. Don't get me wrong. There are many great things about being single. But do I think I can deal with it, better than a guy could? Absolutely not. I think it's probably about equal--men and women just conceptualize and deal with singledom, differently. Being single is certainly better than being in a bad relationship. But for me, being single is very unfulfilling. I usually compare being single to being on bread and water. It's barely enough to survive. Just for fun, since men are so strong and independent, why are there so many, many more cynical and bitter men on LS, than women, on a pro-rata basis? It just goes to prove that women are far more resilient. I'd say that is more in line with how men deal with things that don't go as planned. At least the cynical part, I don't know about becoming bitter as a result. But it could be. A less serious answer to your question is that women already think that men are dogs. So it isn't that big of a shock to women if that preconceived opinion gets confirmed. Whereas men still believe that women are Ladies and their whole world crumbles around them if they discover that some women can be bitches. Of course those men become bitter and cynical. It's all our mothers fault for not raising us properly and preparing us for how women really are. To be honest though, I believe there is at least some (a little bit) thruth to the above. Anyways, from my wonderful father, to my brothers in law, to friends, family, and past lovers to my current partner - IME women have a "civilizing" influence on men. I could go into the myriad details, but the list is too long. My S/O often says his life would be stinkier, lonlier, and darker without my influence and my motivation. My Dad said the same thing about my Mom - she gave him a reason to be a better man. I agree.
sumdude Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 It's all our mothers fault for not raising us properly and preparing us for how women really are. Sure it's not the father's job to prepare the boys to be men?? Oh yeah, so many kids are brought up by single mother's that perhaps a solid male role model that's always there is hard to find. hmmm... Perhaps that's why a lot of men depend so much on women. If mom did everything when you were a boy.. then what would you expect from women as a man? And if a girl grows up seeing mom take care of everything without a man then what would she expect from men when she grows up?
donnamaybe Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 And if a girl grows up seeing mom take care of everything without a man then what would she expect from men when she grows up? If she grows up seeing mom NOT taking crap off men and commanding (not DEmanding) respect and giving respect to a man in her life, she can still learn what she SHOULD expect from a man.
carhill Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 Sure it's not the father's job to prepare the boys to be men?? Father to son: "Now, son, you see how much your mother loves you and I, but it's all a facade. She's really a b!tch on wheels and you must always be watching out for the b!tch axe to fall and protect yourself and your heart." or "Son, do you see how your mother treats you and I? Don't accept anything less from a woman. You deserve this. Do you see how I treat her? She deserves no less than the best of our love" I know which family I grew up in
Stockalone Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 Sure it's not the father's job to prepare the boys to be men?? It was a tongue-in-cheek comment. But I think one problem is that it is not clear what a man should be like these days. In that regard, my dad is not good role model. Without my mother, he would run out of clean clothes very fast, he would accidentally set the house on fire if he tried to cook, etc. My parents are very traditional. My mom is a SAHM and does everything inside the house (cooking, cleaning, etc.). My dad is the bread-winner and makes sure the cars are running, mows the lawn, trims the hedges, etc. If I were like my dad, I would be totally lost in today's world.
clv0116 Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 .... women have a "civilizing" influence on men. I could go into the myriad details, but the list is too long. My S/O often says his life would be stinkier, lonlier, and darker without my influence and my motivation. My Dad said the same thing about my Mom - she gave him a reason to be a better man. This is true, a good woman will motivate a good man to become better. Not really a need so much but it is a clear benefit.
sally4sara Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 I love how so many take a short cut to thinking. Blame feminism Blame single parenting These same people will continue to teach their boys nothing about how to wash their own jockeys or cook something without a microwave. And then when the boy grows up (and obese from fast food) he must quickly choose the first cute face who will do it for him only to find out 5 years later they were never going to make a good couple.....he, his friends, and parents will holler about feminism and single parenting some more. Oh Oh! And walk away wives! Lets not forget about them. What would you expect out of a young man who can't keep his carpet from molding out from under him? He isn't going to take the time to get to know the girl well before marriage. His carpet stinks to much for logical thought! or He will just keep her around for sex and maid service; get tagged as a commitment phobe. He will still be needing some woman either way.
