ihatethis Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 Hi I am new to this forum. I have got married last year and I am from India.My in-laws are very orthodox. I do job. Some how, I convinced them to continue my job after marriage, but they want me to wear saree to office(Inidan traditional dress) and that to with ghoongat(keeping one part of my saree on my head) everytime, except in office. And manytimes my husband also thinks that way. I have never seen this type of customs in my family. My other friends who are from that state, also never do all these things. My father-in-law has never done anything in his life. we(I and my husband) are now taking the responsibility of my husband's family(his mother, father, brother) along with his 2 cousins studies, his uncle's business problems, his cousins marriage responsibilities(money wise). Recently I did an abortion because my husband has to do all these responsibilities and if I'll be pregenent then I can't support him financially. I must say, I always regret for killing my unborn baby. It was a very tough decision I took and people in his family who know about this never think how much my kid meant to me. My husband never supports me in any matter. Neither he answers back nor allows me to do when someone pass comment on me. He never gives me enough time also. Every week we have 2 days leave. 1 full day everytime he spend time with his friends and the other day is optionsal, depends on his mood. Nights are also same. We hardly have sex. He always stay awake late night(till 2 AM); either watch TV, does overtime work or chatting in internet. I feel my life doesn't have anything to live. I can't discuss all these with my parents, as I did love marriage; although with the approval of my parents, but I can't go back to them as I have a younger sister who is yet to get married. And I don't want to create any obstacle in her life, because of my tensions. Please suggest me what I need to do.
TaraMaiden Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 Where are you living? Not specifically, just a country will do.... The reason I ask is to know what kind of things may be available to you with regard to local/national law. People can't oblige you to wear clothing you do not wish to wear. It's possible you may be able to find refuge somewhere else and consider annulling the marriage. But this is all guesswork, until we know a little more. Good luck.
JayJ Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 Nothing quite so complicated as Indian family politics. Your best bet is to talk with those who know where you are coming from. The internet is the best place to start searching for other South Asian women to chat with. If you find that women you talk to who live in South Asia may be a little too conservative in their ways and may not sympathize as much as you might like, keep in mind that both Canada and England have huge South Asian communities where women tend to be both traditional AND progressive. So in your search for advice don't forget to check out these communities outside South Asia. In the meantime here's a link to get you started: http://indusladies.com/
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