Crystal37 Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 Okay so I was at this party with people from a school called Eere with my friends. it was fun and what not. So i meet this one guy Fred that i thought was super fine but i'm 16 and he's well......4 or 5 years older than me. so when it was almost over, out of no where we start hooking up and it was nice, we talked and he's super nice and then he got my number. After that day we texted almost everyday for a couple of weeks. Then one day we were texting and i asked him what he was doing tonight, and when he replied one of my friends said to tell him to pick us up. then he replied back saying no sorry i cant haha i have a full car tonight. and then my friend thought that was rude i guess and told me not to reply back and i didn't. so a week past and he didnt text me at all. and then one of the boys from Eere called me and said he was having a get together at his house and that me and my friends should come through. I knew Fred was there because he's always with the people from Eere, and he texted me that night and asked me howve ive been. i knew he did this so it wouldn't be awkward and he wanted to do stuff prob blah blah. so when i get there and sit down he says hi to me first and were talking a little. and the whole time while i was talking to other people, he was staring at me. and then he texts me and asks if i want to go outside, he goes first then i do. so were talking and we mess around a little then talk more, then when i leave he walks me to the car and says bye. he texts me after i left and said it was nice seeing you and were talking a little then he says he going to bed and that i should hit him up tmrw. this was friday, i didnt hit him up saturday and he hasnt texted me since then. when i was gone on friday with him, people in the party were saying it was weird cuz he is hella old and im hella young. are they giving him sh*t for hooking up with me? whud that make him not want to talk to me or feel guilty? i don't know what to do. shud i text him first (although i never do, he usually texts me first)?? i know that a relationship won't come out of this because he's too old but i just want to talk to him. What shoud i do, and what do you think?
LadyChele Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 You don't think it is weird that a 20-21 year old is hanging out with high school kids?
girl68 Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 I think: nothing but trouble. And I can ABSOLUTELY GAURENTEE his friends are ragging on him. Some of it in a "way to score bro!" kind of way... and some of it "eww, jail bait dude..." kind of way. None of that looks good on you. The first case, you're young, and easy. The second case you're young and dumb. So my advice, is keep it stricly friendly. Yes, he texted you at before the party because he wanted some action. Yes, he told you to text him the next day so he could meet up with you and get some action. No, he doesn't want to pick you and your friends up (and he wasn't being rude... your friend was for asking... but I believe you said she TOLD you to TELL him (not ask) for a ride. That was wrong on you and your friend not him. No, he doesn't want a relationship with you. No, he doesn't want to date you. Yes, he wants to score what he probably thinks is a "tight" umm... you know... Is it harsh, and blunt? Yes. Is this how boys... (or young, young men) think? Yes, unfortuately it is. Give up on him, find a nice guy more your age.
girl68 Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 You don't think it is weird that a 20-21 year old is hanging out with high school kids? HAHAHA goooood point!
LadyChele Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 HAHAHA goooood point! I agree with your point as well, I think it was wrong for her to assume that he would want to go pick her and her friends up, and she probably didn't ask. I have a 14 year old, I know how teens act lol
girl68 Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 I was a teen, now I'm not. I am also the young one. And yes, even adults get ragged on for younger girls- definately more so at your age. (FYI I was 22 and he was 30 when we hooked up). We still get the occasional comment, or joke.
LadyChele Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 I was a teen, now I'm not. I am also the young one. And yes, even adults get ragged on for younger girls- definately more so at your age. (FYI I was 22 and he was 30 when we hooked up). We still get the occasional comment, or joke. Age is not that big of a deal after say about 21 or so, like the guy I just started seeing is 6 years older than me. I don't think I could ever date someone more than 2 or 3 years younger than me.
girl68 Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 I totally would if I was 45 and single. Hellllllooooooooooooo MILF. Ha!
butcher's hook Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 If you see a relationships won't come out of this then what is the point? what do you hope to get out of it? I don't see a problem with the age difference at all. It's not like he is 30 he is only 21 and you are not 12. Personally I think he doesn't make an obvious move with you because that's all he wants is someone to have sneaking fun times with but that's about it. Probably because he feels there is a certain social taboo with being with someone who is so much younger but if you think about it what's the big deal really?