Jersey Shortie Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 Perhaps that's why a lot of men depend so much on women. If mom did everything when you were a boy.. then what would you expect from women as a man? And if a girl grows up seeing mom take care of everything without a man then what would she expect from men when she grows up? These are great points.
shadowplay Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 I may be biased but I think men need women more than women need men. The women who really need men strongly, who can't stand being single, tend to be insecure. When a woman is completely secure with herself and emotionally healthy she can do just fine without a man. Men, on the other hand, need sex and ego validation more than women do. Also, because our culture discourages men from expressing emotion in public or even with male friends, women often become their only emotional supports. Women can always turn to friends and family for support. Finally, factor in the whole mommy thing: there are many men who can't take care of themselves because they are used to having a woman around to pick up their messes, do their laundry and cook them meals.
carhill Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 Men, on the other hand, need sex and ego validation more than women do. Also, because our culture discourages men from expressing emotion in public or even with male friends, women often become their only emotional supports. Women can always turn to friends and family for support. Good point, Shadow. I don't know if 'more' is operative wrt ego and/or sex but will submit it appears that way. I do know it's like getting blood out of turnip to get emotional support/validation from men, even men my age. Perhaps it's societal here in the US because I've noted, in some other cultures, men are more open and expressive with each other. Wrt the mommy thing, mommy did everything for tricycle boy but taught him to be independent and take care of himself. My biggest issue is the same women who seem to reject gentlemanly behaviors also appear to feel I'm 'stealing their work' when performing those domestic tasks I was taught to do. A real conundrum. Guess I need to find different women
clv0116 Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 I love how so many take a short cut to thinking. ... These same people will continue to teach their boys nothing about how to wash their own jockeys or cook something without a microwave. Talk about short circuited thinking. How was that? People who live in stone houses shouldn't throw glasses?
zhsoj Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 Alright... Yall obviously have some venting to do. All I'm saying is my dog takes care of all my emotional needs. The rest of my "needs" are taken care of with Kleenex.
Jersey Shortie Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 If men need women more then women need men, does that men men are more insecure then women overall?
zhsoj Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 If men need women more then women need men, does that men men are more insecure then women overall? May I take this moment to point out the gender of the OP?
kizik Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 Maybe we do. Maybe women are much more independent. Who knows? Instead of being so global, perhaps we should focus on the micro. Isolde: Do you feel you need men? Are you OK alone?
BubblyPopcorn Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 Off topic, but it would be interesting to see the day medical science becomes so advanced, that men are able to carry and delivery a baby. Then, I will formulate a more conclusive opinion.
Jersey Shortie Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 May I take this moment to point out the gender of the OP? Please do point out my gender. I am offering some pondering points out there. Are you able to comment on my pondering?
zhsoj Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 Please do point out my gender. I am offering some pondering points out there. Are you able to comment on my pondering? I'm saying it never would have even occurred to me to ask this question. Sorry Isolde
sally4sara Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 Maybe we do. Maybe women are much more independent. Who knows? Instead of being so global, perhaps we should focus on the micro. Isolde: Do you feel you need men? Are you OK alone? Sound advise. Is there a one size fits all blanket statement? I find no supporting evidence.
shadowplay Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 Btw, I asked my ex bf once whether the world would be better with all women or all men (assuming either gender could still procreate without through asexual division or something). He said all men because "who would build buildings, engineer stuff, run the world?" :lmao:
sally4sara Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 Btw, I asked my ex bf once whether the world would be better with all women or all men (assuming either gender could still procreate without through asexual division or something). He said all men because "who would build buildings, engineer stuff, run the world?" :lmao: Its a rhetorical question as both conditions are highly unstable and lead to extinction. Too many man - no offspring. Death of humanity. Too many women - too much offspring (sperm stores/potential female sperm from female eggs) starvation. Death of humanity.
kizik Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 You forgot this: (assuming either gender could still procreate without through asexual division or something)
Kamille Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 Didn't read the whole thread, but it reminded me of this article in the Toronto Star. http://www.thestar.com/article/648203 a bit of it: Talk about a hot-button issue: Despite women's social and economic gains over the last 35 years, more American women report being less happy. In fact, a new gender gap has emerged: men are now happier than women. The odd thing? Canadian women still reported higher happiness levels. I think humans fundamentally need each other regardless of gender and even relationships status. We need family, we need friends and we need partners. And I love being in a healthy relationship where I can count on my partner to give me support, and return the same in droves. I also agree that it's better to be single then in a bad relationship.
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