rkelly1982 Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 My girlfriend of over four years and I broke up recently. She's already with someone else and I am very hurt and filled with a lot of anger. The twist is that we have a two year old daughter together and because of her age we have to see/talk on a regular basis. It's still early but I don't know how to deal with her. She calls me her best friend but considering the things she has done to me in the past it is hard to see that. Because we fought often and she gave me many reasons to not trust her, I know in the long run this is a good thing. The feeling of hope of getting back together is slowly fading. My biggest problem is seeing her all the time and dealing with my anger. How do I see and talk to her without wanting to scream at her. I would like to be friendly in the long run for the sake of our daughter but I need to heal and move on. I don't think I can be her friend right now. Does anyone have a similar story. Any advice? Thanks!
Ronni_W Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 What comes to mind is to suggest that you learn some anger release and management skills. Perhaps also stress management. A friend in a similar situation went into individual therapy to also work out issues that became apparent in the relationship, and do some grief/healing work with professional guidance. Most important, do whatever personal work you have to do so that you can bring forth the best possible Dad for your daughter -- she deserves that and will appreciate you for your efforts. Best of luck.
happy girl Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 I understand what it is like dealing with an ex when you have a child together. I went thru a similiar situation when my son was almost 2 years old. He is now 11 and does really well because his father and I have figured out how to always be decent with each other. This doesn't mean that we always agree on everything, however, we both want what is best for our son. There is nothing saying that you have to be friends with her while you are working thru your anger, because being around her more than necessary will probably be difficult on you, and your daughter will pick up on it. When my ex and I were first struggling, my son could tell something wasn't right, and he would hit me. Kids feel their parents emotions. I would recommend doing whatever it takes to get past your anger and when you find yourself bothered by your ex, keep in mind that it is about your daughter, NOT YOUR EX.
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