Author Crystal37 Posted June 16, 2009 Author Posted June 16, 2009 You don't think it is weird that a 20-21 year old is hanging out with high school kids? well his brother goes to that school, and he said that him and his brother are really close so there together all the time i guess
girl68 Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 You don't see a problem with 16 and 21? One is legal, one is far from. One is in highschool one is not. One has significant driving experience, the other is carless. Alright, I guess we'll see if you have a problem with your highschooled baby girl influenced by a college jock. THEN... we'll see.
amymarieca Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 I can say that most likely he is only interested in sleeping with you, since the only time he is showing interest is when you two mess around. The difference between 16 and 21 is much bigger than two people who are 30 and 35. I would just avoid him!
Author Crystal37 Posted June 16, 2009 Author Posted June 16, 2009 like i dont want a relationship with him or anything, like just maybe to have funn and stuff nothing toooooo intense i already know that, but yeahh it just seems ever since my friend told me to text him that day we stopped talking
Citizen Erased Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 To be honest, it is kind of creepy. I'm his age and I'd never hang around with a bunch of 16 year olds, let alone hook up with any of them. To me it sounds like he wants to fool around. That's all well and good, but find someone else closer to your age. You know, that isn't looking for jail bait.
butcher's hook Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 If you don't want a relationship then what do you want? Sex? because that is what he will want if he does not want a relationship. I would let my teen daughter date older guys (within reason 16/21 is fine) provided she has strong values and was not sexually easy. If she is going to be sexually deviant then it doesn't matter if he is 21, 16 or 12 she cannot be trusted to make good choices regardless.
LadyChele Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 When I was 17 I dated a 21 year old, and my mother tried to warn me, but you can never know for sure until he hurts you. Luckily before things got too bad I had joined the military.
Author Crystal37 Posted June 16, 2009 Author Posted June 16, 2009 definitely no dating this dude and no sex, but i dont know just to hangout around and have funn i guess
amymarieca Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 definitely no dating this dude and no sex, but i dont know just to hangout around and have funn i guess I have a lot more experience under my belt and can definitely say that this guy just wants to get laid. Part of the appeal is that you are technically "jail bait." It happens all the time. I wouldn't go into this thinking you guys are going to be friends. Most normal 21 year old people would not be friends with someone who is 16. You say you don't want sex but you have messed around with him. One thing will definitely lead to another because clearly you are attracted to him. Don't be naive and put yourself in a situation where you know you will end up getting used.
MeMyself&I Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 Crystal, When I was 16, I dated a guy 4 years older than me. He was my first and we dated for 3 years. When I was 18, Feb of my Senior Year, I moved in with him and lived with him for over a year. I don't regret it. He was the love of my life. Although now when I run into him the feelings are over and I wonder why. My mom hated my dating him and now as a mother I see why. But what I'm trying to say is this is all relative to the people involved in the relationship. My guy was patient for sex. He waited 4 mths. So you just have to read the signs. Know if he seems sincere or flaky. Good luck.
ON MY OWN Posted June 18, 2009 Posted June 18, 2009 I dated a guy when I was 17 who was 20 and it worked out fine. We had a normal relationship, he met my parents, was a nice man that was genuine whom I talk with many years later. It depends on the two people, their chemistry and thoughts on a relationship as well as the age/relationship issue. If you dont feel he is interested and has already messed around with you, dont fool yourself and save yourself the self torture as it is not hard to do sometimes when you really are into someone. Be true to yourself and save yourself from heartache if thats the route you feel it is taking. Many young girls do this, I know I was one and hung around a number of them also. Best of luck to you!!
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