honeyb13 Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 Hi loveshackers. Here is my story...I have been dating a guy for a little over two months and it has gotten very intense very quick. At first the attraction for him wasn't there, but I slowly grew to like him. The first few weeks were great and there wasn't too much fighting. He is a very jealous person though and would pretty much accuse me that I was sleeping around all the time. He would get suspicious if I was on my phone or anything like that. I moved out to the west coast without knowing a soul and he is pretty much all I have. My phone and facebook is a way of keeping in contact with those individuals. He gets super jealous of my male friends and I actually deleted some and stopped contact with them for fear he thinks I have slept or am going to sleep with them. At this point I knew I might have gotten myself into a controlling relationship. Well last night was the last straw, but somehow I'm feeling like I need to apologize which will not happen. Anyway we had each others keys and I wasn't too comfortable with it honestly, because I felt it was too soon. I didn't bother to ask for it back which was a mistake. So last night at 11:30 he walks in and I'm doing some research on dermatology on my phone before dozing off. It caught me off guard and I was a little upset, because he asked if I got his text saying that he was coming over. Of all the text in the world he has sent me this one magically disappears??? I knew he didn't send me a text and was really trying to catch me doing something. He then started saying "oh finish your convo with whomever you were talking to" and more crazy stuff. I showed him my phone and he told me I was up to something fishy. The accusations start flying, and never once would I think of cheating on him, much less do it. I asked to see the text he sent and he wouldn't show me which def. proves he didn't send it. That would have ended the argument right there. The argument escalated and he made sure he called me lazy and worthless before he left. I know this was probably the most unhealthy relationship, but why am I feeling like someone ripped my heart out and stomped on it???? It was very exhausting trying to prove that I didn't cheat on him, but I still feel like I am missing him??? The relationship is done and so is my self-esteem. Can someone please give me some sound advice? His actions were controllin or am I out of line??
wow123 Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 Yes he is being very controlling. Have you done anything to make him think he shouldn't trust you? If not the behavior is definitely unacceptable.
Exit Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 His jealousy is out of line, but I know myself I never love the idea of being with a girl who has a ton of guy friends. It can be hard to deal with. But to be that controlling in just 2 months is insane. Did you tell him that you were keeping in touch with these people because you didn't know anyone on the west coast? I think if you just give yourself a few days to recover it will be okay. It was only 2 months, you can move on.
Mike B. Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 Please walk away from this guy and don't look back. His behavior is too much even for years of dating. Do not second guess yourself on this one. Take your emotional lumps now to avoid a lot worse later. I can just see you on this site one year from now with a catastrophic story to tell involving this guy if you continue to see him.
asuman Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 Just reread your very own words. You already have the answers to your own questions. This is a controlling relationship, and you're choosing to stay in it only because you developed feelings for him. Let logic challenge your emotions, and logic will prevail. You deserve better than this, and you know it.
Author honeyb13 Posted June 16, 2009 Author Posted June 16, 2009 The bad definitely outweighed the good, but I did spend so much time with him within the two months. I guess it's hard for me to move on when I don't have a large network of friends here. I never gave him a reason to be jealous about my male friends and I even stopped talking to some male and females, because of his jealousy. You really think a few days is all I need? This is my first encounter with a controlling man, and I definitely want it to be my last.
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