Kane13 Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 [sIZE=2]Hi Everyone, I have an issue I'd like to get peoples opinions on. I recently signed up on an adult website for a bit of fun, so basically its got that theme of people looking for a hookup / f*** buddies as opposed to regular dating. Some people put some quite graphic stuff in their profiles. Anyway, I was contacted by a gorgeous young girl and we started chatting on msn, which eventually lead to phone calls and then a meeting. Yes we did sleep together when we first met up and the sex was awesome. All good. Now the thing is we have kept in touch and had a few more encounters and are now talking on a dialy basis and I'm finding myself very drawn to her. We basically hit it off very well, and have a lot in common. Im now at the point where I would like to consider dating this girl exclusively. I feel a real connection with her I haven't felt for a while. However... the fact that I met her on essentially a sex site sorta puts me off. And I certainly wasn't originally looking for a potential partner on this. I know she has randomly hooked up with other guys from there as she has told me. I haven't yet mentioned that I'd like to consider seeing her exclusively, so it remains to be seen whether she would or not. And I don't know how my friends or family would take it, fearing they might judge her as being someone who's promiscuous and a bit of a 'slut' knowing the circumstances in which we met. A label I certainly wouldn't want attached to a gf. She certainly does have a very high sex drive, we are very compatible in this department. What do people think?.. Should I steer clear of this girl in terms of relationship potential and just keep it on a purely physical level. Although the problem is I would probably see myself develop an attachment to her eventually. I guess I'm thinking there would be a trust issue there from the start as to what they are up too behind your back.. I know these days the internet can cause all types of problems in relationships with the ease in which we have access to all manner of people etc. Has anyone ever exclusively dated someone they met on an adult site and did it work out??.. Any thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks [/sIZE]
CarrieT Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 The bottom line, how do YOU feel about it and why are you considered what your friends and family think of her? If the feelings are mutual and she agrees to be exclusive, than the issue of her "being a slut" are going to be in your mind alone -- how would your friends or family know? You can tell them you met her online, but unless you are specific about which site, they might think it is eHarmony or Match or something innocuous. From the way you write your question, it seems to me that you are the one with the issues of how you met her. You are already viewing her as a slut and in the long run, you might never be able to get over that; you will always wonder if she is still on the site, seeing other guys, etc...
bac Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 You never know before you try. Go ahead and tell her that you want the exclusivity. She will give you the answer because she knows what she wants. Then go for the exclusivity if she wants that and you will see if it l work out. There is no way to get to know what is on her mind except to ask her.
WhyYesThankYou Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 Another consideration is that you were on the same site as her. So, how do you view yourself? Do you think you are an irredeemable "slut"? Do you think you will never form a committed, monogamous relationship? Do you think your hooking up with people you meet on adult sites makes you an undesirable prospect for long-term relationships? If the answer to these questions is "no," then why might you think or suspect these things of her? Is it okay for you to play around on adult sites, but you wouldn't want a potential partner to have done the same? If that's the case, why would that be okay for you but not the other person? Do gender stereotypes and your view of "how women should be" come into play? If you think you're on that site just for some fun until you find the right person, at which point you'll "settle down," might the same also be true of her? Do you suspect that, even if you were in a relationship, you'd be drawn to the appeal of adult sites and quick, easy hook-ups? Just some questions for you to consider.
surfer310 Posted June 19, 2009 Posted June 19, 2009 I recently had a similar relationship, except I didn't meet her on an adult sex site. Met through a friend and later found out she was on those sites. Man it bugged me. She's a hot woman with high sex drive. When I asked about the site she told me she never met anyone from there. I looked past it and things got serious in the relationship and we were exclusive for awhile. From various red flags that went up I got tempted to check her phone. Over a dozen guy's numbers saved from the site. And she was still checking out dude's profiles. Man what a turn off. The economy sized half empty condom boxes hidden next to her bed sealed the deal. It just depends on what you want and your values... once someone's been on those sites and actually meet ppl.. they're bound to go back for more. Unless she doesn't give you any reasons or signs to believe that, it's most likely to happen than not. In your case I guess it can happen for either of you. Gotta be able to spot scandalous ppl out there. Observe their eyes.. the eyes never lie.
Recommended Posts