skreen23 Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 Well i went over yesterday to collect the rest of my stuff from our old place (me and the ex have being apart for 2 months now) and decided maybe this was a good time to say goodbye as she is living close by with her parents at the mo. I rang her up to see if that was ok and then headed down to meet her. Don't know if that was a mistake now but frig it no use crying over spilt milk. Anyway i called over and met her, good lord in heaven she looked and sounded awful. She has lost loads of weight, acted really tense, could'nt make eye contact, generally seemed very fragile. I tried my best to keep things light but when someone is like that its impossible. We "chatted" for a while and she admitted she wasn't sleeping or eating properly. I was so angry before this but once i met her i just felt sorry for her. I really hope we get back together in the future. I feel guilty about saying this but a small part of me is happy to see her suffer like this, that this is a sign she misses me. Most of all though i want to see her happy. Why is life so complicated. Wish i was a dog.
TaraMaiden Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 I still don't get from your posts & threads, who dumped who, or even why.... But if you are well and truly separated, much as you may care about her - you have to leave her alone to heal and get over things in her own way. You could try writing an e-mail, to give her final closure, and mention that you are concerned, and that you hate to see her unhappy, but put nothing in there which might give her false hope or mess with her mind. Give her a farewell, and 'hope you will be happy'.... Show her you care about her, but don't lead her on. Then tell her you're going NC. And go NC.
Author skreen23 Posted June 16, 2009 Author Posted June 16, 2009 We were going out for six years and engaged for 3. We went on a break 2 months ago and she broke it off (not my willy but the relationship) a week and a bit ago. Her reason for break up was apparently she wanted to prove to herself she could stand on her own two feet. I'm Irish, an aries, have an ingrowing toenail, perfect eyebrows which i don't have to pluck, occassionally drink to access and am deadly in bed. She is a gorgeous, sexy, intelligent young lady who for some mad reason can't see how wonderful she is. By the by its not clear to me what NC means, no condoms, no career, night cock, nose cotton, nice cake???? God i'm so irritable.
Marina09 Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 NC means No Contact!! But you should only use that when you're trying to get over someone, and it seems to me that you still love each other...
TaraMaiden Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 no Contact (though No Cock would also be appropriate.....) I advise you to read this thread and stick with it. But send her that note first. And find out whether she wants to get back with you. It's her call. if she says no - then you'll have to take it on the chin, and do the above......
Author skreen23 Posted June 16, 2009 Author Posted June 16, 2009 Yeah, nice thread. Was doing my best to keep up the whole no cock thing going but the prob was we bought a car together just before we broke up from my sister. The money from the car was going towards my sisters wedding (in august). Anyway when we first broke up i mentioned payment for the car but as the weeks went by still no money so when i saw her two days ago it was to collect the last of my stuff, say goodbye properly and sort the car out. Kind of three birds with one stone and would take away any more excuses to see here again. When we were talking i let her know how i felt, told her good luck in college, asked her to not to worry about me .etc etc. Not entirely sure how i feel at the mo, most times i'm grand but when i'm on my own i just break down. I'm like a woman having her period, mood swings and bursting out crying.
Author skreen23 Posted June 16, 2009 Author Posted June 16, 2009 Oh, appreciate the advice tara but we've only been offically broken up for about 10 days and i reckon i laid my cards on the table when we said goodbye. Hope this works out
TaraMaiden Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 .... I'm like a woman having her period, mood swings and bursting out crying. Well,it's good that you have empathy... actually, this is very much what it feels like...it's the pits, isn't it....? Oh, appreciate the advice tara but we've only been offically broken up for about 10 days and i reckon i laid my cards on the table when we said goodbye. Hope this works out I hope it does work out for you. But as I said, it's really her call....no matter how much of a good idea you think it would be to get back together again, no matter how much you feel you want to take care of her, if she's not willing to play ball, it's a downright shame. But from what I can see, it's her loss.... Take care.
Author skreen23 Posted June 16, 2009 Author Posted June 16, 2009 Yeah, the ball is well and truly in her court. No choice now but keep up no cock as best i can
runner Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 By the by its not clear to me what NC means, no condoms, no career, night cock, nose cotton, nice cake???? 'no cock' it is then :lmao: g'luck mate, it'll take time. keep busy for now ay
Author skreen23 Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 Little bit pissed off at the mo, its just been a little over a week since i last talked to her and its taken a lot of effort not to call. Anyway today i've a day off but i've been in foul form all day. So i get a phone call from the ex and i answer (bad idea). When i answer the phone shes talking in this WEIRD tone, she goes it "Ex's name" here. What!!!!! We had being going out 6 years, i talked to her last week, how in the name of humanity could i forget her voice so soon? She then goes i'm just ringing about the cars paperwork, when i heard that i was'nt a happy camper. 6 years of being lovers/best friends and she rings like i'm some kind of citizen advice thing. Anyway i told her i'm totally ignorant about that kind of stuff (huge elephant sized lie). She then goes "thats all i rang about" so i said "ok bye" and hung up before she could say anything. I'm just so angry now, i deserve a lot more respect than this bollox.
Leveller Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Beats me what she is playing at and what, if any, role you had in her decision. Seems totally incomprehensible to me.
Author skreen23 Posted June 25, 2009 Author Posted June 25, 2009 Went for a few beverages last night with an old friend, got hammered drunk. Some italian girl said i looked like george clooney, a lie but made me feel good, bless her. Today i went over to the town my ex is from to meet a fella about a business idea. I parked outside this guy's shop and guess the first person i saw, my ex. She crossed the street and we started to chat. She looked fantastic, bit skinny but looked really well. We chatted for a bit and everything seemed fine so i asked if she wanted to go for a coffee, she agreed. So as we were walking down the street i brought up the previous phone call and explained why it annoyed me (looking back not a great idea). So we talked a bit more and i was all smiles, pleasant, being friendly. We almost got as far as the cafe and she goes she's not comfortable going for a coffee with me. I smiled, said fair enough and walked away. About ten mins later i rang her and said "i'm sorry if i freaked you out earlier" and she just goes "Yeah, but you did." Its strange, 6 years together treated her really well, really close to her family, travelled alot together (Peru, Morocco, States, Germany, Narnia), she helped me when my father died 2 years ago, fantastic 6 years. Through this break-up i respected her wish for space, did'nt stalk her, tried to be understanding, tried my best not to pressure her. The result being she can hardly stand to be around me and my very few attempts at communication are met with either nervousness or today hostility. I love this girl but God in heaven i don't get her at the moment at all.
hoping2heal Posted June 26, 2009 Posted June 26, 2009 Furthermore, I'm starting to get the idea that her despair isn't over you. Was there some other guy in the picture you knew about? Because she sounds heart broken, just not over you. It would also explain her behavior towards you.
Author skreen23 Posted June 26, 2009 Author Posted June 26, 2009 Nah, there isn't another guy, even though shes a gorgeous woman her self confidence is almost zero. Since a little before christmas there has been a series of crisis in her family and this has taken a toll. Also in september shes starting college in a new city and i think she sees this as a new start and alas i'm not part of that. Had a mad dream last night. Was at a party with some old friends i haven't seen in ages and also some strangers. I was sitting in one corner with a sulk on and my ex was in the other corner unhappy to. Any time she talked to me i was awkward and uncomfortable. Anyway a friend of my ex was there and she had a halo, a glow around her. She walks over to me and says "This is so stupid, its obvious you guys still love each other." Later on in the dream the ex's friend goes "You're a good looking man and you'll have no problem finding someone else. We all really miss you so don't be a stranger." Then she bent over and kissed my cheek. Subconcious is amazing.
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