mpower95 Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 So I've got an interesting situation here and would love some input. So two weeks ago my friend invites his new girlfriend out and i totally hit it off with her best friend. Now here is the kicker....I also find out that she has a 7 week old daughter and that father of the child left her when he found out she was pregnant. On top of this I hear that he left her to marry another woman. So before the night ends I do ask for her number and she provides it. Here is the weird part. I call a few days later to invite her out with my friends but I get the voice mail. I leave a message and never get a call back. Fast forward to yesterday....I call again to invite her out to my friends bday party this coming thursday and once again the voice mail. I leave a message and still no return call. Keep in mind that my friend with the coming party is the one dating her best friend. I'm confused as to why she doesn't answer my calls and never has returned my two calls. Normally when I hit it off that good with a woman, we would be dating soon after. I never made an attempt to contact her in between the two phone calls, because I don't want her to think I'm some creepy guy. So let me know what you think. Should I continue to keep asking her to go out? Did she perharps just lose interest is me? Since her best friend is seeing my friend, the possibility of seeing her again in a group setting is fairly high. If I happen to see her this thursday at my friends bday party, my plan was to act normal as if I never called her.
True2form Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 Well, seems to me like you have an idea of what you're going to do sorted. Speaking as a woman, I do find this behaviour strange. Was the phone ON and rang first or did it keep going straight to voicemail with no rings at all. She could have given you an old number or something by mistake. Or...well let's think about this. Babies = HARD WORK. She's probably having a lot of sleepless nights and doing nothing else in the day but looking after her child and rightly so. She might not have time to come out or even check her phone which probably fell behind the couch about three weeks ago... If worst comes to worst she probably just decided that you're not right as a father figure, could you take on such a young child? Begin to bond with it and let it know you as daddy? That's a big thing for a man to take on and I respect any man to the bottom of my heart who does that, but I also respect a man who puts his hands up and says "You know what I can't do this" well before they get involved and avoid hurting anyone's feelings. Good luck I hope you get your answers soon!
cyril's fan Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 Maybe she's still feeling hurt after what the guy, who impregnated her, did and isn't ready to jump into the dating scene. Still, it'd be nice if she had answered/returned your call and told you she doesn't want to go out or see anyone yet, if that was really how she felt. Perhaps you can ask your friend what happened to her? Just a thought.
Author mpower95 Posted June 16, 2009 Author Posted June 16, 2009 I'm sure she is very busy with the child, and I respect that. I understand that the child is her #1 priority, but still it would have been nice of her to at least return my call. I'm a guy that is not easily deterred, however I am dissapointed that the situation with this woman has not gone as expected. In regards to stepping up and being a father figure for the child, that is not an issue for me. I don't have any kids of my own, but if a relationship between me and this woman came to fruition I would do my best to be a father figure for the child. I admit that its a scary thought for me, but I'm 28 and have already come to terms that more and more women around my age are single parents these days. In the end, it is what it is. Despite the current situation, I feel confident that I'm not out of the ballgame yet.
Author mpower95 Posted June 16, 2009 Author Posted June 16, 2009 Maybe she's still feeling hurt after what the guy, who impregnated her, did and isn't ready to jump into the dating scene. Still, it'd be nice if she had answered/returned your call and told you she doesn't want to go out or see anyone yet, if that was really how she felt. Perhaps you can ask your friend what happened to her? Just a thought. If she doesn't show up this thursday, I'll ask my friend.
Kaizen Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 Well, it's been 9 months and 7 weeks since her irresponsible ex left her knocked up and married someone else. In that time, her trust for men has gone down to 0 or less. Be careful here. If you really like this woman you have to give her a chance knowing she has a lot of baggage. Re paragraph 3, her phone could be broken or her 7 week-old baby could be keeping her busy. Since she doesn't know your # she is not rejecting your call. Since you left two vms she knows you are trying to get a hold of her. If she wanted to get a hold of you she would talk to her friend whom you should also speak to. You left two vms with some time in-between: you are not creepy and have nothing to worry about. To me you sound like a solid guy. If she is into you at all she'll call back. Otherwise, relax when you see her and mention jokingly that "she is a hard woman to get a hold of". See what happens. DON'T act like you never called (aka don't lie!).
cyril's fan Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 If you really like this woman you have to give her a chance knowing she has a lot of baggage. DON'T act like you never called (aka don't lie!). Good points. I should add that I like that mpower95 said that he's not easily deterred. That's invaluable in a man. I hope this works out for you.
Author mpower95 Posted June 16, 2009 Author Posted June 16, 2009 Well, it's been 9 months and 7 weeks since her irresponsible ex left her knocked up and married someone else. In that time, her trust for men has gone down to 0 or less. Be careful here. If you really like this woman you have to give her a chance knowing she has a lot of baggage. Re paragraph 3, her phone could be broken or her 7 week year-old baby could be keeping her busy. Since she doesn't know your # she is not rejecting your call. Since you left two vms she knows you are trying to get a hold of her. If she wanted to get a hold of you she would talk to her friend. You left two vms with some time in-between: you are not creepy. If she is into you at all she'll call back. Otherwise, relax when you see her and mention jokingly that "she is a hard woman to get a hold of". See what happens. DON'T act like you never called (aka don't lie!). Thanks for the input, and you have a good point about not telling a lie. I guess the key here is to tell the truth in a joking manner and just be relaxed about it.
boogieboy Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 I think she is feeling really hurt and vunerable right now, she just pushed out a calf thats a reminder her of her ex 7 weeks ago. So now all her old hurt feelings were probably brought back. Maybe. She probably gave you her number because she was to afraid of your aggressiveness to tell you no, or she gave it to you to boost her ego and make her self feel better that she is still desireable. You already know what the answer is, you already figured it out. When she doesnt answer, or call back, it means only one thing. She ISNT interested. You really put too many expectations on getting in touch with her, which you shouldnt have, which is why you are posting here. Hurry up and go out and get a number from a new chick so you can forget about this girl. She's got baggage that you do NOT want to deal with.
Author mpower95 Posted June 17, 2009 Author Posted June 17, 2009 You already know what the answer is, you already figured it out. When she doesnt answer, or call back, it means only one thing. She ISNT interested. You really put too many expectations on getting in touch with her, which you shouldnt have, which is why you are posting here. Hurry up and go out and get a number from a new chick so you can forget about this girl. She's got baggage that you do NOT want to deal with. I've already prepared myself for that fact, and I totally understand what you're talking about. I'm definitely not sitting on the sideline waiting for this girl exclusively. I did put more expectation into this than I should have, but what can I say... I'm just human. I hit it off with her and my emotions took it from there. If nothing comes out of it, I'll be fine.
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