Ratikal Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 My story is complex. I'm currently 17 and she recently turned 17. I recently just had a break up for the second time with the same girl. It's been killing me all week. Basically, she said she couldn't be in a relationship right now and that she has alot of **** to do. She's moving in 2 weeks so losing all her friends I guess is stressful. So, we don't talk for a couple of days. Then, I ask for her friendship because I missed her and she accepts. I then realize that she is developing feelings for another man at her hometown. She always told me about this guy when we were together, and I was cautious. The first time we broke up was because she cheated on me. She ended up going in another LDR and just broke my heart. I chased after her and eventually won her back, but she then went out with a dude who she says reminds her of me. So, after that whole fiasco, I cut all communication with her. It was only this September we started talking again. Now, she says she's all confused. She told me yesterday that this dude doesn't feel the same way and she feels like ****. Yet, she still has feeligns for me, and always had. She feels "really really sorry" about hurting me. Yet, even after asking if we could be happy together again, she denies me. She just doesn't know right now....and I don't either. I hope I explained that well enough. Why I still want her even after all of this, I don't know. But she just has this charm that I love... She was always there to talk to, very sweet, shy, kind, and pretty damn hot to boot (puetro ricans man, rawr). I just don't know what to do. I just get feelings of grief constantly...I always dream about us being together face to face. We actually agreed to go to the same college, and she still is thinking about it... I just don't know if it's worth trying to win her back...I just feel like I won't find anyone else like her. Like, I was really lucky to have a such a girl and its horrible to lose her. What do you mates think I should do, is she worth it? If not, how can I convince myself? I always keep thinking about her and its driving me nuts. Hell, I'm supposed to be working but instead I'm typing this up. Man, I don't even know if what I'm asking makes sense, thats how crazed up I am. Thanks for reading.
euroguy1212 Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 I'm having girl troubles myself, so maybe I'm not the best one to give advice. But my recommendation is to limit your contact and only contact her when she contacts you. Don't sit there and wait . . . give it a few hours, a few days even (depending on the case) and respond. I'm a bit troubled she would cheat on you, though, and I'm not sure if she's a keeper for that reason. Is there any reason why she did that? Did you do anything that might have pushed her to cheat? Although 17 is still young. I'm starting to realize we may have multiple loves in our life, only time can determine and circumstance can determine the keepers.
Author Ratikal Posted June 16, 2009 Author Posted June 16, 2009 I guess she cheated on me because I really wasn't there at the time. I was pretty busy irl. She said that the whole thing was a huge mistake and regrets it. She also says that she kicks herself over it and still does even now. I don't want her to feel this way though, I really want her to forget it and let us just be happy together. I'm not sure if I do want her to be honest. I'm beginning to wonder if I just miss the whole feeling of love. Its just so magical...
euroguy1212 Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 It could be because of her age, too. My ex is 19. I'm 25. I'm in the mind frame where I am ready to commit and settle down whereas I think she's in the mind frame to explore her options. We have been together for a year and had our ups and downs. I don't think I was there emotionally for mine as much either. She probably got bored. If you do get her back, tried to add some spice and excitement to your life. Don't contact her daily and leave her always on a good note, wanting more. Until they're ready to settle down, I feel that's all you have to do. I don't know if I could date young again, to be honest.
BCCA Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 The first mistake in this is that youre telling yourself that she is 'winnable' if you tried hard enough. Not true, not at all. People are not prizes, they are a lot more complex than that. Litterally nothing you could possibly do could convince this girl to give you another shot if she doesnt want to. If she thought it was a mistake, she would ask for another chance. If I had to guess, I would say that shes trying to be nice, but has no intentions of getting back with you. Next, realize that at your age, there is close to 0% chance of this being the girl you marry and spend your life with. There is much to experience in life, and you are far too young to worry about one girl that leaves you. I know if stings now, but in a few years, youll realize how nonsensical it was to think that at 17 you should be getting too serious. Lastly, she went to another guy, deal breaker. What message does that send if you take her back? "Hey, feel free to dump me and hang out with other dudes. I might be hurt, but Ill take you back" Im guessing thats not the message you want to send. Cut her out of your life completely. Dont talk to her about the relationship, or anything else, anymore - period.
Author Ratikal Posted June 16, 2009 Author Posted June 16, 2009 Lastly, she went to another guy, deal breaker. What message does that send if you take her back? "Hey, feel free to dump me and hang out with other dudes. I might be hurt, but Ill take you back" Im guessing thats not the message you want to send. Cut her out of your life completely. Dont talk to her about the relationship, or anything else, anymore - period. You're completely right. She can go find a doormat. Maybe this faggot will be the doormat. I deleted everything related to her. Everything except our chat log, that ****s kinda dear to me. Anyways, thanks for your advice. But who knows, maybe I may come back...or maybe some woman will come sweep me off my feet. Either way, I just gotta realize, shes a psycho bitch. Just gotta continue living my life....not being a doormat...
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