janden Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 I've only been a part of this community for 24 hours, but reading all these posts seems to have given me some strength to do what I know I have to do. I've only been involved with my MM for less than 2 months, and even though I am falling (actually already fell) for him, I know I need to get out before I invest any more of myself in this relationship. I didn't hear from him today (didn't expect to) - he took a day off from work to clean up after this HUGE production of a graduation party they had for his son yesterday - the one he got into a fight about yesterday on the phone with his wife because she went "overboard" (see my first newbie thread "new here"). He uses a company cell phone to contact me (I can only imagine what he has me listed as under his contacts) - and his job has been eliminated & will end on Friday - therefore the phone will be gone. I've been curious as to how he intended to keep in touch with me once the phone went, but I never managed to ask the question. I guess I was afraid of the answer. So I'm going to beat him to the punch - he will call tomorrow a.m. on his way to work - should I ignore the call or take the call & tell him I'm done? Wish me luck - I feel strong & it all sounds so good in my head tonight. Tomorrow morning could be a whole different story.....
jj33 Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 Take the call and tell him. If you were involved with him for 2 months dont you think you owe him that? Wouldnt you want the same courtesy? Its hard but you are doing the right thing
OpenBook Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 Good luck janden!! You're doing the right thing. Take the call, and just tell him you can't handle any sort of relationship with him. Wish him luck, and say goodbye. Short and sweet, is the way I would do it. We'll be cheering you on!! :bunny:
bentnotbroken Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 You don't need luck. You need strength, courage and stubborn streak a mile wide to stand your ground...and from the tone of your post, you got a good start.
fooled once Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 How about just telling him that you don't want to date a married man?
babydreamer Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 yeah.. get out while you can. Run, run as fast as you can!!! Be strong because if you don't, you might not be able to later on. Good luck... i mean, have courage. We will cheer for you.
norajane Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 I've been curious as to how he intended to keep in touch with me once the phone went, but I never managed to ask the question. I guess I was afraid of the answer. This alone should be reason enough to dump him. Would you date a single guy who has to rely on smoke signals to contact you, and you couldn't call him at home or his own cell phone or email or stop by or have him come over whenever you wanted? So why put yourself though that with a married guy? You can do this.
whichwayisup Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 should I ignore the call or take the call & tell him I'm done? Why play games at this point? Tell him that you do not want to be his OW and you don't want any part in having an affair with him, helping him hurt and betray his wife and family. You haven't invested too much into him seeing as it's only been 2 months. He uses a company cell phone to contact me (I can only imagine what he has me listed as under his contacts) - and his job has been eliminated & will end on Friday - therefore the phone will be gone. I've been curious as to how he intended to keep in touch with me once the phone went, but I never managed to ask the question. I guess I was afraid of the answer. This says alot. You're afraid to know 100% for sure that you will be someone on the side to him, and this isn't meant to hurt you by me saying this. You deserve better and more, but you will not get it from him. Consider yourself lucky that its' only been 2 months! Imagine how you'd feel a year or two from now? Take this time to heal and get strong so you don't cave if he tries to woo you. Don't be his OW, you'll end up in more pain than you're in now.
sugarmomma Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 I got out after three months. So I would suggest the sooner the better. You have to set firm boundaries with him so that he will respect you. \ It has been a lil over 3 months and it seems like eternity since I last saw his fine azz!! Oh well, couldn't give me the honor and respect I deserved so off I went. You can do it!!! We'll be your cheerleaders but you have to have the courage to say NO NO NO !!!
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