HP1502 Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 My BF and I have been in a relationship for approx 1 year. The problem is he owns the company I work for (he is not my boss directly) and The position I hold in the company is also at a senior level. Big issue from the beginning. Ok so here goes im completely confused about him. We had a huge fight on Sunday in relation to him telling his family about us (his brothers and father aslo own the company). He said that he couldnt do it and never will. Well i know where that leaves me so I told him there was no point in us carrying on and he agreed. Lots of tears etc. He says he loves me but is afraid of the response he will get from family members regarding our relationship. They can be quite agressive as i have witnessed that myself. I asked him if he wanted to be with me and he said no. I asked why and he said FAMILY. But he loves me? Confused!! I told him that if he really loved me he would tell them. Am i being too harsh? The way in which he said it too me was just awful he really hurt me. Now tonight he wants to see me to discuss it? Why? Im, not sure how can you tell someone you love them but dont want to be with them??? Im not sure as to wether to agree to see him or not. He did say that if i looked for another job it would be easier. Do you think i should talk to him or tell him where to go??
Exit Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 That's your call. I don't see the harm in hearing what he has to say. I feel if he really loved you he would not let family stop him. But maybe he fears for YOUR job, and that's why he talks about you working somewhere else. Aggressive families can be very hard to deal with but it still shouldn't stop someone from being in love. If you care about him I would hear what he has to say. If he only suggests a bunch of different ways to avoid the issue, getting a different job, still not telling his family, etc, then it may not be worth it. See if he has anything good to say.
Author HP1502 Posted June 16, 2009 Author Posted June 16, 2009 Thanks for that. I may speak to him tonight not sure if i can handle yet though. My thoughts would be the same as yours if he loved me he wouldnt care. But sure people do say that sometimes love is not enough!!! Im not sure if its just an excuse though because he doesnt want to commit to me. Im so confused!!
Cinnamon777 Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 If you get another job, will he be willing to tell his family about you then? If the answer is still no... let him go. If he doesn't want to tell them right now because you are an employee, and if you both want this to work out, then I might go find a different job. If he will continue the relationship, help you find a new position with a different company, and if he will then will proudly introduce your relationship to his family... then... you have something worth working on with him. If he loves you but doesn't want to help you or be with you and sticks with the "never" telling them... then you need to let him go before more time lapses. You don't deserve to be a secret and should be able to openly love each other. Either way, I think I would look for another job if possible. Listen to your intuition tonight when you are talking with him... even if it tells you what you don't want to hear, it's always right.
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