NoDrama Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 I've known this guy for a decade and we dated off and on in our 20's. We overall had fun, were great friends, etc... Then we moved on and lost touch for about 5 years.... He suddenly gets in contact with me a few months ago and states that for the last 5 years he's done nothing but think about me - even when he was in a few relationships. He asks me to dinner to explain/chat in-person, which at first I refuse because I don't think we're exactly a match (even though I think he's a really fun and cool guy). I still want to be friends with him - we had some good times and I do like him. Regardless, the guy is pouring his heart out over text messages -- telling me how we're meant to be, it's fate, apologizing for whenever he was a jerk to me, I was the nicest girl, etc. He would after that occassionally text message me with the same type of stuff. Then suddenly make rude comments...Jekyl & Hyde type of behavior. I'd call him out on being rude for no reason, and he'd apologize. A week ago, I asked him if I could take him up on his dinner offer to chat since I would be in-town (we live a few hours away from each other right now), and the day before he comes up with a lame excuse and cancels. Then the night I get back home, he wants to see me. *sigh* Yeah, after I spent days in the same city he was in, then suddenly he wants to see me after I'm home. He tells me that he can't quite explain what is going on inside him -- he holds himself back because he thinks he's no more special than any other guy I've been with -- he loves me, then he hates me, he thinks about me ALL the time and wants me back, he thinks it's fate (but can barely except it for some reason), etc. I ask him to explain and he said it's one of those in-person conversations. I think that is fine and understandable. So, a week later I ask him to get together (again) since I'll be in-town -- he says he already has plans on going out of town with friends. Whenever I contact him -- he takes a day or two to get back with me. He seems aloof when I try to get together or chat, but then when we're chatting or he initiates, he's all into me. Point blank: I'm tired of the rollercoaster, it's making me dizzy. For curiosity, extenguish the confusion, whatever...I want to get together with him so we can put to rest this rollercoaster of emotions and finally just be normal friends or whatever. Why does this have to be so freakin' difficult?! And unfortunately I'm the killed cat, because curiosity is getting the best of me right now. The best way to achieve this is good old fashion communication, which obviously is kinda hard to do via phone, email, text. Why does he have to be "hot and cold" "back and forth"; confused (and therefore confusing me)?? *sigh* Sorry for the long note, but just wanted to explain to help you help me. What is going on with him -- why is he acting this way?? I hate that it is stirring curiosity, confusion, and frustration in me! What can I do to possibly get together with him once and for all to talk?
lizzy_09 Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 After reading your side of the story, it's giving me a headache too. LOL. Since every time you planned to drop by and have the only chance to get to see him while he puts it off. And when your far away, he then informs you that he has the time for you already. Hhmmmm.......In my opinion, he's only good just being your friend. Cause if you take him seriously, he'll totally break you heart. The next time he tries to make contact and ask you out while your far away from him, ask him out right what he really wants from you and explain that he's only good when your far away and when your there he's a total jerk. So, what's the point in making all this plans when all he does is not live by it.
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