Boradaman Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 My partner and I have been together for about a year and a half now, and a problem keeps appearing that I am concerned about. I’m not sure if I am making a big deal out of something, so I would appreciate anyones thoughts on the matter. It came to my attention about 6 months ago that my partner was going out with her friends and randomly giving out her phone number to guys she had just met. She would flirt text with these guys for a day or so and then have no further contact with them. One occasion she did this whilst I was with her on a night out together (just the two of us), and she was unaware that I was watching handing out her number. I did not say anything at the time but I brought it up with her the next morning. I asked her why she did it and she responded with, “I want to make new friends and it’s nice to feel wanted by guys”. I ckecked her phone to view messages and there were about 5 message between her and this guys which were clearly flirting and agreeing the meet for a drink in a couple of weeks In my opinion this is inappropriate behavior and wrong. Based on my feelings, I shared my thoughts with my partner and asked her not to continue to do this. She felt it was a very reasonable request, said sorry and that she wouldn’t do it again, and agreed not to meet this guy for drinks. Now, just recently it happened again, 6 months after I had asked her not to do it. I feel betrayed and lied to and not sure how to handle it. She is not aware that I know she did it again, but I am interested to get other peoples thoughts on this before I fly off my handle!!! BTW – All aspects of our relationship are good, so this kind of behavior doesn’t make sense to me.
BCCA Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 Shes cheating either physically and emotionally, or just emotionally. You asked her to stop, and she didnt, because she doesnt care enough about keeping you to stop. Shes being selfish. Listen, no self respecting person, guy/girl, would tolerate that. it’s nice to feel wanted by guys Especially when youre not all that invested in the one you have.
NopeNah Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 Thread title should read: I'm leaving, to walk or run. I'd RUN LIKE HELL!!
Author Boradaman Posted June 17, 2009 Author Posted June 17, 2009 Ha ha, sorry, had to laugh at this. I'm interested in hearing more peoples views please to getting a broader perspective.
TaraMaiden Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 It's disrespectful and evidence that she doesn't take your relationships or affection seriously. Ask her where she sees you both going with this.... ask her if she feels it good, solid and a firm footed relationship. Then ask her, if that's the case - why then, does she feel the need to disrespect you and flirt with other guys? if she's so keen to make friends, go and make them. But not on your time, and not in your relationship. However: What is she not getting from your relationship that she's getting elsewhere? Are you demonstrative? Affectionate? caring? Loving? Are you holding up your end of the bargain? Are you making her feel like she's the only lady in the room, and you're the luckiest guy on earth to have her? if you don't feel this way about her, or you're not as attentive as you might be.... then maybe you both have some work to do....
NopeNah Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 Ha ha, sorry, had to laugh at this. I'm interested in hearing more peoples views please to getting a broader perspective. Wow! Why would you, on this earth, "need a broader perspective"? She's doing ****, SHE should not be doing!! She's disrespecting you, in your face, for one! Just think what she's doing when you're not there..Is she an artist by trade? Cause' she's painting a VERY clear picture in my mind! Goodluck, though!
playlislay Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 Dude, youre crazy! Unless you are in an open relationship? I agree with many of the replies-RUN!
Author Boradaman Posted June 18, 2009 Author Posted June 18, 2009 Thanks for your replies. I am still unsure how to handle this situation though. Clearly this needs to be addressed by leaving, just not sure how to say it as I want to be the bigger person in this situation.
Davey McG Posted June 18, 2009 Posted June 18, 2009 It's very easy to handle. Tell her that you want to end it and that you want out. You don't owe her any explanations, but if she asks, tell her the truth. Say that she has been disrespectful and that's why your ending. She clearly has no respect for you, otherwise she wouldn't be doing it. She will NEVER respect you because you've already let her get away with it for so long, so cut your losses.
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