mr.dream merchant Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 Its the fourth day of our break/breakup. 3rd day of NC for me. 4th for her. I had alot I needed to get out. I took a couple days of relaxing with friends and family to let the initial pain seep out and prevent it from entering my communication with her. The point of these text messages was to let her know what my take on this break is, not just a 100% her terms kind of thing. Anyways this is what I said (Some of it has a backstory so if it doesn't make sense, that's why ie. the marriage part): "Marrying you on your dream date was never a question for me and in the car on Wednesday I can't help but feel like you thought I was telling you I didn't want to marry you. I just didn't want to marry you with problems evident in our relationship. I just want you to be happy. I'm only human and right now things are hard because I don't know if this is a break of if you'll never want to be with me again. These last couple of days I've been realizing alot about myself. Its actually been helpful in appreciating the type of person you are. As much as I want to and would love to have you back love is also about letting go. Hopefully this time apart will ultimately lead you back into my arms. To me, this is a break for us, and before it goes on any longer I just want to let you know that I'm not going to be seeing anybody else. Gonna take this time to better myself for the only one I want. I'm not even going to ask that you do the same because I trust you to do what's best for you and I'll always be supportive of that. If I don't hear from you ever again babygirl you already know the drill on how Papa Bear feels about you. I love you with all my heart. Happy Thirteen (Our 13 month anniversay today)." I tried to keep it as honest as possible without sounding needy and clingy or beggy. I just told her some from the bottom of her my heart **** and kept it moving. If she never hits me back it won't matter because I know that I was able to express my feelings to her, to get them through to her. That was the hardest part about this for me. Ending things without letting her know how I really feel. Some may say this is a bad move, some won't. But I did what I thought was best for her and I, and I'm sure both parties will appreciate it. Only time will tell my friends! But it is up to YOU to choose what to do with that time. Me? I've been getting out alot more. Enjoying my friends and family. A little alcohol here and there. I have NOT been horny NOR have I considered (not for a while) getting into any sort of relationship with any females other than friends and family. This is notches up the ladder for me, and its the only way I can bring myself to look at it. I win either way. And so does she, and that's all it takes to keep me smiling. I love so with all my heart, regardless of who she's with. So let this be some shred of hope for others on their first day, or second, or maybe their first week. Its only been 4 days for me. 4 tough days. The world is yours but that don't mean that it'll wait for you. Take command of your life. I'm just now getting back onto my saddle, its time to ride it out till the fat lady sings, be it sober or drunk. But believe when I say that I'm getting back up when I fall. You should to.
TaraMaiden Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 What part of 'No Contact' do you not understand? You should have written all this down in a letter, put it in a drawer and forgotten about it. I personally don't think it was a good idea, but if you think it's drawn a line under stuff.....
Author mr.dream merchant Posted June 16, 2009 Author Posted June 16, 2009 I thought it was a good idea, alot was left unsaid on my part so I figured I'd just clear that up and keep it moving. By drawing a line under stuff, what do you mean?
LisaUk Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 I've done nothing but give the same reasons for texting, calling, e-mailing my ex (was with him 18 years, until he jilted me 10 months before our wedding)!, for the last 3 months since he left without trying to work things out, hell, I did not even know he thought there were problems.(Think he may have CP). All it has done has caused me more pain. Go total NC, sometimes actions speak louder than words, by not contacting her, if she misses you and wants you she will come back, if not then you are better of without her, with someone who appreciates you and loves you. Don't wait for her, concentrate on yourself and move forward with your life.
Exit Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 Ok so you sent her a couple messages, you say it was about closure and getting a few things off your chest. Good, now that's in the past, don't let this develop into a reason to start talking to her more and more often. You said what you had to say and the ball is in her court.
TaraMaiden Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 I thought it was a good idea, (. . .) By drawing a line under stuff, what do you mean? I mean that it's now over and done with, dun & dusted, finito, schtum, drop it and move on, close the book, and that's it. Ok so you sent her a couple messages, you say it was about closure and getting a few things off your chest. Good, now that's in the past, don't let this develop into a reason to start talking to her more and more often. You said what you had to say and the ball is in her court. It doesn't matter where the ball is...Don't pick it up and run with it.
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